Archives For January 2016

The 29th of January. 

My head is a big jumble of thoughts this evening. I think it best to start at the beginning. 

I woke up from a really complicated dream, I can’t remember the narrative but I was really annoyed that I am now disabled in my dreams, that is not fair. I wrote up a blog post, and Mommy went to Boots to look for some eye drops that were similar to the ones we hope to get prescribed and actually found them. She bought some, because I need something until I see a doctor, but having them prescribed would be better because they are not cheap. 

My wool for My Crochet Doll arrived, but I haven’t had time to do anything with it because Daddy and I went out at two to go to CineWorld to see Spotlight. It’s so good, really, everyone is so impressive. Mark Ruffalo is excellent, especially his physicality. I couldn’t help thinking how much Nish would like it, it’s definitely his kind of film. After seeing The Big Short last Friday and this today, I feel ever so highbrow. Both such important stories. I’d say The Big Short is more entertaining, but Spotlight never made me mad at myself. I came out of the film, a film about paedophile priests, to see a news story about how Doug Richard from Dragons’ Den has been found not guilty of child sex offences, despite admitting having sex with a 13 year old. I don’t know how, it doesn’t make sense to me. I’m kind of aghast. 

However, in nice news, the #match4lara campaign has added 12,000 new donors to Anthony Nolan, half of which are BAME, which is fantastic. So some people are good. 

The 30th of January. 

Ugh you know when you do something stupid and it just makes you hate yourself? I just spilt two thirds of a large glass of water all over the living room table and I’m so annoyed at myself, I can’t write properly, I’m trembling. 

My eyes have been better again today – I woke up with less pain than previous days. I read the paper, did the puzzles, and texted Becky to arrange a time for me to go round and see the progress they’d made on the house. 

We agreed on after lunch, so I finished off the head of the crochet doll, ate some food, and we watched all the stressful tennis. Mommy got quite emotional at Kerber’s win, less so at Jamie Murray’s. In the speeches, she just wanted Soares to shut up. 

Alison picked me up and we went to the house, which looks very different! It’s all plastered now, they have the log burner going and the gas fire in the front room, the kitchen is (almost) fully functional. The bedroom upstairs is painted, bed is in, and while I was there, the wardrobe got taken up the stairs to join it. It seemed like every moment, someone was calling Becky’s name to ask her opinion, or where a particular thing was, or just to tell her someone was wearing shoes in the bedroom. Tim, Rose and Mommy also joined us, so the house got very busy. I think it was a relief when we made our move. 

Arrived home, made a huge mess! Excellent show. 

The 27th of January. 

I have a headache. Don’t know where that’s come from – I’m not dehydrated, my blood pressure isn’t high, so I’m just ignoring it. 

Today has been rather productive. This morning was a blog post and holding myself back from ringing up This Morning. They were having a discussion about people wanting to take their dogs into shops and restaurants, and nobody was making the point that those places are hard enough to get around in a wheelchair, I can only imagine the hell they would become when filed with dogs too. I mean, I love them, but I love them outside and in people’s homes. 

This afternoon: crochet and Netflix. All the giraffe legs are done now, just tail, ears and “ossicones” (horns) left, then assembly! Soon Elle, Luna, Ellie, Esmé and I will have our baby day (thankfully, having one’s own baby is not mandatory).

I got a great book from the Easts for my birthday called My Crochet Doll and it’s full of patterns for doll, then loads of outfits and accessories, even pants and socks! That is definitely going to be my next project. 

The 28th of January.

I think the headache I had last night might have been from a lot of squinting I’ve been doing. I shall elaborate later. 

I finished almost all of the pieces of the giraffe last night, I just had one ossicone left to do this morning, then I finished stuffing the feet and I put her together. Looking at her from across the room now, I might add another patch – there’s a gap that is a little large for my liking. 

After lunch, we went into town for my eye test, and to buy thank you cards. I had a lot of discussion with the optician lady about what’s been going on stuff with my eyes, with the dryness, the Lacrilube/Vitapos problem, the sudden apparent decline in my vision. She checked the health of my eyes and the old scar from the GvHD, and that all looks fine, there’s no infection, but they did seem to be really quite dry. Then, when checking my actual vision, it became clear that I’ve got real problems focusing (hence the aforementioned squinting) because the fluid levels on the front of the eye are fluctuating, which is causing issues with my ability to see shapes clearly sometimes. She’s going to write to my GP recommending some eye drops for them to prescribe, and Miss Rauz at the Eye Hospital to ask her to see me. I’ve got to try to stabilise the moisture levels, then get my eyes tested again in a few months. Oh, the issues that cancer has left me with. It’s never quite over. 

