Archives For November 2016

The 28th of November. 

I think I’m just about okay today. I was still a bit wibbly when I got up, so my potential gym trip was off. Not lifting heavy weights when I might fall over. 

This morning I did a blog post and painted my nails a festive green while snuggled up in my pyjamas and fur-lined hoodie. I did get dressed, just later than might be considered socially acceptable. Well, I’m kind of poorly. It’s allowed. 

After lunch, I sorted out some of the crap in my bedroom so now it has either been put away or is in piles to get put somewhere else or in the bin. Then I had a try at making a coffee using a drip filter, as my Pact advent calendar coffee is ground for that particular brewing method, and I usually use my espresso machine. 

It was okay but next time I will use more coffee – I started off with just 16g. Not strong enough. My next job was to have another trawl of the internet for potential Christmas presents, but I am severely lacking in inspiration. Everything I see, I just think is a terrible gift. I’ve bought four things I like and made two crocheted things but that is all and I am struggling. I am really hoping some ideas come to me in a dream. Mommy and I have our annual London Christmas shopping trip next week, so maybe I will see things then.

The 29th of November. 

I’ve only had the one wobbly moment today, so I think whatever it was has passed. Hooray!

I had a quiet morning. Mommy was out at the chiro, and I spent my time doing another filter coffee and crocheting a leg of the unicorn I’m making. I used some of Daddy’s coffee for today’s practise and it was not nice at all. I do not like that blend. I’m glad I have my own. 

I had an appointment to get my hair cut after lunch, and we had quite the palaver with the hair washing. Just as my first shampoo was being done, the pressure on the boiler went, and the shower heads weren’t producing any hot water. Not ideal. They tried various things, but ended up having to use hot water from the coffee machine to rinse my hair, which was fine but I was just glad I got in when I did and wasn’t having any colour done! The chap couldn’t come until five, so I hope it’s fixed now. 

So I was there somewhat longer than expected, but that was fine with me, I just felt bad for Michaela and the knock-on effect it was having. All nice and short now, and re-whitening in two weeks. 

When I got home, I had to ring a potential adopter because I didn’t think she fully understood how Cats Protection works, then I made another unicorn leg and ordered all my Christmas cards. At least I have that sorted. Glee Club tonight! Seann Walsh and the best fish finger sandwich. 

The 26th of November.

It has not been a good day. I woke up in the night to pee and nearly fell over because I felt like I was drunk. When I was woken up again by an angle grinder being used by the builders next door, I still felt like my head wasn’t connected to my body and it has not got better as the day’s gone on. I just tried a travel sickness tablet and it hasn’t worked. It’s so weird – my blood pressure is fine, I don’t know what’s going on. I’m hoping it’s purely a 24 hour thing. 

To then make matters worse, we had some really terrible news. Our friend Keith, who has been waiting for a liver transplant for over a year, got the call yesterday morning and went into theatre in the afternoon. We found out today that he died on the table. There is always a risk, of course, but you never expect it to happen to someone you know, and it has gone from being the best Christmas present to total devastation. I am so sad, and even more so for Mommy, who made the most agonising noise when she read Gareth’s (Keith’s husband) message. I just wish that more people were donors. It could have been different. 

So I’m sad, I feel weird, I have no kittens to pet, and I don’t like life today. The only good thing that happened was that my Biscuiteers advent calendar got delivered. 

The 27th of November. 

I still feel weird today. Not as bad as yesterday, but I’m still not 100% okay. 

So this morning I did things very slowly, no fast movements and no turning my head too quickly and I’m alright. I watched Joe on Sunday Brunch and did a bit of hat crocheting but that was all. 

Daddy and I went to see Amber, one of the other fosterers. She had a problem with the electrics in her cat pen (it’s like a lit, heated shed for cats to live in) so we went to see if Daddy could fix it. I had no real input, I just stood and petted her enormous floofy Maine Coon while Daddy took things apart. It turned out to be pretty easy – her plug was full of water and some of that wires had corroded. We just had to go to B&Q where Daddy got a new plug, then we went back and he made it work again! Shaki will be thrilled that we now have more space. 

When we got home, I had time to do a tiny bit of prep for tonight’s CP meeting before we had our rather late lunch. I had about twenty minutes after that and it was time to go to Lee’s. Now I’m homing officer, I have a lot more to do with these kind of things. I might have some cats soon, it depends on what happens with the viewing at Nicole’s tomorrow. 

