Archives For advent

The 14th of December. 

I am so sleepy! I think it’s a side effect of the pneumonia jab – last night during Masterchef, I was working really hard to keep my eyes open, and again at Black Sheep today while I was getting my hair washed. Another early night tonight, methinks. 

This morning, after writing up a blog post, we took the kittens back to the vet for their first jabs. We got them all into the carrier without them really realising what was happening. They mewed all the way there, and continued while Bryn took them all out individually. Everybody is fine, and they seemed less upset by the needle in the neck today. 

After lunch, I was at Black Sheep to see James about making my hair white for Christmas. It’s actually come out grey, but I just need to wash it to make it right. That took a good few hours, then we went to Waitrose to pick up a John Lewis order, and the sorting office for a package I missed yesterday. Now I have all of my presents!

I don’t think I will be going to the gym tomorrow – my back, neck and shoulder hurt, and if I’m all sleepy, I don’t want to feel that in the gym. Fuck it, it’s Christmas.

The 15th of December. 

I feel really sad for no reason. Well, I know the reason – depression. It was there when I woke up this morning, and it has not abated. Tomorrow is my wrapping day and I need to find my festive spirit before I start. 

I really have very little to say. I’ve spent the day wanting it to be over, wanting to feel better. Not even the kittens have been able to cheer me up. 

That’s it. I’m not here today.

 

The 12th of December. 

I feel alright today, but it hasn’t been a great day as it was Keith’s funeral. 

This morning, I did another blog post so now I’m up to date, and rang the vet to get the kittens booked in for their first of of vaccinations. Hopefully when we have to take them, they don’t hide under the chair. 

We got to the church early and met Rosemary outside before going in to sit down. It was good timing on our part, as it filled up pretty quickly. Dr. Haydn from the liver team was sat behind us, and we smiled at each other in the awkward acknowledging way that one does at funerals. 

Funerals always make me think about my own. There was a lot of talk about heaven and the afterlife, as you’d expect. I don’t think I want the afterlife discussed – I don’t really believe in it. I don’t want there to be a place I go where I can see all my friends and family but not be with them. It sounds like utter torment. 

What got to me was what Gareth said will be playing at the crem, which is All I Ask by Adele, the last song they cried at together. Listening to it with the lyrics from Gareth’s point of view is heartbreaking. It we were going to the service on Wednesday, I’d be a wreck. 

We got home to find one of the kittens had done a wee in a place they weren’t supposed to. Nice. 

I will leave my heart at the door
I won’t say a word
They’ve all been said before, you know
So why don’t we just play pretend
Like we’re not scared of what is coming next
Or scared of having nothing left

Look, don’t get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is

If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I’m more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
‘Cause what if I never love again?

I don’t need your honesty
It’s already in your eyes
And I’m sure my eyes, they speak for me
No one knows me like you do
And since you’re the only one that matters
Tell me who do I run to?

Look, don’t get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is

If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I’m more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
‘Cause what if I never love again?

Let this be our lesson in love
Let this be the way we remember us
I don’t wanna be cruel or vicious
And I ain’t asking for forgiveness
All I ask is

If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I’m more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
‘Cause what if I never love again?

The 13th of December. 

Oh, today has been so much better. Apart from the start – I had the last of my post-transplant jabs (the ones I’ve been having approximately seven years late), the pneumonia one. I’ve had it once before, and I forgot how painful it is. I have a very sore arm tonight. Thankfully, it’s not the arm I sleep on. Also a woman came and sat next to me and she had a snotty tissue so I moved away because I didn’t want to catch her germs. I looked like a horrible person, but I don’t care, I really don’t want to get sick. 

Came home to have coffee and give the kittens second breakfast before going to the chiro. Trine gave my lower back a big stretch out, and found that I was really tense at the base of my neck. I’m not going to help myself either because on Friday I’m going to do my wrapping – sitting at a table for that long always causes me a lot of pain. 

From there, we had a trip into town to finish Christmas shopping and for me to get my wrapping stuff. I started off in Selfridges, then Superdrug (for things that were not presents), Foyles, Whittard’s and John Lewis. I met up with Mommy and we went up the German market so I could get a red sausage. A must, every year. 

On the way back through Grand Central to get my wrapping, I noticed Joe waiting for some food with a friend of his, so I went over and we had a lovely little catch up! Plus his friend Ben said I could get gold glitter wrapping paper in Tiger for less than Paperchase which was excellent! We did have to go to Paperchase anyway for tags and ribbon, where we bumped into Vicky and Laura, another delightful surprise! I have invited them round for kitten cuddles at some point over the next couple of weeks. 

At home, I fed the very hungry kittens, and have spent the rest of my afternoon writing my Christmas cards. I am getting very much into the festive spirit. 

