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The 6th of July. 

I must have done something terrible in a past life. I am currently on my third attempt at backing up my phone after I dropped it on the bathroom floor and the screen cracked in innumerable places. It has landed there many times and finally my luck has run out. Smashed. 

Day started off okay. Hospital this morning for bloods before venoplasty. There was literally nobody in the waiting room which was very disturbing, like a horror film. Thankfully nobody had been murdered, it was just quiet. Trish gave me a stab in the elbow, then I asked about having the PICC dressing changed and the nurse who was around wasn’t signed off on that. She had to get Nicola to come and supervise, then they couldn’t find the butterfly dressing, then they found the last one in the treatment room. Thankfully we did get it done without the line coming out or being shoved too far in. Phew. 

To town! Mommy was having an eye test, and I needed to go to John Lewis because the jacket I bought last week is now on sale for £37 less than I paid, and as they are never knowingly undersold, I was after some money back. The lady on the till was fine with this, she just had to corroborate my story and was happy to put the cash back on my card. Hooray! Then I went to Piccadilly and waited for Mommy to finish her eye test. Had a chat with Jenny about frames but all the ones I looked at were wrong for me. Can’t change mine anyway, they are iconic. Mommy appeared, and Jenny got busy frame-finding. She’s so good, she knows exactly what they have and what will suit you. We settled on some soft rainbow Volte-Face ones, now the horrible wait for new specs! At least it is not me, I get so antsy. 

Got home, ate lunch, phone smashed. Since then, been at the iMac trying to back up the phone. This is my last go, then I’m going to throw myself off the roof if it doesn’t work. 

The 7th of July. 

My back is not going to thank me. I was up until past midnight trying to back up my phone to no avail, and the computer chair is not comfortable. I then spent most of my afternoon either in the wheelchair or the car, so all of that combined is probably going to mean pain tomorrow. 

When I got up, the last backup hadn’t worked, so I tried just syncing it, and I went downstairs to have breakfast and stuff, before going back to see what I could try next. However, when I returned, it had done a successful backup! I don’t really understand how, but frankly, I don’t care. 

I had my appointment at the Stormfront shop at 2.20, but when I got there, the chap said they couldn’t fix it in store; they’d have to send it off for 7-10 days. Um, no. My only option was to see if any slots had become available at other stores. Birmingham was a bust – next Friday. But Solihull had one at 3.40, so I took it and we got back in the car. 

Over at the Touchwood Centre, I checked in with one of the iPad people, then was waiting for my turn when I saw a face I recognised – it was Stuart Yeadon, who I have not seen for about ten years. I had no idea he was back in town, so when it was my turn, he came to take my phone and we had a wee catch-up. He said they could just get it done by the end of the day, so we had to go bimble until 5.45. This meant I spent money. I bought two crochet books and some pants and socks from John Lewis, a Krispy Kreme, and a jumper that was half price from French Connection. We also had a chat with Christine after her dentist appointment, and eventually it was time for us to go back. All had been fine, only the screen had been replaced, so none of the backup stress was necessary! Still, I am just happy to have it back. 

The 21st of October. 

Today has not been particularly exciting but I am hoping it will improve tonight as I will be out at The Glee seeing Joel Dommett!

This morning, Daddy took me into Birmingham so I could pick up my replacement phone and he could see what Apple have done to Taid’s old workplace (he worked there when it was the Midland Bank). He very much enjoyed their accessibility solution, and once inside, I sent him off to have a look around while I found someone who could help. I found a man with the right information, and I got taken to a table to wait for another person to bring me the new phone. He took the old one, erased it, put the SIM in the new one and we were done. Then I just had to wait for Daddy to resurface. 

When he finally did, we returned home, and after lunch I went upstairs to restore the phone from the backup. Thankfully it didn’t take a ridiculously long time, so when it was done I still had time to call the vet and book the kittens and Amy in for chipping and neutering, then the adopters of three of the kittens so I can meet them before the actual adoption. I’ve now just had Sheila on the phone and she’s trying to convince me to take on the homing officer role. I’ll think about it. 

