The 3rd of April.
I am so tired. Not just physically tired, but mentally, I am exhausted. I had Zopiclone last night which worked, but I don’t know how much good it did.
Really, I feel like I am waiting for each day of the next three weeks to be over. That’s when my venoplasty is, but it by no means will fix everything. Well, it should fix my arm, but I’ve lost faith in its efficacy. I don’t know. Recovering from the pneumonia is really frustrating because improvements will be so incremental that I won’t even notice I’m getting better. I’m just hoping with every part of me that I’m not still needing oxygen at Machynlleth. Then there’s my back pain to deal with – I have an appointment at the GP to sort out starting the patches, which I really hope work because it hurts so much at the moment, I can’t even force myself to sit up straight. Then there’s my eye, no longer really causing me pain, but I can’t see out of it effectively – everything on that side is a blur. I haven’t got my follow-up appointment at the QE yet from when I saw the eye man in February so I need to ring up the consultant’s secretary about that. And let’s not forget the gynae issues that take up a chunk of each day too.
I have nothing in the diary to look forward to in the next few weeks either. I’m worried the heavy cloud will descend once more.
The 4th of April.
Slightly improved today. Not physically, but mentally. I had a terrible sleep, tossing and turning, so my plans of extra sleep are not going brilliantly.
Bad sleep has resulted in bad breathing, and even with 3 litres of oxygen, showering was quite the ordeal. It was not even that difficult in hospital, although that time I was not particularly active. Anyway, not an especially productive morning. Essentially, I got dressed.
This afternoon, I let Spike out for a little explore before his lunch, and we had a very pleasant time. I rubbed his belly lots and tried to take pictures, but he doesn’t stay still long enough. Mommy took Grandma out into Sutton, and I sat and finished crocheting the most recent doily while listening to episodes 4 and 5 of S-Town. It is such a sad, sad story, for everybody involved – I can’t think of a single person who is having what might be called a relatively easy life. And it’s so complicated, and I doubt it will all be resolved in the next two episodes. Much like the last two books I have read, with their unsatisfying endings. I need something wrapped up neatly in a box.