The 8th of April.
Today has been shit.
It began agreeably enough; I woke up and had my breakfast, then wrote up a blog post. It was at this point that Hamilton came out of his nest, and it was immediately obvious that something was wrong. He usually comes out to get food or have a drink or a wee, or just has a tidy. He wasn’t doing any of those things – he was really wobbly, hadn’t eaten any of his food, and wasn’t opening his eyes. He tried to clamber to the opposite corner of his cage, and it was just awful to watch. He was clearly very confused and not in control of his body. We rang the vet and the earliest they could fit him in was half past three, so then we just had to wait. He managed to get back to the nest and just settled in the top, which was very considerate of him because it meant I could keep checking he was still breathing.
Driving to the vet and taking him in was traumatic; he came back out and started wandering about and falling over. He was finding it so difficult. We didn’t have to wait long to be called in and the vet was very nice. There was nothing he could do, but we couldn’t let him suffer. He had to get some forms for us to sign, then we said goodbye and went to wait for them to bring him back out so we could take him home.
We buried him in our little pet cemetery in the garden, so he’s with Toffee, Ceefer and Oscar now. Poor little Ham.
The 9th of April.
I feel a little bit better today. I’m still sad, but I was cheered by the sight of small dogs. It’s weird to not have anything in the corner of the living room where he used to live. When I was eating my lunch, I suddenly realised I didn’t have to save a piece of apple for him. But, as Mommy said, we’ll have to get another one because we just bought a big bag of food.
Today was cinema trip. This morning, read the paper and Stu’s last Man With A Pram column while organising with Robyn over Twitter the details for my visit to them in May. Can’t wait to squidge Herbie’s cherubic little face.
We went to see Midnight Special. We’d planned to go yesterday but then I couldn’t leave Hamilton, so we went today. It was busier than I expected – I thought it might be quite a niche audience. Not so! We saw a trailer for a film called Me Before You and Christ, it looks depressing. I am Sam Claflin. Not going to watch that. Our film was not sad. It was a little bit stressful and not great for people who are sensitive to bright light, but overall a lovely film about family. A boy and his parents, and he isn’t supposed to be here, and they have to let him go. It’s also about science and religion and things that can’t quite be explained with words, but it revolves around love. Go and see it if you can.