The 22nd of October. 

I’m really sleepy, so much that I am wishing the hours to bedtime away. I got in quite late because the gig ran over by about twenty minutes, mainly because of heckling by a twat called Rob, and he (Joel, not Rob) hung around afterwards for photos and chats so I had one of each – he actually recognised me from Twitter and is proud to join the illustrious group that is my cool gang of comedy pals. I also got recognised in the toilet by a girl who was at the gig on Wednesday, and she asked how my popcorn lung was. My level of fame is rising. 

Becky came round this morning (having given me enough notice to allow time for me to get dressed) and we had a good chinwag. Her cats, my cats, her school, my latest medical fun, her brothers, and my phone saga. We went to see the kitties and I passed them all to her one at a time for pets. They were all very well-behaved, and now I’ve got Shari coming back on Tuesday to see Angelica and Alfie again. This afternoon, I have been reading the Saturday Guardian and crocheting while catching up on recorded tv from last night. I might have to undo what I’ve made today because I used a wool I am unhappy with and as it’s a gift, although the recipient won’t know, it will bother me. I’ll see how it looks partially stuffed and then decide. 

The 17th of October. 

Today has been a pile of garbage. 

I’m still really achy, and was not thrilled at the prospect of sitting in my wheelchair much, but I didn’t think I’d be at the Women’s Hospital too long so it would be okay. How wrong I was. 

I arrived in colposcopy clinic at 11:15, but wasn’t seen until about 12, when Sue had come up and intervened (of her own volition; I didn’t even know she was coming). A nurse called me through, and we went to a room where I met Miss Byrom, and Sue and the two nurses were there too. We had a very brief chat about my problem, then it was jeans and pants off time. I put a gown on, and got into the very undignified position in the stirrups. On the ceiling were some pretty flowers, but I was far more interested in the screen with a big picture of my vagina on it. Miss Byrom attempted to insert a very small speculum, but it wouldn’t go in. There is some kind of obstruction, adhesion, like I had some sort of injury which has healed incorrectly. We have no idea what’s happened, but at least we have an explanation as to why I can’t be examined, and why I got nowhere with the dilators. So I’ll have to go back to be put under anaesthetic and my vagina will be “opened up”, to put it politely, and I’ll finally have a smear!

I then got taken to pre-op, where I waited for a good forty-five minutes before we even started. An auxiliary nurse did my height, weight and blood pressure, and I didn’t need an ECG because they have a recent one on file. Then back to the waiting room until a pre-op nurse could see me. 

I read some more of The Bone Clocks (I have made a great deal of progress in it today), and eventually a nurse came for me. We went to her room, and we had to go through all the usual questions. They had a lot of my information from my GA for the coil last year, so I gave her a potted version of my history, then made sure she had an up to date drugs list. She gave me several leaflets about GAs and preventing DVTs and PEs, then I took some blood forms off to the phlebotomist. That turned out to be the auxiliary nurse from before, poor woman, having to do multiple jobs. She said “That’s the NHS for you” and I said “That’s Jeremy Hunt for you”. Anyway. I finally got out at 3, and found Mommy in the car park who was very very bored and cold and hungry. 

Christine rang Mommy’s phone but we missed the call, then I rang her back to find that she’d tried to ring me but couldn’t get through, so we decided that when we got home, I’d back up my phone and tomorrow we’ll go to the Apple shop first thing. She’d actually phoned to complain about how the boiler people are a bunch of incompetent bastards and she won’t have any hot water until the end of the week, the second one of this saga. 

When we got home, we both ate lunch, then I went upstairs for an hour and a half to back up my phone. I couldn’t bear to sit for that long, so I lay on Christine’s bed with the electric blanket on to try to ease my back a little and listened to podcasts. It’s done now, and I’m looking forward to sleep. 

The 18th of October. 

