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The 17th of November.

Most of today, I have stayed sat in the armchair in fear, because twice when I got up, my chest hurt. I did not enjoy that, so I decided to avoid moving unless absolutely necessary. Thankfully, I have just tested myself and it felt alright.

So this morning, I fell back to sleep after my alarm went off, then I was woken up by some Bach on Desert Island Discs. Got downstairs and had to write up yesterday because I didn’t have time last night. Once that was done, I settled down in my chair to get working on Hank the Dorset Down Sheep.

And he has been my activity of the day! I left my chair to give the kittens lunch and go to the bathroom once, then I stayed put with my wool. I have made his head, body and two legs! Now my eyes are hurting but I only have prednisolone eye drops which don’t work as well as the dexamethasone, which I have run out of (unless I want to induce more agony with preservative). Not sure what I’m going to do until Monday.

The 18th of November.

Another day of much the same, but for slightly different reasons.

I got up when my alarm went off, and already my back was clunking. It has not improved as the day’s gone on, so I have stayed in my chair, trying to not be in pain. However, that hasn’t done me much good, and this evening I am unable to find a position that is comfortable.

I couldn’t watch Saturday Kitchen because Pixie Lott was on it, and I simply can’t bear her. So I put Bones on instead and got through two of those while I wrote up a late blog post, then made Hank’s other two legs. Plus I had tweets from Heidi that the crocheted item I made for her has arrived and she is very pleased, so I feel good about that.

After lunch, I made his ears and tail, then it was time to assemble him. Without his coat though, he is not cute. The rest of my afternoon, once he was put together, has been spent creating his woolly jacket. He’s not done, but I finished a ball of wool and that seemed like a natural place to have a rest. Currently it looks like he has a lovely vest on. I shall complete him tomorrow!

The 13th of November.

Sleep was not actually that bad, although I did wake up so cold, I had to drag my blanket over myself. I have the double thickness duvet on my bed now for winter, so hopefully tonight I’ll be toasty.

This morning, I went out with Mommy to do some shopping errands. First, we went to Aldi, because they have some decent crackers (Christmas, not Jacob’s) and are selling a cheap version of wool I like. Next, M&S for a pretzel and chewing gum (this was really just a bonus rather than a necessary trip), then we went to Boots so I could get a body brush to try to help my skin, circulation and lymphatic system.

After lunch, I have been sat with the crochet. My back hurts more than usual today – it’s like I’m having a delayed reaction to all the driving on Saturday. Every time I get up, I groan, like I am ancient. So I’ve sat watching The Blacklist, and just had to undo and redo an entire section of crochet because I wasn’t paying enough attention.

The 14th of November.

I forgot how heavy the double duvet is. Took me ages to get comfortable underneath the weight. It’s super warm though.

Today has not involved a great deal of excitement. This morning I used my new body brush thing and all the unsupported sitting made my back unbearably painful, so much so that I couldn’t finish moisturising afterwards, and I had to get Mommy to help do my legs. I’m not sure it’s ever been so bad that I couldn’t do what I needed to. Found out today that Dr. Antrobus has actually left (not ideal), but he had written my letter before he did, so it can get sent on to Dr. Blaney who can do the bloody steroid injections!

Afternoon was more of the usual – Bones, The Blacklist, crochet. Made another irritating mistake by being distracted. Nearly finished this project now – might get the last bits done tomorrow, but I’m seeing Vicky for sick person chats so we’ll see.

I am seeing Joe at The Glee tonight, which is going to be much fun. Distraction from life garbage.

The 30th of October. 

Another dodgy night – I think it’s because of the change in temperature. I had to drag my blanket over my duvet at one point because I was so cold. 

This morning, I did a lot of writing, before going and saying hello to the new tiny screamers. Bless little Callie, she just sits there looking at the other two, baffled. She does mew, just much more quietly. She’s so cute. Then I finished the accessory of the Christmas crochet so now that is 100% complete! Next I’ve got a decorative set to do, and two more presents. 

After lunch, I had an appointment at the hygienist. Thankfully it was Sandra, my usual one, so I had a much more pleasant experience than last time. We had a conversation about how we’re both already looking at Christmas jumpers, and she has given me a couple of toothpaste samples that are apparently not minty, so I shall give them a try. It would be nice to use an adult toothpaste. 