The 25th of January. 

Well, the oxygen idea didn’t work, so tonight’s plan is to add my third pillow back in because that’s also changed. Hopefully I will wake up tomorrow with a tongue that doesn’t feel like sandpaper. 

Finally got Suzi’s parcel sent off this morning, First Class, so that should arrive tomorrow. I also did a blog post and wrapped myself in a blanket because it has been freezing in my house and I cannot cope with it. 

I had an email from Superdry saying my jumper was in so after Mommy had taken Grandma to the doctor (she’s got antibiotics) and we’d had lunch, we went into town to pick it up. 

The chap in the shop actually offered to open it up for me to check the contents and it was the correct thing in the right size, so that was all very pleasing. Last week, they gave me a card that said if I spent £75, I’d get £25 off, but I couldn’t find anything else I wanted. There wasn’t anything else we needed to do in the area so we came home again! Probably one of the shortest town trips ever. 

I called Piccadilly Opticians today to book an eye test. I’m really quite concerned about what seems to be a sudden deterioration of my vision. Thursday afternoon. 

The 26th of January. 

The extra pillow worked. How weird. Sleeping propped up I breathe better? Might ask Dr. Thompson about this. 

I didn’t have a good sleep – I woke in the middle of the night having had a dream about getting a spoon stuck in my oesophagus horizontally (impossible I know but dreams aren’t logical). I had to work very hard to distract myself from thinking about it to go back to sleep. 

Today is my parents’ wedding anniversary – 36 years. I came downstairs this morning and saw Daddy’s card, which he’d only seen of when he went to write it and found it said Happy Birthday! I can understand his thinking because from the front, it could be an anniversary card. Never mind. I am waiting until he comes home to give them their card. 

I got on the scales this morning for the first time in a fortnight. I still weigh myself regularly, I can’t let go of it. I was exactly the same as two weeks ago, so my days of birthday excess have had absolutely no effect. That’s a good thing, because I’m nowhere near ready to be getting back in the gym yet – I made my own lunch today and was becoming breathless by the time I was plating up. Everything is still such an effort. 

The 23rd of January. 

Today I’m a very schweepy bear. Double Zopiclone last night but it was solid and dreamless which is all I require. When getting dressed, I opened a delivery from Superdry (I ordered another jumper in the sale, sue me) and it was most definitely not a dark red cable knit crew neck. It was a green hoodie. I had my breakfast, then wrote about yesterday, because I didn’t have time last night. When I’d finished, Mommy, Christine and I went into town so I could discuss the jumper problem with Superdry. 

I put on a red lip so they knew I meant business, as I couldn’t do a power eyeliner because my eyes have been being sensitive again in the past few days. The manager of Superdry couldn’t give me the correct jumper because they hadn’t got one in my size, but I’ve ordered it again online to be delivered to the shop so we can check that it’s correct before I take it home again. I just really like knitwear. 

I ate my first doughnut, the crodough – trying to eat them in the order of the ones which will keep least well. I spent the majority of the afternoon typing up my birthday blog while watching Pretty Little Liars. 

I’d really like a nap now. 

The 24th of January. 

Well, I remember bits and pieces of yesterday. Zopiclone is a funny old beast. I recall what happened in the episodes of Pretty Little Liars I watched but not a Facebook post I made yesterday morning. 

I woke up for the second morning in a row with a painfully dry mouth and after discussing it with Mommy, we’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because I’ve stopped the oxygen, so to get enough into my system, I’ve been breathing through my mouth. Tonight I’m going to put the oxygen back on and we’ll see what happens. 

My eyes were less painful this morning, so tonight I’ll use the ointment again, just a small amount. All the little things that need fixing. Watched Sunday Brunch, did the puzzles from yesterday’s paper, and Mommy and Daddy went to get Grandma who was coming for lunch. However, they returned without her because she wasn’t feeling well again. 