The 4th of December. 

It is really easy to forget about how shitty the world is when you have got a pile of sleepy kittens to look at. 

A very weird start to the day, when trying to find out why Tim Lovejoy wasn’t on Sunday Brunch, I discovered that he has blocked me on Twitter. I’m not entirely sure what I have done to merit that, considering I don’t think I’ve ever tweeted him or even about him. Strange. 

Had both Becky and Alison round to see the kittens. One of Becky’s cats has eaten almost an entire two week supply of Penicillin, which is not ideal. High shelves are not a safe enough place to hide things. Our house is a haven of tiny kitties and Christmas spirit – I think Becky and I are probably the most festive people in the world. 

This afternoon, I finally made it back to the gym. I only did a ninety minute session, not too taxing because I haven’t been for at least two weeks so I’m definitely going to hurt tomorrow. Still, only place I have to go is to the hygienist, so it’ll be fine. 

I am now back home, having petted the kittens some more, and now Miracle on 34th Street is on. Normally I would consider it too early to be watching Christmas films but the world and his wife have got their tree up so it can’t hurt. 

The 5th of December. 

I don’t hurt as much as I expected to, which is a nice surprise. 

The kittens were absolutely ravenous this morning, but have subsequently done some tiny sicks. Well, two of them have. I have spoken to Jen to check on what they were eating and it’s the same, so obviously the move has just upskittled their stomachs. Still, that hasn’t made them any less cute; I put Pretty Kitty in my Christmas hat like a sleeping bag (I wanted to put one in a mitten but they won’t fit, ugh) and I took some super adorable photos. 

I did a couple of Cats Protection calls, trying to speak to one woman who has so far evaded me and got a call back from someone else. Right now there is only one fosterer with any cats that are available so I have to send all the forms to her. 

I only ventured out to the hygienist today. She was very taken with my festive scarf, jumper, earrings and necklace (I’m unbearable) and was very impressed with my dental health – gum score of zero again, well done me!

The 2nd of December. 

A decidedly less busy day. My body was still all awake last night so I didn’t sleep well, but I didn’t have to get up early so that was okay. 

This morning I got to have Buck’s Fizz marmalade on toast for breakfast, then I spent the rest of it writing about yesterday, which I still need to type up. I’ll do it after dinner tonight. 

I had to go and pick up a parcel from the sorting office, where there was a very long queue of people doing the same. Then on the way home, we went to Lee’s so Daddy could look at her kitchen light. I petted her kitties and Daddy took the lights apart. Unfortunately it was not a simple solution, and basically she needs a whole new fitting. 

We came home for lunch, then went to see Moana. It seemed like we were going to be the only ones there, then a family with three children under five came in and ruined it. The parents did try to keep them quiet so I didn’t get as annoyed as I might have. That film is really lovely (as is the short film at the beginning), and I only cried twice.

Daddy had collapsed the chair while we were watching the film, then when he put it back up, it hadn’t clicked into place so as I was driving out, it collapsed with me in it and I was so mad I didn’t speak to him for twenty minutes. He’s fixed it now. 

The 3rd of December. 

We had some plans today to go into town for a craft fair and some street food, but I woke up to a call from Shaki in a crisis. Jen had fallen and was in hospital with a broken collarbone, so someone needed to take her six six-week-old kittens while she was unable to look after them. 

Obviously I was only too happy to oblige. About an hour after talking to her, she was here with tiny balls of fluff and I fell in love. We don’t know what they’re called so I have named them ridiculous names – Derpy, Floofer, Boofer, Tiny Tim, Pretty Kitty and Kitty Purry (I know Katy Perry’s cat is called that bit she was the first one to purr so it seemed appropriate). 

So really, apart from eating and going out to buy the Christmas tree (not to put up yet, just to have before all that good ones go), I have not left the room with them in. They are just so CUTE, I have been sending photos to people all day. I could just sit and stare at them forever. 

The 30th of November. 

Blargh. You know how when one thing gets better, something else gets worse? My back has been really bad today, for no real reason that I can think of, and tomorrow will make it worse because I’m going to be my wheelchair for most of the day. 

Obviously, being in pain, I have not been very busy. This morning, I wrote up a blog post, and made the other two unicorn legs. He (She? Its name is Chablis) just needs assembling now  

After lunch, I did some Cats Protection stuff – I got to speak to a lady who liked one kitten who is now reserved with his brother, but I told her who is coming up soon and she seemed happy with that. Still couldn’t get hold of a different woman on the phone, and I’ve already emailed her, so today I’ve sent her a text and just hoping she’ll get back to me. Then I synced my iPhone (so tedious) and updated the music on my iPod so I can listen to it on the train tomorrow. 

We’re going to see my friend Will Barton in The Libertine and have some tasty foods. It’s going to be an excellent way to start advent. 