Awake so early. Needed to be at the Apple shop for 9 to be able to see someone about my phone’s incoming call/text situation. I wasn’t first in the queue because being in the wheelchair, people walked past me into the shop while I had to wait for someone to activate the lift. Still, there were only a couple of people ahead of me, and the chap organising the Genius Bar said I’d be waiting about half an hour. He said I could leave and come back but there was no point, so Mommy went to Faculty to get me a coffee while I twiddled my thumbs. 

A guy came over about half past nine to hear about my issues, which I duly explained. He ran diagnostics and because of what I’d told him, he was happy to replace the phone once he’d checked it for any secret damage. That was all grand, except that they didn’t have any in stock, so I am awaiting an email to let me know one has been delivered. He has to say 10-14 days, but it’ll apparently be more like 5. 

Once finished my we went to Hotel Chocolat where I bought a Chocolate Yumpkin, and Boots for lip balm and some man tissues for Daddy before coming home. 

We had lunch and watched the new episode of Criminal Minds (so exciting I cannot explain), then Mommy ferried Grandma back and forth to Fellowship while I crocheted bits of the current project. 

The kittens were booked in for their first lot of jabs at 5, so we bundled them and Amy into the carriers to take them to the vet. It surprisingly easy to get them in, and there was no crying on the way. Lydon’s was full of dogs which I loved, but the cats were not so keen. I set the carriers facing each other so they were slightly comforted by that, and I crouched next to them. I took a lot of pictures of all the dogs but I didn’t pet any of them because I didn’t want the cats to smell them on me. 

When it was our turn, we started off with Amy, and she was good until it was time for the needle, at which point she spun round and hissed while the syringe was still in her neck. She was only too happy to go back in the carrier. All the kittens were really good; nobody hissed or scratched or bit, they were all just a bit wriggly. 

Back at home, I took a parcel that had been delivered to us next door, so I got to meet new neighbour Richard, who (it turns out) actually follows me on Twitter! He saw me in the Sutton Observer a while ago. Who knew we’d become neighbours? I also saw George again who was not poorly but he was a little bit grumpy because nursery had made him tired. I couldn’t stay long, because we had a lady coming to look at kittens and we needed to eat dinner before she arrived. 

I showed her Archie, Alfie and Angelica, as they’re the available ones. She really liked Alfie and Angelica  which is good because at least she’s got one who’s relatively confident. She asked all the right questions and I’m really happy with her as an adopter, so once the kittens are ready, she can have them!

The 27th of September. 

Well my legs are okay but my arms hurt a lot. Reaching for stuff is very painful. Thankfully I don’t need to do that much. 

This morning we went into town. It started off just being to get birthday cards for Christine, but other things were added on. Face wipes were on offer and I needed some more, plus I got a free gift of some bath stuff which will probably go to a raffle in Boldmere Court. Mommy needed some Christmassy fabric so we went to John Lewis, and I bought some festive wool because I couldn’t not. Then I went to Foyles while Mommy picked up some train tickets, but I did not but any books! The new Apple shop has opened on New Street in the old Waterstones/Midland Bank so we went to have a look, mainly to see if they’d made it wheelchair accessible. Yes, they very much have! One of the steps is actually a lift – you park on a panel, one of the steps slides in underneath the top one, and you are lifted into the store. It’s super cool. Inside it’s very spacious and airy – I could move around without having to say “Excuse me” every two seconds, and accessories area downstairs is just lovely. I particularly enjoyed the drawers full of phone cases in the wall; that is an excellent storage solution. Then we returned home because it was lunchtime and I was starving. 

This afternoon I have done lots of crocheting, and we finally watched last week’s Hunted. I do not think I would fare well on that programme. 

The 28th of September. 

Arms are much better today – I could even lift the hairdryer!

This morning I caught up with last night’s debate, and to me it seems obvious that Hillary just destroyed Trump. I am concerned that his supporters just don’t care and are determined to elect him no matter what terrible things he says or how unprepared he is, and I want to shake them all by the shoulders and say “You can’t do this to us!” because it will affect the whole world. If he becomes President, there will be armageddon. 

