The 17th of June. I took a Zopiclone again last night because my tongue was aching like crazy. Still woke up at half five because that is my life.

I worked out again this morning because I know I won't have time to tomorrow, plus I am going to consume approximately one zillion calories at Five Guys and Miller & Carter. I finished just in time for my ASOS delivery, only one item from which I am keeping. I also had a delivery of macarons from Dr. Tim! They are trialling delivery at Macarons & More and I was a guinea pig. I can confirm that they arrived intact, beautifully presented and testing even better than before which I didn't think possible! I've had the lemon, the salted caramel, and the vanilla so far.

Mommy and I went to town this afternoon because I haven't been for what seems like ages, and I got a dress from Oasis and a mascara. Selfridges are revamping or something and it's dreadful. The womenswear is split between the 3rd and 4th floors, all price ranges smushed together. It makes no sense and is utterly bizarre to try and navigate. I have emailed them about it.

When we got back, we tried to flush my line again (it's misbehaving) and it's just sucking things up and won't bleed. It won't even give back the saline immediately after you've pushed it in. It's a good thing I'm at the QE tomorrow.

I helped Becky decorate some cakes for her Grandma's birthday (my piping skills were in demand) and tonight I have painted my nails.

The 18th of June.

Holy fucking God I am so tired. Steroids are the worst. I've been awake since five am. I decided to get up at seven-ish because I was too hungry to stay in bed any longer. This morning I began as I meant to go on, as today was going to be terrible in terms of diet without question. I chopped up some dark chocolate and shoved it into a croissant which I subsequently shoved into my face.

I met Sadie for lunch at Five Guys at half twelve, which was less busy than I expected. A queue did form while we were there though so maybe we were just early? I ordered a hot dog with ketchup (I was afraid of going too fat-heavy) and she had a double bacon cheeseburger. We had a medium Cajun fries to share, but they were way too spicy for my lips to deal with so I only ate about two. I saw Alison Hammond and said hi (we've met a few times so she vaguely recognises me now), and Sadie and I caught up on each other's super-exciting lives. She has to write two chapters of her thesis by the 23rd, so today's hangout was a tiny break from work. I knew I needed to leave town by 2 as we were going to see the photopheresis nurses about my line before liver clinic, so we went across to Starbucks so I could get a mocha cookie crumble frappuccino at about quarter to (I said it was a bad diet day), then I went back to the car and off to the QE!

The nurses are completely befuddled by my line's behaviour, after having had a good go at it. They rang Ram and he wants it out ASAP, so I'm back tomorrow at 12.30 for someone to yank it out of my chest. Fun. Then we went to liver clinic, where we saw Philippa for the first time since before she went to have her baby! She showed us lots of pictures. We got in to see James very quickly and there wasn't much to say - just told him what had been going on with my mouth and skin, drug changes, sporadic bleeding and he checked that Andy Toogood had made the referral which he has. Apparently this gynae lady is the wife of one of the liver consultants who I think I've met only once but it's always good to have a connection. He wanted some bloods as I haven't had any proper ones done for about a month, so after he'd advised me against any more fried food, I went and got stabbed and we came home!

Tonight Grandma took us to Miller & Carter because Maureen and Audrey have come down to visit (she calls them "the girl" even though they are in their eighties), so I erred on the side of caution and ate a sirloin steak and a few sweet potato wedges but was generally terrible company because I am exhausted.

It is half past nine and I am going to bed.