While I was in with her, Christine (who does Andrew’s appointments) rang and I am seeing him about my numbness next week. Hurrah!

The 31st of October. 

My back is dire this evening. I’m not even safe in my comfortable chair now. God, I sound ancient. But I saw that my immunology bloods are back now so hopefully Dr. Antrobus will talk to Dr. Blaney and he will just give me the steroid injections. I am desperate. 

I was at the chiro this morning where Trine did her best to stretch it out but she can’t alleviate the pain. She did some work to my neck to loosen some of the muscles that might be partly responsible for my numb arm, but my joints are all fine. Nerve conduction studies seem to be the way to go. 

This afternoon, I have been crocheting while watching season 2 of The Blacklist. Currently making Christmas gnomes. Also obviously lots of kitten petting. I have found one position that I can sit them in that makes them stop screaming. I just feel bad that I can only get them out one at a time! Not for much longer – we can flea spray them this evening, then in two days they can run around all they want.

 

The 10th of September. 

Today has not been so terrible, in terms of pain, but I have still felt pretty shit all day. 

I’m still tired, from not sleeping properly due to pain, so I got up just before the start of Sunday Brunch and got dressed in a cosy jumper and leggings, because the weather demanded it. 

I have, again, not moved a great deal, but also have not crocheted at all because I just can’t concentrate. I thought, after lunch, that I might need a nap, so I went upstairs to lie down. I put on a podcast, curled up and closed my eyes, but I did not fall asleep. This is good; it means I am not ill! Just feel shit because I’m tired and in pain. Preferable. 

After coming downstairs from my rest, I watched three episodes of Bones that had appeared overnight, and tried some Hugo petting. I forced him on to my lap and stroked until my arm was tired. He must learn to enjoy it. 

The 11th of September. 

Another early start, but for a good reason. I met up with Adam this morning, because he’d come up to the QE to talk to some of the nurses about stuff Dean wanted to do. It was really good to see him and give him a big hug in person, as opposed to verbally via direct messages on Twitter. We talked about how it had been in the last couple of weeks, and at the end, and his incredible appearance on Victoria Derbyshire. How he’s coping, how I am. There are things that are being planned in his name that I am looking forward to seeing. His legacy will live on. 

He had to get going up to YPU, and I had to go home for lunch before my chiro appointment. Trine has managed to make me feel some relief – it appears one of the muscles on the right side of my back had gone into spasm and travelled all the way up (or down, I’m not sure which end it started) which meant all of that side was contracting. No wonder I was in pain. She managed to work some of it out, while I gritted my teeth. Thankfully it hadn’t transferred into my neck, so I just needed some ice pack treatment when I got home. 

Since then, I have crocheted some mice for the kittens to play with. Henrietta has appropriated an old one which is incredibly tatty, so now they have some more that aren’t falling apart. 

The 8th & 9th; So much pain.

September 11, 2017 — 9 Comments

The 8th of September. 

Ooh it has been a long day! I was up super early to be at the dental hospital for my half nine appointment, which I was called in for only half an hour late, so I got a bit of book read. It was a student clinic, so I was examined by one girl, while one typed and the other one observed. There’s not much to see in my mouth at the moment, so it was a pretty quick examination, then the longest part of the appointment was waiting for the consultant to come. To pass the time, we talked about what we’ve all been binge-watching on Netflix. He eventually appeared, had a look and agreed that my mouth is in excellent shape (take that, Amy the hygienist) so don’t need to go back for six months! Let’s hope I actually get a letter. 

We got home about eleven, and I had time to write up a blog post before it was lunchtime. I was in the middle of eating my grapes when the doorbell rang, and it was Carol! We were expecting her, she was just a little early. No matter! We then had a lovely afternoon catching up, eating cake and discussing our various crafty projects. We hadn’t even noticed when it got to six o’clock, but she really had to make her way home then, so that is all that has happened! Much, much chat. Exhausted now. 

The 9th of September. 

Oh god today has been horrific. So much pain. No reason. At some point in the night, something happened, and I became unable to turn over or lie flat on my back. Well, I could turn over, but it was agony. I couldn’t get my back flat without bending my knees. So it wasn’t a good night. 