After lunch I had a jolly time sitting at the computer. I needed to plug in and update my classic iPod with recently downloaded music so I can listen to it on the train, now that I can’t charge my phone and listen to music at the same time unless I get Bluetooth headphones. I also cleaned out all the duplicate photos in my library which was tedious but necessary. Christine phoned while I was doing it though, and that made it slightly more bearable. 

This evening I went to The Dragon Inn in town to meet a chap from the Elis James and John Robins Podcast Devotee Facebook group. He’s going to their gig which I am also attending, and has Asperger’s, so he wanted to meet some people beforehand so it was less stressful. It was slightly awkward but we had enough in common to hold a good conversation for an hour and a half. By half seven, nobody else had turned up which may have been a blessing in disguise, so I got an Uber home in time to watch Bake Off!

The 8th of February. 

Got up very early for Apple Store trip, despite us not being sure if we would go – it depended on what the weather was doing. Thankfully, it wasn’t too bad, so we set off, but found it was getting rather damp by the time we arrived. The shop was fairly empty when we got there, just a couple of customers, so we went in and a chap told me to join the queue consisting of one man. When it was my turn, the man took my details and was very pleased that I’d brought a copy of my receipt with my serial number on it. He said it was fine to just replace the mouse, I just had to wait for maybe 15 minutes for an iMac technician to do it. As soon as I had moved out of the way, I saw the enormous queue that had materialised behind me, and suddenly felt rather smug. A small boy in said queue with his mother seemed to give up on life and just lay on the floor. An iMac man ambled over, we had a brief chat and he ordered a new mouse to come down for me. Then I signed the iPad and we were done!

To kill time, we went to buy a birthday card and have a coffee in Pret (which was surprisingly not too disgusting) before going over to the dental hospital. It was then chucking it down so on the short journey from the car to the front door, I got very wet legs and feet. My knees were so soaked, I went to the toilet, put each foot up on the counter and dried them under the hand dryer.

In the waiting room was an older couple, a man who was waiting for his wife and a man with his father. The younger man was bouncing his knees up and down and tapping his heels in the floor, his wet trainers squeaking. Needless to say, it was incredibly annoying. I was trying to formulate a way to ask him to stop when a woman came in with her mother. She clearly wasn’t in any sort of mood for this, so told him to stop which he did, but then he and his father laughed. She did not find it funny, and it very quickly escalated into an ever so Jeremy Kyle-esque row, only stopping when the lone man told them off in a very impressive manner. The two women got called in, and he started doing it again, so I just looked him in the eyes, then very pointedly at his feet. He stopped. Once they were gone too, we talked about how we were all just staring at our books while it was going on. So awkward. 

After all that, we saw lovely John who asked me all the standard questions, had a look and said my mouth looked the best he’d ever seen! All very pleasing, back in six months!

The 9th of February. 

I had a really weird night, dreaming I got stuck in a tomb. I managed to wake myself up, but it was very unpleasant. However, I was delighted to find out that a match has been found for Lara! Quite incredible, someone that could well have signed up because of her, and now hopefully she will go for transplant in March. I’m quite thrilled. 

I got dressed in gym clothes – I knew if I didn’t, I just wouldn’t bother going this afternoon. This morning I was in my own for the most part, watching TV and working on the bloody paddling pool for the doll. It is somewhat of a palaver – I will only be doing the most necessary of accessories for the next sets of kit. 

After lunch (and the final piece of brownie, sob), I went to the gym for the first time since the end of October. I didn’t feel up to the stairs, so Tom let me in at the lift entrance, and quickly showed me how they’d moved stuff around. I went through my old routine, doing either the same weights and fewer reps, or the next level of weights down. I basically did how I expected, so I’m not disappointed. It is what it is. I was rather trembly by the end. My legs already hurt a little so I’m sure I’ll be walking like a cowboy tomorrow. Very glad I’ve got nothing on. 

The 4th of February. 

I fixed the crochet that was upsetting me. That’s the first thing. 

