The 9th of February. Today has not been the best of days to be a terminally ill person. At least I had a decent sleep. But with Richard Herring on Sunday Brunch talking about his new show called We're All Going to Die!, and then seeing Dallas Buyers' Club this afternoon, today's been a bit heavy on the old death front.

He did tweet me in reply to one of mine though, saying he hoped he didn't upset me. It was quite the opposite, really - I was glad he talked about it, as not enough people do. Plus he said my favourite things, and part of the reason for the name of my blog - that we are all made of stardust, and with the constant transfer of energy, one day I'll return to them. Carbon to carbon.

Dallas Buyers' Club is really, really superb. Jared Leto makes a pretty lady, and Matthew McConaughey is unrecognisable as Ron Woodroof. He's really brilliant. I nearly cried at Jared Leto's performance at one stage, but I held it in. My dad asked me what I thought of Ron Woodroof. I think he did what he felt was necessary, and I admire him for it.

The 10th of February.

Well I had what I thought was a terrible sleep, but my breathing has been better today so it can't have been as bad as I thought. I had to get up at 7am anyway so we could be at hospital for 10.

I needed to go to the photopheresis unit for them to take bloods before I have my line put in on Thursday. Have to be in ambulatory care at half seven and be nil by mouth from the night before. It's always more frustrating when you're not even having a general anaesthetic, it's just in case. Still, better to be safe than sorry etc. I'll just be hangry.

We got home just before a little rainstorm, and I spent much of my afternoon lying on my bed with my legs up against the wall because my feet are unusually puffy at the moment. They're normally a little bit swollen at the end of the day, but when I can't get my boots on or jeans off, there is a problem. I don't know what's causing it but I have some diuretics so that should sort it. If I get any more dodgy symptoms I'll go to clinic on Wednesday.

Taking a Zopiclone tonight.