The 24th of November. 

Another early start, but I can sleep in tomorrow. To combat my tiredness, I had three coffees before lunchtime, but that means I am very yawny now. 

The food show didn’t open until ten, when normally it starts at half nine, so when we arrived, everybody was still queuing to get in. I managed to get through the crowd, avoiding the stand where they were selling show guides, and chose to instead drive up and down all the aisles and see where I wanted to purchase things from. I stopped at Fudge Kitchen, because once it gets busy they’re impossible to get to, so I bought some drinking fudge and we had a lovely chat about GameBoys and hen dos. I went round all the drinks but bought none because I don’t want vodka that tastes like toffee. Bleah. I did as I always do, buying four brownies and a corker from The Brownie Bar, and at Gower Cottage I got a brownie, plus jars of brownie and blondie butter. Very excited about them. I also got a muffin from the Merangz people (disappointing) and a BBQ pork sausage roll for lunch. There was a stand of vegan chocolates and it was nice chocolate (I tried some) so I bought some for Lauren, and then I was pretty much done! We were home by half one. 

This afternoon, I had some more CP admin to do (apparently there is not normally so much back and forth with people but I have really been thrown in at the deep end) and now I am waiting for a lady and her daughter to come and see Ava and Amira. Hoping they can get through the Boldmere Christmas Extravaganza traffic. 

The 25th of November. 

One kitten down, two to go. I’m taking the gap between adoptions to do this. 

I got to sleep in until a vastly preferable nine o’clock this morning, and I was glad I didn’t have to do any blog typing up because I had to fill in all the paperwork for this evening’s adoptions. Three lots of PetPlan forms takes time. Plus I managed to buy a couple of Black Friday sale items for Christmas. Well, one thing for a present, one thing for me. I have not been an organised as usual – need to get going. 

After lunch, Daddy and I went to see Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. It’s alright. I mean it’s very well made and all looks impressive, but the story is crap. So thin. The amount of non-white characters can be counted on one hand. I don’t know why Johnny Depp was there. How they can stretch this out into five films I have no fucking clue. 

We got home with about ten minutes to spare before Stephen came for Archie. He was very good about getting into the carrier (Archie, not Stephen) and I really think he will be happy in his new home. He will be loved a lot

I think I will be most sad to say goodbye to Ava. She is just lovely and I love her. I must not cry. 

The 22nd of November. 

I think all of the discomfort has abated now. Still not going back to the gym though as I’m still bleeding more than I would like. 

I got a blog post done this morning before we had to go out. I was at the chiro having my back crunched, and thankfully there was not too much work to be done, just a very stiff neck. On the way home, we went to Tesco for stuff for baking (there’s some kind of Christmas fair at Grandma’s church on Thursday), then home for lunch. 

This afternoon, I spoke to the potential adopter I couldn’t get hold of yesterday, and gave her the details of the black and white adult cat who’s being advertised on the Cats Protection website. I’m waiting to hear back from the couple who came to see Archie last night – they loved him, but they loved the other two as well, so now I think they’re having trouble deciding. I hope they choose Archie, or I’ll feel so sad for him. 

I spent the rest of my time crocheting. A request was put in for a couple of hats for the aforementioned jamboree, so I knocked up two, for a toddler and a child. 

Really early start tomorrow. QE at 9. Yay. 

The 23rd of November. 

Awake at 5.45 today. I was wanted at clinic as early as possible because my cortisol levels were being checked. However, that did mean I could actually choose where to sit because the waiting room hadn’t filled up yet! Then I’d barely read any of my book when I got called in by Charlie Craddock. It was actually really good to see him instead of Ram because when I complained about the lack of pain team appointment, he said he would chase them for me, and he has slightly more clout than Ram. He then proceeded to dictate his letters (to my other consultants and the pain team respectively) while I was still sitting there which I always find super awkward but it’s good to know his chasing will definitely be done. Plus he was very complimentary about my Anthony Nolan work.

I had a big order for pharmacy, so while they were doing that, we popped up to TCT to see if they were interested in having a load of my books, which they were, so it was a good thing we’d brought them with us!

Before going home, we went into town so I could get a graph paper notebook (Moleskine appear to be the only place to stock them). Then this afternoon, I have been ringing more potential cat adopters, crocheting my Christmas scarf (it’s nearly there) and icing cakes for the church Christmas thing. 