After lunch, I sat and crocheted the body of Esme’s giraffe. The pattern is annoying because they don’t tell you exactly where to put the patches, “just place them randomly”, and I can’t do that. I did the whole body in the base colour, then put the patches on top. It looks like a very strange pear at the moment because of the giraffe’s long neck. 

Christine gone! Back in March. 

The 21st of January. 

Happy Birthday to me!

It’s also a year since I stopped steroids today and the difference in my face is insane.

I had some Nutella on toast for breakfast before I started opening my presents and cards. Carol had sent me the book about A Streetcat Named Bob, Auntie Hilary had sent a Lars Kepler book, and an Amazon voucher to buy the 5th book in the series when it comes out in May. Mommy and Daddy had bought me a necklace and the “perishables” was some macarons from Macarons & More, super tasty!

We went out late morning to do some shopping, and I got some cashmere socks, merino wool and silk socks, and a pair of leather trousers all half price! Daddy and Christine both phoned to wish me a Happy Birthday, and we came home for about half an hour before going out to pick up Grandma to go to Harvey Nichols for afternoon tea. 

We met Daddy in the car park, and were a little bit early so had a little bimble around the shop before going into the champagne bar/restaurant for our tea. I had an egg sandwich and a cream cheese and cucumber sandwich, one and a half scones (which were incredibly good, even if I did throw half of one on the floor) and a chocolate delice. I was also presented with a glass of champagne, Grandma gave me the Happy Birthday charm from Pandora, and Mommy and Daddy gave me a pair of diamond earrings and I was floored, not expecting that at all. 

Tonight, we’re having birthday cake and more champagne with Becky and James. Happy girl. I am so lucky. 

The 22nd of January. 

Happy Birthday pt. 2!

Early start for our trip to London! Arrived at New Street at 10, bought coffee and paper, then barely had time to get settled in the assistance area before the chap came to take us to the train! On the journey, I had to cope with a girl having to vomit in the toilet near me several times, and I saw two girls with four blue WKDs who I was glad not to be seated near. 

Got a cab very quickly and he took us to The Savoy. The doorman did something to the door so we could get through the rotating panels with the wheelchair, then we sat on some large pouffes while waiting for Christine. She emerged somewhat weather-worn and relieved to sit down, then regaled us with tales of her stressful morning. She’d had plans to go to all sorts of cake shops, then arrange them in a box for me. There hadn’t quite been time, so I got them in there own bags/boxes. She got me a vanilla bean and a chocolate truffle doughnut from Crosstown, an Oreo cheesecake crodough from Timberyard, a zebra crodough from Harrods, and a s’more from Cutter & Squidge! All that PLUS a Moomin make up bag and notebook. She is the best. 

Onto foods! Started with champagne (again). Mommy and Christine had the same four course Escoffier menu, which meant a came to explain each dish they were having. We all had the same starter, the glazed omelette Arnold Bennett, and I can totally understand why he ate it every day – it’s fucking delicious. Then Mommy and Christine got a ravioli while Daddy and I munched on bad. The main courses arrived soon after, and I had an excellent steak on the rare side of medium-rare, and I was very pleased that they left the peppercorn sauce on the side, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to eat it. 

I knew I wouldn’t fit in a pudding, so after watching Mommy and Christine’s sour cherries get flambéed, I went to investigate the toilets. They were incredibly fancy – I love a place where you dry your hands on a flannel then chuck it in a bin. I also had no qualms about taking a selfie or two in the big mirror. Upon my return, our coffee was being served, so we drank that while we ate the tiny extra desserts, paid, and said goodbye. 

Our plan was to go to Picturehouse Central, because Christine is a member, so we went to see The Big Short with 3 discounted tickets and one free for me! We sat on the back row of sofas and wrapped up in blankets because the heating was on the blink. The film is so good, so important, but entertaining as well. It made me hate everyone including myself (because at one point I was rooting for the guys who wanted the economy to fail). It also made me want to squirrel all my money away in suitcases  

We still had an hour before we needed to get back to Euston, so we sat in the café downstairs where I was refreshed with an orange juice and we saw Adrian Chiles from football. We were lucky and grabbed a cab very promptly, from a cabbie whose daughter is at Birmingham Uni. At Euston, the others bought some food (I was still full from lunch), then we saw Paddy McGuinness as we were heading to assistance. Daddy had been complaining about not having seen any famous people while we were at The Savoy and now we’d seen two!