I’ve spent most of the day unable to move, so I’ve been able to finish the doily I’ve been making. Only left my chair to go to the bathroom, to eat dinner, and when Shaki came to impart kitten wisdom. When I have got up, I made such an awful cacophony of noises. Absolutely dreadful. I am so grateful I have a chiro appointment on Monday. Trine will have things to crunch. 

Nicole and Richard came round to drop off some cat paperwork, and they met the floofs. Shaki came at about five and spent nearly two hours coaxing Hugo into being petted. It involves lots of playing, treats, and basically stroking him until he relaxes. We also have to feed him inside the cage again. And we have to try stroking Henrietta when she’s eating but I’m going to leave that to Mommy because I’m pretty sure I’ll get shredded. 

By teatime, I was ready to cry. Fuck this body. 

The 23rd of August. 

Another disastrous night. I seem to be incompatible with sleep right now – it might be time for Zopiclone again. 

Not a great deal to report today. This morning, I had a bit of kitten fun time before writing up a blog post. That took considerably less time than Monday, because I used a different app to upload the photos. Mommy and I had chiro appointments, so went out at half past twelve to be stretched and crunched. There was a lot of tightness in my lower back, probably from my long days in the wheelchair in the time between visits. I can’t wait to see the pain man again. Steroid injections please. 

Came home, had lunch, checked on kittens. Mommy went to Grandma’s, and I spent a couple of hours writing, then watched the season 3 finale of Buffy, realising the similarities between the Mayor and Trump. It would not surprise me if he wanted to become a demon. 

The 24th of August. 

I had Zopiclone and it was good. I slept until half past nine, and this morning I did some kitten petting – Henrietta didn’t hiss at me, and she even gave Mommy a friendly headbutt! Definite progress. Denise is coming round this evening to meet them and pick up paperwork, and Penny is coming home this weekend so she’s coming to meet them too. 

This afternoon, I had a hairwash, which will hopefully stop the green rubbing off on my pillowcase, as I discovered was happening last night. I had a quick look at my copy of James Acaster’s Classic Scrapes which arrived from Amazon, and I am very much looking forward to seeing him again in the autumn. Since then, I have been finishing off the doily, which now needs starching or something, to look how it’s supposed to. 

Sorry for the lack of words. Life is pretty banausic right now. 

The 7th of August. 

Still some pain today, but not quite as much. I had a decent enough sleep, but I’m still tired too. Too much activity for me for one day; my body is taking its time to recover. I’ve got very little on this week, just respiratory clinic and we’re back down to London this Saturday to do it all again. I will, at least, not have a gig to go to, so I can just rest when we get home. 

I spent most of my day working on blog posts, typing up the 3rd to the 6th, then uploading all the photos and culling the shit ones. Got to decide if I take my camera again this week, or if I take a different lens. We’re sitting in a different place so I need to work out what we’ll be able to see. 

I think I finished about half two, then I made two more squares of blanket while watching some more Glow. I’ll have to lay them out to work out how many I’m going to have to do. 

Tomorrow, I think I’ll stop the pregablin. A week of the double dose has done nothing but make me sleepy, burpy and hungry. The hunger is fucking me up because part of anorexia recovery is learning to feed yourself when you’re hungry, but now I’m having to ignore the hunger, tell myself it’s just the drug, and it’s so confusing. 

The 8th of August. 

Back to pretty much normal levels of pain today. I’ve binned off the pregablin because it has done fuck all for two weeks. I’ll be going back to see Dr. Blaney and we’ll discuss steroid injections. Stupid spine. 

Today has just been crocheting squares for the blanket. I did two or three this morning, in between visits to the kitchen to check on baking progress, because we made chocolate, ginger and sesame cookies and chocolate cupcakes with coffee frosting filling. 

After lunch, had a quick hairwash (very little colour is left in my hair now), then Mommy went to Grandma’s and I got back to crocheting. I’ve now got sixteen squares and I watched all the daytime crime dramas Sky Living has to offer. I think I’ll do four more and see how it looks. I don’t want the baby to grow out of it straight away!