The 21st of November. 

Out again tonight! Hallfield drinks though, so probably not quite as late a finish. Suzi was obviously excellent last night, and had a good support in Rose Johnson. Would very happily see her again. We hung out a bit before and after, and I met some of her other friends who I ended up in a group photo with, and which I will probably never see! I ended up sitting next to a lady who had many bags, and nervously introduced herself to me and the lady on her other side, proffering a hand to shake and much conversation. She had never heard of Suzi before, she just read about the gig in the Metro and thought it looked like fun. I checked at the interval that she was enjoying it and she was, then we ended up having rather a deep chat about whether she should buy these books from Amazon, why she liked the idea of a trilogy, and are we using material goods to replace other things in life, like fulfilling relationships or jobs? Well, in my case, neither a relationship nor a job are really a possibility, so I'm going to stick with the material goods.

I slept really badly again, and I'm starting to think my memory foam pillow might be the problem. I've done some Googling, and apparently synthetic pillows only last two or three years, and I've definitely had mine longer than that, so perhaps it's time for a new one? If I continue to not be able to get comfortable on it, I think I might have to treat myself. 

I've done a small amount of shopping today, placing one order, then not being sure about it. I phoned the customer service team, but they can't help me until Saturday at the earliest because that's when they'll be able to see the order on their system. That seems bizarre to me, but I digress. There's nothing I can do until then. 

After lunch and catching up on last night's I'm A Celebrity, I had my Dark Time, in which I did fall asleep a bit, then I went to watch Riverdale with the kittens. Blanche and Bramble sat nicely on my lap for the most part while Beatrice ambled around, not knowing where to go to sleep. Riverdale ended with Betty staring at a murder board, so naturally I'm delighted. She'll unravel the mystery. Now, very early dinner and off to the High Field!

The 22nd of November. 

Oh god, such a long day. I am never thrilled about a hospital appointment that means I have to get up before the heating come on. Today was epidural steroid injections in my spine, as a last resort to try to treat my pain. Well, actually, it's the last resort with the QE, because Dr. Gonzalez at the GP said she would refer me to the Royal Orthopaedic who have their own pain clinic and they might have other ideas. 

I was supposed to be there for eight, and even though we left just after seven (and it usually takes us about half an hour), an accident in one of the tunnels meant I was still late. Not that that mattered, because I didn't go down until nearly midday. As soon as I arrived, a woman who had been in the bedspace next to mine was saying "I've taken off my wristband and I'm going. I'm not being treated like this". We found out from the lady opposite me that she had been asked to take out her earrings (as is standard protocol) and she found this utterly unreasonable, so she was leaving! After that initial excitement, I got checked in pretty quickly, was given my DVT stockings, but then nobody came to see me again about my procedure until it was time to sign my consent, get changed and go. During the empty hours, I was glad to have taken my iPad to entertain myself, so I didn't waste my phone battery, and I made the judgement that Radio 2 is the worst radio station in the world. The music is horrific, the chat is dull, and the people who text in seem to be the type to read the Daily Mail. Today might have been a bad day, but I just found it all dreadful. People were defending Prince Andrew, for crying out loud. 

I was very happy to finally see Dr. Blaney at the end of my bed, so I signed the form, went off for a final wee (I wasn't sure what my legs would be like after the injections), got changed and hopped up on the bed. A couple of nurses took me down to theatre, where I rolled from my trolley onto the theatre bed, so I was on my front. My gown was undone, a lot of stuff was tucked into my pants to protect them, and I was ready. Lots of cold spray, then some lidocaine right in the base of my spine, at the top of my bum crack. Dr. Blaney told me everything he was going to do before he did it, so I was warned before he put the bigger needle in, and injected the drugs. I could feel the pushing and the pressure, but no pain. Then he put the dressing on and we were done! If I'm going to feel any difference, it will be within three weeks, but it could happen at any time. I'm not optimistic, but I just have to stay aware of how my body feels when I'm doing things that normally hurt. I asked him how long I had to stay, and he said once I was out of recovery and mobilising, I could pretty much go. 

Back on the ward, the nurses were told I had to stay for an hour, mobilise, and have a wee, but that was fine, because it meant I had time to eat a sandwich I was brought and a custard cream or two. I got changed back into my jogging bottoms (jeans would have been foolish), and twiddled my thumbs until it was time to go. I made sure I drank a lot of water so I could pee, because in the past after an epidural, it has taken hours and hours for my bladder to wake up, but today it was very speedy, thank god. I really did not want to be there any longer than necessary. On my way back from the bathroom, I saw the nurse who had taken me down to theatre, and I said I thought I'd ticked off all the boxes, so could I have my discharge paperwork please? She went off to organise that, and we finally left at about two o'clock. 

Once home, I had my afternoon drugs that I'd neglected to take with me on account of the fact that I thought I'd have been home earlier, then I made a small coffee because I'd been awake for far too long. Gave the kittens a squish, then Mommy and I caught up on some Junior Bake Off, while I looked online for a Christmas dress. I have seen quite a lot of dresses that I like, but unfortunately none of them would actually look good on me. Finally, I found one on Boden, but it was available in every size but mine! I decided to see if other stockists might have it, and I was very pleased to find it in Next and available to pick up in store tomorrow! Now I just have to pray that it a) fits and b) looks nice!