The train home was packed. I listened to St. Paul and the Broken Bones and was very chilled out. 

The 19th of January. 

I managed to go out today without receiving fearful stares from those around me. I had quite a fun morning with the doorbell ringing multiple times. The first visit was from the postman, and he arrived while I was in the bathroom, so I had to rush out to get my birthday card from Christine, my first coffee from Pact, and my wool for Esme’s giraffe. Another ring from an APC man who delivered a box for Mommy that was “fragile” and held “perishables”. Very mysterious, I wonder what it is? The final person here was Gail asking me to take a parcel for Alison which was massive but wasn’t a present for me, just skiwear for Jonathan. 

After lunch, we went into Sutton so I could get a box to post Suzi’s crocheted stuff in, which thankfully is big enough to hold the extra thing she’s asked for, and had a lovely chat with the girl in Paperchase about Alan Rickman because I was wearing my Gryffindor scarf and she’s obviously a super cool person. I also got some wool that I can use to finish the baby blanket I was doing over the Christmas period. When we’d finished, Mommy took me to Black Sheep to get my fringe trimmed, but when she was parking, she scraped the car she was pulling in front of and caused damage to one of the front lights. She wrote a note with her details on but we haven’t heard from them yet which is very odd considering you’re only allowed to park there for an hour. Michaela was annoyed at herself because she’s dropped her phone in the toilet, and I consoled her, reminding her I’d done exactly the same thing in that very salon.

The rest of the afternoon has been crochet! That and trying and failing to fix the WiFi. Such excitement. 

The 20th of January. 

A very similar day to yesterday – lots of crochet with a trip out in the middle, but this time to the chiro. 

This morning I had my breakfast, coffee, then fit in a small amount of crochet before we had to go out to see Trine. It really hurt to even lie on my front this time, but I clenched my jaw and got through it because it was necessary. My back popped in a few places, and my neck crunched. I also needed some massage on my gristly ribs again but it was markedly improved. 

When we got home, we had lunch, the postman brought lots of cards for me to open tomorrow, I have been busily crocheting away while watching Pretty Little Liars, and now have only one tiny bit of this thing left to make tonight before I assemble it. 

I’m so excited for tomorrow and Friday. All the tasty foods! I also iced my birthday cake (Curly Wurly cake) this afternoon, and have just ruined, then fixed it. I was doing extra decoration with melted chocolate but it looked utterly dreadful, making me wish I hadn’t done it at all. We were able to lift off the chocolate with knives, and I can make it pretty tomorrow. 

The 17th of January. 

Not super-exciting day. I’m nearly back into my normal sleep pattern, I just have to fight the urge to ignore my alarm when it comes to morning. 

I watched Sunday Brunch while I did a blog post, then went through three of Mommy’s food magazines, marking the recipes I want to eat. Mainly stuff involving root vegetables, my go-to food when it’s freezing. Those and beans on toast, which I had for lunch. More snow today, proper snow this time, not just a heavy frost. 

After hairwash, I crocheted all afternoon, working in the second thing for Suzi, which I should have done by the end of tomorrow. I worried about the colour of my phlegm (delightful, I know) because it’s definitely yellow today, but I don’t feel any different. I really hope it was just a blip because I am supposed to be getting better. I cannot afford to have coloured junk coming up from my lungs now of all times! 

The 18th of January. 

I have felt kind of floopy all day. My back is painful again so that is irritating, but I have the chiro on Wednesday so Trine can fix me again then. Thank god for that woman. 

It’s been another crochet day – second project done! I’ll get a box tomorrow after my fringe trim so I can pop them in the post. I watched the last two episodes of season 2 of Pretty Little Liars while I worked, and that was very dramatic. Also dramatic was the second episode of season 3 of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D – if you watch it, you’ll know what I mean. So stressful. 

That is pretty much it, I have to say. I’ve been in a shawl all day because it’s still awfully cold, and I’m thinking hard about things I want for my birthday. Anything from the Moomin shop, coffee, baked goods, fancy wool, jelly babies, cute nail vanishes, pictures of dogs. It’s so difficult to come up with things!