Second thing is I went to the GP to chat about the fluid in my hand. It’s only in my left hand, doesn’t make sense. He didn’t say much. Felt my hand, suggested I take my bracelets off. There isn’t much to do because it isn’t inflamed. I suppose I just have to watch it, see if it gets worse? Blah. 

It’s #WorldCancerDay today. It’s difficult for me – I have a lot of mixed feelings. No doubtedly it fucked up my life good and truly, but a lot of really incredible things have happened that wouldn’t have otherwise. I have no idea what my life might have been like if I were healthy, it could’ve been utterly dreadful. 

I’m also incredibly grateful to the places I was treated and the treatment I had. My donors, too. However, I resent them for not being quite good enough to fully fix me. I know I shouldn’t be bitter but it’s hard when I see so many other people who got through it scot-free. 

I suppose I just feel like I can’t put it behind me, like it’s never over. If it came back in another form, I wouldn’t be surprised. The amount of oestrogen I’ll go through in my lifetime could certainly cause me problems of nothing else does first. 

I suppose I’m just scared. I’m afraid to try and make a life in case it gets taken from me. 

The 5th of February. 

It has not been an especially busy day. 

I managed to get my own breakfast and coffee this morning, which has made me hopeful for my return to the gym next week. 

The majority of my day has been spent crocheting the lilo for my crochet doll to lie on (yes I know). I took a break after lunch for Mommy and I to go out to town so I could take my Bluetooth mouse into the Apple shop. It was my first trip in the courtesy car we’ve been given while they fix the minor bit of damage that was done the other week when Mommy scraped the car outside Black Sheep, and as soon as I got in I was hit with a wave of smell from the bubblegum air freshener. It’s awful. The mouse is still under AppleCare so they should just replace it. However, for them to do that, I need an actual appointment, and to get one today, I would’ve had to wait three hours. I’m at the dental hospital on Monday anyway, so we’re going to go into town early and go to the Apple shop first thing, so hopefully I can get sorted before I go to see Mrs. Richards or one of her minions. 

We also had a brief trip to John Lewis to get a 2mm and a 5.5mm crochet hook for other projects within the book. I’ve been through it and checked that those were the only ones I’ll need. 

I’m going to have to text Shaki; I want more kittens!

This photo was taken just after I had a tumour that was in my face biopsied in 2008.

The 10th of November.

I feel better tonight. I think last night I was just really run down and needed another big sleep. And I haven’t felt at all lethargic today like I did on Saturday.

Today was mainly based around car things. Becky hobbled over after her walk (physio) and we talked about all of the things her mum has found for her to do while she’s off work despite her master’s and lesson planning being slightly more important.

This afternoon, Daddy dropped Mommy and I off in Sutton so I could get some more wool and collect some jumpers, then we killed time until he picked us up and we all went to the enterprise garage to pick up the courtesy car, which is basically the same as our one that got smashed.

This evening I have picked back up the scarf I was on when I ran out of wool (not long to wait now, Lauren!) and I got over excited about Mark Velangi being on The Chaplains next week. Squealed out loud.

The 11th of November.

Today has been a good day apart from some sudden breathing difficulties but I’ve done my inhaler and am having some oxygen and I feel a bit better.

This morning, Mommy and I were both at the chiro and with me having had a dreadful cough for a month and Mommy having had a car accident two days ago, we gave Trine a nice challenge! My neck was particularly traumatic; there was wincing.

We went into Sutton afterwards so I could return some shoes to Topshop and two jumpers and a cardigan to House of Fraser. I also needed another lightning cable and cable clips because the ones I use by my bed have a habit of breaking. Furthermore, I wanted a Greggs Christmas pudding doughnut (it’s a chocolate filled doughnut with some chocolate icing and a white bit with holly leaves so it’s essentially festive). It was very nice but very sweet. I do not need another one.

This afternoon, I’ve finished Lauren’s scarf, caught up on TOWIE and flipped through hair magazines for inspiration for when I get it cut and coloured on Thursday. Randomly saw Roseanna in one of them which she didn’t know about.

An exciting addition to our London trip on Sunday/Monday has happened but I want to keep it a surprise.

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