Another early morning tomorrow but going to be worth it – Winter Food Show!

The 20th of November. 

Feeling slightly more comfortable today. I still can’t sit cross-legged on the floor, but that will get better. 

I spent pretty much my whole morning typing up the super long blog post (making readers cross their legs in sympathy), then Becky came round for tea and a catch up. I told her all about Friday, and the saga we had with Ava and Amira. She’s having a much better time at her new school, and we allowed ourselves to get excited about Christmas. The Boldmere lights switch-on is on Thursday and the roads will be hellish, plus I’m pretty sure it’s all going to be audible from our house so there will be no escape. Bahhh. I don’t know if we’ll go; there’ll probably be youths everywhere and I can’t bear most people younger than me. Oh well! We are looking forward to the 17th of December though, when we go to see Muppets Christmas Carol at The Electric and we plan on visiting the new Cereal Killer Café. 

This afternoon, I tried the estrogen cream with the applicator. It was weird, but I think it was better than using the dilator. Then I had a lovely, admin-filled time setting up a database on my computer for all the cars, because the system of just using a spreadsheet is not adequate for me. Finally putting my Applied ICT GCSE to some use!

The 21st of November. 

It has been a very quiet day in the Cartwright household because I have been the only one here. Mommy and Daddy have spent today driving to and from Peterborough, because it was the funeral of my second cousin once removed. I was not in a position to be sitting in a car and on uncomfortable chairs for hours on end so I stayed at home. 

This morning, I bimbled about, having to give the kittens a second breakfast because they were apparently starving when Mommy got up at half six. I got an interesting email from a guy I know who works at the BBC and is looking at making a series involving accessibility for disabled people when trying to get around, things that able-bodied people don’t have to think about. I tried not to get too ranty about how terrible most places are. 

After lunch, I was back upstairs at the computer, working on Cats Protection stuff and talking to various people about little issues I’ve noticed in some of the information I’ve got. I rang my first potential adopter, but she wants a very specific kind of cat and we currently have none like that, so she’ll be having to wait. 

Mommy and Daddy got back not long after four, while I was on the phone to Christine, so she got to chat to all of us, and now I am waiting for the people who are coming to see Archie tonight. Hopefully the dreadful weather won’t impact upon their travel time too much.

The 18th of November.

Today has not gone at all how I expected. Up at half past five, at the Women’s by half seven. Mommy came up to the ward with me (mainly because I couldn’t carry my overnight bag on the chair), then left me with a couple on my right and one in the far corner. The nurse (whose name I can’t remember) came to clerk me in, and was amazed by my history (as are most people). She was grateful for my drugs list, gave me a red wristband (allergies), then the healthcare assistant, Mercy, came to do my obs and bring me my anti-DVT stockings. While getting changed, I took a sneaky sip of water to help my dry mouth, then I sat and listened to the corner couple having a hushed, Jeremy Kyle-style domestic. She was really stressed about whatever she was having done, and he was telling her to “Just deal with it like everybody else in here.”, which was not very helpful. They both wanted each other to fuck off, but she also wanted him to be able to stay because she’d freak out if left alone. I gleaned that she wants a hysterectomy but nobody will do that because she’s only 23. Poor girl.

Miss Byrom and Gerwyn the anaesthetist came to see us all individually. She just ran through with me again what she was going to do – remove/separate the adhesions, attempt to do a smear, and take biopsies if deemed necessary. Gerwyn was very nice (as are all the anaesthetists I’ve met) and he was glad to have my latest lung function results. He mentioned that he wouldn’t be intubating me (for a short sleep I’d bloody well hope not), just putting down a smaller breathing tube. That was fine.

I was second on the list, so while I waited to be taken down, I decided to use the time productively and do a blog post. While I was writing, the girl in the corner came to the conclusion that she didn’t want to stay, but before she came back, the porter came and he and Mercy took me down to theatre.

I moved over to the theatre gurney, and was wheeled into the anaesthetic room. I met some new people, confirmed my identity and what I was having done, then Gerwyn had to find somewhere to cannulate me. The first vein didn’t want to co-operate, then the one on the other hand was only too happy to squirt blood everywhere. Still, it was in, then he gave me some morphine to relax me, put the mask over my face emitting gas that smelled of vanilla, and off to sleep I went.

