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Documenting not dying since October 2013.

The 15th & 16th; I want to be on my own.

The 15th & 16th; I want to be on my own.

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The 15th of May. I feel better today. I didn't have a nap, but I had a rest, and I don't know if it helped, but I am not exhausted this evening.

This morning, I wrote up a blog post, and got back to work on my jumper. I have just been doing the rounds of the body which is very mundane. I have to make sure I don't have a lapse in concentration though, or there'll be a hole in the body that I can't fix.

After lunch, I had a phone call from Sheila. It was because she'd done some online PetPlan training and at the end, she hadn't got a certificate. Honestly, I don't know why she phoned me, what did expected me to do or say...it was a handy reminder that I needed to do it though, because we're supposed to complete it by tomorrow.

Shaki arrived at about quarter to five with Dolly and her three kittens Dusty, Dot and Daphne. She had to pretty much drop and dash, so I know who's who and that's it. The kittens are seven weeks old, very cute, and friendly enough - I have been able to pet them. Dolly went from her carrier to under the chair and hasn't emerged since. I will befriend her.

The 16th of May.

I think I want a holiday. Part of me wants to go into hospital for a couple of weeks, but not be ill. Just spend two weeks in my pyjamas, listening to the radio, crocheting. I don't know why I feel like that's particularlu different from my normal life but it is. Maybe it's the isolation. I want to be on my own for a bit.

Today I haven't done much, even of the crochet. Been trying to bond with the kittens and mum, sitting in the back room, watching Scandal. Dolly has yet to venture out from under the chair in my presence. We know she's been out because she's pooed and we're pretty sure she's eaten, but only when no one is around. The kittens have bounced around, especially Daphne and Dusty. Dot hides a bit more, but she eventually comes out. I'm trying to pet them as much as possible, teaching them to like it.

They've also met Becky who came round to de-stress from SATs week. It seems there is so much pressure on everyone - when I was eleven, we did them, but they were marked in school because Hallfield is independent. Plus we'd been doing exams since Year 3 so it wasn't something we were unprepared for. I'm just glad I'm not a child now. Everything is fucked. 

 

The 17th & 18th; Like the Basilisk, but pretty.

The 17th & 18th; Like the Basilisk, but pretty.

The 13th & 14th; It just seems I flag.

The 13th & 14th; It just seems I flag.