The 2nd of June.
Just seven and a half hours in hospital today, then an hour and a half drive home. Despite having two units of blood, I’m pretty pooped. I was awake at quarter to seven, ready to be at hospital for nine for my blood before ECP. No checked my haemoglobin and it had gone down again to 8.4, so it was a good thing she’d ordered two units for me.
From then on, it was fairly dull. I read the paper, and took the time as a good one to listen to some new albums in their entirety – Wolf Alice, Kacey Musgraves and Amber Run. I’d just got on to Florence and the Machine when Igor came along to talk about my leg and recurrent anaemia. The leg – well, we are going to get Ram to talk to Dr. Lester, the thrombosis man, about getting me off clexane, and I just have to live with my leg being boggy until it gets worse and we can do something then. For the anaemia, it appears that I’m iron deficient, so I have more tablets to take! Joy. This is probably the last time we’ll see him because he leaves in a week! I will be very sad to lose him, he’s been so great. Lucky Glaswegians.
Then just the 90 minute drive home, and here I am. Phew.
The 3rd of June.
Heavy cloud. It came over me this morning when I realised quite how big the difference in the size of my legs is. It looks like I’ve had a cast on the left one and it’s withered away, when it’s in fact the correct size. This is all Ram’s fucking fault and he’s going to bloody fix it. I’m angry because the way it looks is the only good thing about my body and he’s fucked that up.
Photopheresis was an hour late in getting started too, so that annoyed me more, then the hot dog I had at Colmore Food Fest was fine but not exactly warm, and we encountered traffic on the way home that meant we were too late to pick up packages from the sorting office, so I’ll have to get those tomorrow morning.
I’m just sitting here in festering rage because once again I look like a fucking freak and it’s someone’s fault and it’s not going to get fixed before we go away so I have to feel like shit about myself for weeks.