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Documenting not dying since October 2013.

The 12th & 13th; It's like it was made for me.

The 12th & 13th; It's like it was made for me.

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The 12th of August.  This is ridiculous. The rash is intolerable, so I am going to stop the oxycontin altogether and then probably just move as little as possible. I have haematology clinic on Wednesday so I can talk to Ram about it then and if we need to get the pain team involved then that can happen. Why has no one invented a painkiller with no side effects yet? There must be money in that. 

I'm also not sleeping brilliantly, so being awake early meant I was ready to go out to the QE this morning at half ten to pick up my HRT patches. From there, we went into town for a very short visit to go to Superdrug for facewipes, heat protection spray and lip stain, then I simply had to go to Selfridges to see the new Self-Portrait collection in the flesh because I am in love with the new Nina pleated mini dress and I just had to stroke it or something. The sales assistant asked if I wanted to try it on but we really didn't have time. I really want it. Like, a lot. 

This afternoon I have been very still, watching the athletics and crocheting. There will be a lot of that in the upcoming week, I think. Not much movement at all. The most I have done is have some people round to look at Nadia - I thought it was just going be the woman I spoke to, then her husband came too which was obviously fine, then their four children arrived at the door and I thought it might go very badly but all of the work we have done is paying off, because the kittens were really good! Admittedly Nadia hid under the chair to begin with, but she came out and allowed them to view her. Six people means lots of opinions though, so they are currently split as to who they want. I am awaiting the result of a vote. 

The 13th of August.

Today has been so much better. We decided to stop all the pain medication, because the side effects were far outweighing the minimal amount of benefit I was getting, and the relief is unreal. I have been able to get through the day without feeling like I'm about to drop off, and I have barely itched at all. The difference has been quite phenomenal. 

I was up early to go to Black Sheep for a fringe trim at ten, where Michaela was extremely appreciative of the way my purple is fading out, then Mommy and I went into town again. I had to try on the dress and take it home with me. I came up with many reasons to justify its purchase which I am not going to list here but suffice to say its fine. I had to ask a lady if they had it in a ten, because on the floor they only had a six and a fourteen, and it was a nerve-wracking wait until she came back with a dress in her arms. We (me, Mommy and Toni, the personal shopper I'd accosted) went to the changing rooms and they were empty, so I had all the space! I put it on, then had to be zipped up, and it just fit me perfectly. It's like it was made for me. The decision was made at that moment, really. I looked in the mirror to check it looked how I thought it did, and I am just so glad I went back for it. Anybody who says you can't buy happiness has never put on a dress that fits them like a glove. 

A quick stop at Charlotte Tilbury for an eye pencil before we left, where they were very complimentary of my hair. I told them about Black Sheep, and they squealed because Dan (one of the stylists) used to work on the beauty floor and they all miss him greatly because he's adorable. 

After lunch, Daddy and I went to see Finding Dory, which was only mildly spoiled by children. I have no problem with them as long as they behave or if their parent deals with any bad etiquette. However, the child behind me was too young for the cinema. They were constantly chattering, climbing over rows of seats and the mum just followed them around without actually doing anything. Anybody with any consideration of other cinema-goers would have removed them twenty minutes in. GAH. The kid ruined the lovely reunion scene in the pipes as well; unacceptable. If they had made noise in the scene which made me do embarrassing crying, I might have yelled at them, but miraculously, they were quiet for those five minutes. 

The 14th & 15th; I have done so little.

The 14th & 15th; I have done so little.

The 10th & 11th; So sleepy and itchy!

The 10th & 11th; So sleepy and itchy!