The 25th of January.
Today has again not been great. I had Zopiclone so I at least had a decent sleep, but I am still feeling fairly crap about my inflated face and arms.
We were supposed to be having a celebratory day for my birthday, Christine’s new job and my parents’ anniversary tomorrow, but I was just not able to enter into the spirit. I just had a bagel at brunch, then reluctantly went to the panto because at least I’d be sitting in the dark and no one would be able to see my face. I actually started to enjoy the performance because it is a good show, but then it was decided that we’d go and have coffee in Starbucks in Selfridges. That just ended up being too much for me to cope with, and I had a minor explosion. I didn’t want to be there, didn’t want people to see me. It’s not that I’m worried about what they think of my appearance – I don’t want anyone to think this is my normal appearance at all. And I know we’re supposed to be celebrating but what is there for me to celebrate? It’s great, you all go forward with your lives, for me it’s just well done for not being dead yet, everything’s just as shit if not shittier than last year and all I am good at is winding wool around a hook.
This led to Mommy and I having a cry in the car while Daddy walked Christine to the station, then she climbed into the back seat to have a big hug, and eventually we were okay and we all came home.
Tonight I have no interest in being me.
The 26th of January.
Back in the peaks and troughs of my emotional state, today has not been so bad. I think my face is a little bit deflated but my right arm is still boggy. This, I think, lends credence to my theory of the narrowing being back, just not fully blocking because my blood is so thin from all the clexane.
This morning I gave Mommy and Daddy their 35th wedding anniversary card before she took him to the doctor for a blood test. It’s just for a check up, nothing of interest. I watched tv, wrote up a blog post and sewed together the body parts of an elephant without ears, eyes or a tail. We were just about to go out to M&S to buy some soup when Igor phoned. He is definitely in my top 10 doctors – he took my worries seriously and was going to get on the case with Andrew Willis and let Ram know what’s going on. I think I will just see him on Wednesday at clinic as it’s not urgent, but I need something doing. Hopefully venogram/plasty asap.
This afternoon I’ve done the body and the head of a cat. When all my extra wool arrives, I can finish off at least two animals! They will be very cute.