I awoke maybe 45 minutes later, conscious that some time had passed but not long. No dreams. I was acutely aware that things were inside me and that I needed the toilet. I was told that in theatre they had put a catheter and a pack in, which would be pressing on my rectum which was why I felt like I needed to poo. The nurse in recovery was pleased with how awake I was and that I was drinking and talking, so she called the ward and the other nurse looking after me (Rachel) came down. I asked her if the lady in the corner had stayed and it turned out she had. Change of heart. The boyfriend had had to leave though because them’s the rules. She checked the inco-pad underneath me and we found that the catheter had come undone, so she screwed it back together and changed the pad so I had a clean bed.

Back on the ward, they said I would have to stay for at least six hours, until half past four, when they could take the pack out, then the catheter, and I’d have to pee without it. This was not great news but fine, I could deal with it, I just had to adjust my position regularly. It was really, very uncomfortable, and the need to poo did not abate at all. I was brought some tea and toast which at least made my tummy stop rumbling. I texted Mommy and Christine to let them know how I was, and finished off the blog post. Visiting started at 2, so I asked Mommy if she’s come then with some coffee and lunch. To pass the time, I worked on my Christmas scarf and tried to ignore my discomfort.

When she arrived, I explained in more detail what had happened this morning and told her about the whispered argument in the corner (which seemed to have been forgotten when he returned). I drank my peppermint mocha and ate my panini, all the while wriggling around. I tweeted and crocheted, and we kept hearing the nurse ring a particular doctor about him coming to see the lady in the other corner, then she could leave. She waited for him for four hours, and in the end, he didn’t even show up, just gave some instructions on what she needed to do. I would have been fuming.

By ten past four, I was counting down the minutes until we could take the pack out. I was the only one left in the bay by this point, so I could be plenty vocal about my need to have to removed. Thankfully, at half four on the dot, Rachel was all ready to do it. The curtains got pulled round, I pulled the sheet down and spread my legs. She put a sick bowl down for the pack to go in, and started pulling out the gauze. I have never, ever experienced anything like it. There was so much pain as it ripped away from the skin inside my vagina, and seemed to go on forever, like when a magician pulls a string of flags from his sleeve. In a way it did seem like magic because I have no idea how they fit so much in there. At one point, we got to a knot where it emerged that there were two packs tied together and we were only halfway through! I was in absolute agony but I told her to keep going because I just needed it to be over. When she’d finished, the blood-soaked gauze filled the sick bowl and I didn’t even feel any of the relief that I’d expected, just sheer trauma. Thank fuck I never have to give birth because that was one of the worst things I have ever been through.

I was still bleeding a lot, so we didn’t take out the catheter in case they had to put another pack in. I really did not want this to happen and I willed my body to stop. Thankfully, it did slow down, and by the time Miss Byrom came round, it was at a much more acceptable rate. She had prescribed some topical estrogen cream and explained how to use it, and gave me a slightly more graphic description of what had happened in theatre. Basically, there was only a tiny amount of vagina that was open, maybe a centimetre, and she really just had to stick her finger through and rip me apart. Brutal, but the only way. Also, they couldn’t see any hint of my cervix or the coil, but they’re definitely in there. Just don’t know how we’ll get them out when it comes to that. Still, she was happy with how I was, so the catheter and cannulas could be removed. Then I would just have to wee and I’d be able to go home! I didn’t expect this to be a problem as I’d been drinking all afternoon, but my bladder was not keen on letting any of it go.

I managed one rather small wee, which was not adequate, then I just had to drink more. I drank glass after glass, watching the clock because I really wanted to get to The Glee to see Tom and Suzi for 8. About 10 past 7, my stomach was as tight as drum with the amount of water filling it up, and I went to see if there was anything to be done that might help. I couldn’t have any diuretics, but Rachel was happy that I had at least done a wee and was confident that I was sensible enough to know what to do if anything seemed wrong.

I went for one more pitiful try, then Mommy and I took the paperwork and cream, and off to The Glee we went! I decided that I would text Suzi and ask her if she could get a member of staff to let me in the back door so I could go up in the lift and not have to climb the stairs, which she very obligingly did.

