The 21st & 22nd; Every day I despair about the future.

November 23, 2015 — 3 Comments

The 21st of November. 

Oh, last night I was full of rage. I had been complaining on Twitter about how I miss the voice I used to have, how it kills me that I can’t sing the way I used to. I don’t talk about it a lot but performing was a massive part of who I used to be, it was what I was good at, what I was confident about and it was taken away from me. Someone who follows me advised that I try “breathing exercises” and I just about exploded. How someone that follows me can not know I have an incurable lung condition I just don’t know. The anger itself made me breathless. 

Today I went to see Mockingjay pt. 2 with Daddy. A film I didn’t think I’d live to see but here I am. The Hunger Games always makes me want to smash the government and this time was no different. President Snow holds echoes of David Cameron. Obviously, Dave is not quite as blatant about his disregard for the poor and the vulnerable but it’s there. He cares about those he deems important (i.e. his class, the wealthy) and the rest of us are inconsequential. Profit is all that matters and if he can dismantle public services so the private sector can take them over to run them poorly to no account then it doesn’t matter because he can afford decent care if it’s necessary. I wonder if he ever feels guilty about what he’s doing but I think it’s unlikely. Every day I despair about the future because I don’t want to live in the world the Conservatives are creating.

The 22nd of November. 

It has been freezing all day. I only tolerate being cold for Christmas and my birthday, otherwise winter would have no benefits at all. The only times I’ve really been warm today have been when I’ve had Nick on my lap. He isn’t doing the sad mews as much but he isn’t eating a lot and I’m not sure what to do about that. I’m just going on my knowledge that kittens tend to self-regulate and if food is there and he is hungry he’ll eat. 

I spent my morning reading yesterday’s paper, and I did very well on the crossword. I also got some inspiration for Christmas presents from the gift guide. I’m doing pretty well – got a spreadsheet going. 

This afternoon I have crocheted while Mommy and I caught up on two episodes of The Returned. That’s one foreign drama down for the week, now The Bridge has started again so we’ve got that too. We love Saga, she is excellent. 

Mommy had to go and check on the Christmas cake, so I went to see Nick and watch some Pretty Little Liars. It surprises me that it was only filmed in 2010-11 (I’m still on season 1) as the phones seem really old and they dress really badly. Well, in my opinion. They do have nice hair though. And interesting love lives. Just any love life would be nice. 

3 responses to The 21st & 22nd; Every day I despair about the future.

  1. 

    I am a fairly new follower (I also don’t know much about your condition) However I do know that it sounds like you are losing something you love and losing hope. I hope this gives you some.
    (hopefully I linked the right video)

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