The 1st of December.

It’s advent! Be prepared for my unrelenting festive spirit all month. It’s been a very busy day, down to London and back, and next week we do it all again!

This morning seemed like it might be stressful because there were train issues between Wolverhampton and Birmingham International, but thankfully we were unaffected, so we arrived at Euston right on time. We were then supposed to pick up our tickets for the show before meeting Will for lunch, but the traffic was terrible so he got the tickets and we met him at Chop Shop. We all ordered steak (medium rare, natch), then got to talking. He told us a bit about the show and the guy it’s based on, and we talked about my parents’ lives working in theatres before they settled down. 

Will had to leave early to go and have his wig put on, so Mommy and I had coffee, then made our way over to the theatre. They let me in an accessible side door, and we took our seats in the stalls. We read the programme, and discovered a few other names/faces I recognised, like Will Merrick who was in Skins, Lizzie Roper who was in Hollyoaks and is one of the Aunt Bessie’s women, and Ophelia Lovibond who was in Guardians of the Galaxy. Everyone was really excellent and the show is so good – very wordy, funny, horrifically rude (if you’re easily offended, I wouldn’t recommend it) and made all the more fun by the presence of the (puppet) monkey and the dildo song. 

After the show, we went round to stage door to meet Will, and we climbed all the stairs up to Dominic Cooper’s dressing room because I have to prove that I can do things. By the time we got there, I needed to sit and breathe, but it was worth it because I got to see the very fancy room. 

Dominic was very lovely, but we didn’t have long because the cast were having Christmas tea. We talked about the show, and we had photos and they both signed my programme. Then we said goodbye, they went for their tea, and we wrapped ourselves back up to go out into the cold. 

We went to Fortnum and Mason, where I got my Buck’s Fizz marmalade and Mommy bought some florentines for Daddy, so now we don’t have to go there next week. I also got a cinnabon from the actual Cinnabon shop in Piccadilly Circus. We then very happily fell upon an available cab, and were taken back to Euston. 

While we chuntered home, I listened to the Elf soundtrack while reading New Scientist, then when we were actually at home, I had a Skype call from Christine. She had left her phone at work, and her work was on fire. Someone had set fire to Founders building at Royal Holloway, so we were talking while both looking at Twitter. Hopefully her phone is not burned to a crisp. 

The 30th of November. 

It’s been a long day. I didn’t sleep well, as anticipated. It didn’t help that I whacked my ankle on the wheelchair on the way back from the bathroom and it hurt quite a bit. 

Breakfast was good – I had surprise kippers (I love all smoked things, and kippers are the breakfast of champions), then we packed up and checked out. We had time to kill before going to pick up Taid, so we bimbled around Conwy. We randomly ended up spending fifty quid on chocolate in a Christmas shop, then we had a coffee before collecting Taid and going to lunch. 

We went to The Hayloft at Bodnant Gardens, and it was tasty foods! I had leek soup, then the roast beef. Taid is the slowest eater in the world. Mommy and I had nearly finished our meals by the time he’d only just started, and he likes to stop and witter about things I have no interest in (the direction of headlamps?) and I am much less tolerant of this sort of thing when I have a massive headache. 

We had time for a brief cup of tea before the long drive home. He did load us up with a load of stuff from the pantry, including glacé cherries that went out of date BEFORE I WAS BORN. 

The 1st of December. 

The first day of advent! My favourite time of the year. I am so excited for Christmas. I finished my shopping today, so I am feeling rather smug. Once it’s all arrived, I shall decide on my wrapping theme (the most important thing, obviously). 

I had to get up really early as I had an echocardiogram at ten to nine which meant travelling through Birmingham at rush hour time, always fun. They were running pretty much to time so we were done and out by twenty past. The scan itself wasn’t very interesting as I have to face away from the screen for the most part so I don’t get to see my heart. The technician said she’d write up the report so Igor will have it on Wednesday. 

We decided to go over to Solihull because my pal Mary from Chanel works in the John Lewis there now instead of Selfridges and I have to go to her for some of Mommy’s Christmas present (I’ve done so every year since 2008). It was really nice to see her. Got a Christmas nail varnish too – Phenix. 

It was lunchtime when we got home, so I had some soup, opened my advent calendar and ordered my last two Christmas presents. Now I’ve finished shopping, I can’t wait for Christmas even more because I want to give them!

The news tonight about Myles Bradbury’ sentencing has had me in tears. Not for him m obviously – he frankly ought to never leave prison. But I am sickened that he stood at the end of my bed as part of a team of doctors looking after me and was later the consultant of children I know/knew makes me feel physically sick. That he took pictures with a hidden camera in a pen…I just go cold. He’s no doctor, he’s not even a man.