This meant I was the first one in, and for a little while, I sat alone in the studio while an excellent playlist of musical theatre tunes played. I couldn’t do the kicks on stage that I might have, but I did take a selfie because I’m cool. Then the room started to fill up, and Tom and Suzi appeared! The format was essentially intro, Suzi’s show, interval, Tom’s show. They were both equally hilarious and thought-provoking and delightful in different ways, and I enjoyed myself immensely. I popped into the dressing room at the interval to say hello and have hugs and chats, and I got to wang on about my very strange day.

Time flew by, and suddenly it was time for part two, so we had group hug and a photo before Tom’s half. I think his show was longer than Suzi’s, and by the time it was curtain down, it was nearly eleven o’clock and I was very ready to go to bed. So tired. But I was really happy I got to finish my day laughing so much with my lovely pals.

The 19th of November.

Well I don’t feel great. Having got in late, I thought I’d sleep really well, but all that water caught up with me and I woke up four times to pee. Did not want to wake up at half nine when my alarm went off but I thought I should.

I stayed in my pyjamas all morning, feeling rather delicate and taking things slowly. Mommy and I caught up on I’m A Celebrity, and I finished crocheting the tiny Christmas tree for inside a bauble. Lunchtime came round quickly, and it felt like a beans on toast kind of day. Warm, cosy food.

This afternoon, I had a go with the topical estrogen. It didn’t work quite the way I thought it would with the dilator, so tomorrow I’ll try the applicator that was provided. It certainly went in a lot further than it used to, so the surgery definitely did its job. I was glad I decided to it on a towel as I am still bleeding and had I not, I would have ruined a duvet cover. Admittedly only a rather unexciting one from Tesco, but still.

I then spent a good couple of hours writing four and half pages about yesterday. I really hope you enjoy all the detail. When I’d finished, I finally read this morning’s paper, and made the penultimate bauble. Just one left to go, for the tree to go in. It might have to be a special one because a) I have run out of outer bauble wool and b) the tree seems too big to fit in the same size as the rest.

I think it might be somewhat longer than I thought until I am back at the gym.

The 16th of November. 

Today has been bookended with busyness with a nice, serene chunk in the middle. 

It began with a quick visit to Black Sheep for Michaela to trim my fringe. We had to chop off a good couple of centimetres. I feel much better about it now, but I’m waiting for a couple of weeks before cutting the rest. Would like to only have the one cut before Christmas. When I was done, Mommy and I went down into Sutton. I needed some facewipes, but they only had one type in stock so I got those. I also looked at some stationery for when I start having to keep track of lots of bits of paper for homing. I need a new crochet notebook too but all of Paperchase’s ones are wide-ruled which I hate. I miss the stationery Borders had. That was the best shop. 

This afternoon I just crocheted. Four out of six baubles done. I’m pretty much immersing myself in Christmassyness because everything else is so dreadful . 

Tonight I was back out, as there was a Cats Protection committee meeting. Now I’m going to be homing officer, I’ll have to go to them. It was not like a Hallfield meeting, which we usually manage to get through in about an hour. This one took three. I learned a lot and it was good to meet the other people with major roles. I was ready to leave by half nine though!

The 17th of November. 

Another day of the same! The night was punctuated by Daddy throwing up again – the labyrinthitis has flared up for no discernible reason. Poor Daddy. 

This morning, Mommy and I went into Birmingham. The German market has arrived so I had to go and get my pretzel (and ended up with two), plus I got my two little glass figurines to go under my tree when it goes up. I got my other facewipes, and some more moisturiser, with the bonus of a charcoal scrub mask sample thing. I do love a free sample. 

We arrived home about lunchtime, at which point I ate both my sweet and salted pretzels which have left me still incredibly full. Then this afternoon I wrote about yesterday, caught up on some tv and did a bit more crochet. I’ll take the scarf with me to hospital tomorrow because I don’t have to count stitches on that. Not going to be working on teeny tiny Christmas trees. 

Then back out for an Old Hallfieldians meeting and our AGM. The weather was appalling and turnout wasn’t great, but it was important to be there as I missed the last meeting because my back was so bad. The highlight of my evening was actually my Uber home – I had the most fun driver, Delshad. We talked about the moon, conspiracy theories, how he thinks Jeremy Corbyn is an angel. He was just a joy.

Now I have to sort out all my stuff for tomorrow. I really hope I get through problem-free. Boris (my old Latin and RE teacher) is going to say a prayer for me tonight so maybe that’ll help.