The 25th of November.

Christ, everything has gone wrong today.

It started off with an exasperating phone call about one of my Christmas presents that I've ordered, but I think we got my issue sorted.

On the way to hospital, my phone rang and it was Juliet, one of Mr. Kolli's registrars. They were worried about me because I hadn't come in on Friday to have the lens taken out. I was confused because I wasn't supposed to have it then, obviously, and we had talked about that. Turns out Mr. Kolli hadn't made a note in the diary, so on Saturday they'd been texting each other asking if they'd seen me and getting concerned. We established that I am going in on Wednesday, but I also asked if I could pop in after liver clinic and have my right eye looked at, because it was still being a problem. She said that was fine, and she was in all day so I could just come whenever.

Getting from the car park to liver clinic was a trial, because one of the car park lifts was broken, two of the four lifts in the main hospital that we needed to get to the link bridge were broken, and one of the lifts in the old hospital was broken. Absolute fucking nightmare. Anyway, once I got there, James called me through fairly quickly and he was very happy with the way I am behaving. Sent me off to have bloods done, which took forever. There was only one person doing them, and it seemed like everyone was being very difficult to bleed, so I didn't get out of there until twelve.

I was meant to be meeting Sadie at half past, so I was clearly going to be late. I texted her, and it seemed like things weren't going to be too bad, but then I was in the eye department forever.

I had to have my vision tested, even in the left eye, which was stupid because it was half taped shut with a fairly opaque lens in it, and sure enough I couldn't even tell how many fingers the nurse was holding up if she stood more than a couple of feet away from me. The right eye was okay - not as good as usual, but that's because it was incredibly irritated.

When I finally got to see Miss Edwards, she had a look at the right eye and found that yes, there was at least one major rogue lash poking in, plus a couple of smaller ones, so she whipped all of those out with some tweezers, then moved on to look at the left eye. There were a few lashes there too, but I couldn't feel them as the lens was in the way. She proceeded to examine that eye, shifting the upper and lower lids, and checking the pressures after putting some anaesthetic drops in.

Once the lashes were out, I felt so much better, and everything looked good with my left eye, so we went on our way with the view that I would come back on Wednesday to have Mr. Kolli take the lens out.

I was about to text Sadie and tell her I was coming, when I felt something in my left eye. Usually it is just a leaking tear, so I went to dab it with my finger, and I don't know if it was because it had been messed around with or maybe I touched it but couldn't tell because of the anaesthetic, but whatever happened, my finger came away with the lens on the end of it. Time to turn around!

I whizzed back down the corridor at top speed, past all the reception desks and straight back to the room I'd just left. I knocked on it, and thankfully she hadn't brought in a new patient yet, she was just biting into a sandwich. I sort of thrusted my finger at her and babbled. She took it from me, and I got back in the examination chair. Lots more looking up, down, left, right, eyelid lifting, yellow dye, and she established that the inflammation looked really quite good, but the lens had been quite tight so underneath had become rather dry. I have to do lubricating drops every hour. Upside is: no more tape on my face!

By the time I came out, I found I had a bunch of texts from Sadie, and I rang her to make a thousand apologies and agreed that she should go home because she was wet and cold and I felt absolutely hideous. I hate the idea of her sitting, waiting for me, and I couldn't tell her what was going on for a good hour because I was sitting having my eyes looked at (they're very thorough!) but she wasn't to know that, and in her position, I would have been getting massively pissed off. Anyway, I am going to make it up to her when we go and see The Muppets Christmas Carol at The Electric in December. I would normally go with Becky but that is not feasible this year, so Sadie and I will go and sing along.

Mommy and I still had to go to town, because we both needed to pick up parcels and I wanted to go to Foyles. First, we had lunch at Prêt (a cookie and a flat white), then she had to go to M&S and I needed John Lewis, so we split up. I got to the Customer Collect area, gave the guy the text message, and his tablet said the parcel didn't exist. He asked if I was sure I'd had it delivered there, so I checked the email, and yup, I'm a dumbass. It had just gone to the nearest store to me, which is the Waitrose in Four Oaks. Didn't think to check that, did I? What a dickhead. Another destination added to our journey home. I had more success in Foyles, adding to my stash of gifts. Mommy met me there, and we made our way back to the car. On the way, I got patronised by an old woman who I tried to offer the lift to before me, and she replied "But I don't WANT to go up, MY DEAR, I want the ESCALATORS but they're not working!" From that, I gathered that she actually wanted to get down to the station level, which she couldn't do in the lifts we were at, but then she decided she'd get in the lift anyway and I wasn't going to tell her my helpful information if she was going to be so rude.

Going home was much less interesting: we picked up my prescription from the GP, Waitrose found my parcel very swiftly, and I tried very hard not to fall asleep. My eye is now feeling very dry, and I'm just dousing it in drops. This is so hard to write.

The 26th of November. 

I feel like garbage. 

I woke up at 5am. This is unacceptable at the best of times, but I wanted to have a cosy rest day and this was not a good start. I didn't want to listen to the radio because right now it is just depressing, so I put some Christmas music on and I think I fell back to sleep a couple of times but not properly. I gave up and got up at about eight, I think. 

My eye has hurt all day, I think because it is so dry. I'm putting all the drops in, and I even tried ointment but nothing has helped. 

Ultimately, nothing good has happened, I am exhausted for no reason, and I can't wait for it to be bedtime.