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The 11th of May.

I think I have caught up with all my sleep now. I’ll be out a bit late tonight seeing Suzi and Angela Barnes at the Glee, but it won’t be anything as late as Sunday.

This morning, Mommy had had to go out before I got downstairs, so I had to endure the pain of making my own breakfast. That sounds trivial, but my point is that my back is so bad, it’s agony to stand up for even a few minutes. Fucking discs. Thankfully, she got back in time to help with coffee.

I also had a very productive phone call with EE. Daddy had shown me some deals that Virgin have on SIM-only phones, and when comparing to mine, I realised I was on quite a shit plan. I was paying £20.99 a month for what Virgin charge £9 for. So I called them up and said I wanted a better deal, and now I’m getting 4gb of data (which is enough for me), unlimited texts and calls for £9! Very pleased with myself.

After lunch, I went to the gym. It’s a good ten days since I last went, so I’m expecting to hurt tomorrow. My arms were certainly protesting after less time than usual, so I’m not looking forward to the pain. I had to stop a bit earlier than I might have, because the after-school youths arrived and their body spray was overwhelming.

The 12th of May.

Ugh, my left eye is being irritating and I am supposed to be going out later which will require mascara so I really hope it calms down in the next hour or so. I probably could have done with a bit more sleep but I didn’t get to bed until about midnight and nine hours is not enough for me. My body is rubbish; it requires a lot of rest.

Today has been uneventful. This morning, I pootled about in my pyjamas, drank my coffee and received some wool in the past that I’m going to use for my next jumper.

And after lunch, that is what I started on. A few more episodes of Scandal, and the first eight rounds of said jumper. I’ve only got two more episodes of season 6 left, but Christine is here and she’s a few episodes behind me, so it wouldn’t be very fair of me to ruin the ending for her.

Anyway, I’ve got to eat dinner and get changed before we go out and write a card. But I am so tired.

 

The 25th of April.

My back was a bit sad this morning but I can’t take that to mean anything yet. I’m going to give it a week, then make a decision.

I had to be up early because I had an appointment at the GP at ten to discuss my prescription. The hospital decided they should probably take over my regular drugs and because there are so many, it seemed to make sense to make an appointment to go in and go through it with them because enough mistakes have been made with them in the past for me to be wary. It turned out that some of my concern should have laid with Sridhar who wrote the letter to the GP because he got several of the drugs/doses wrong which is not helpful. Thankfully Dr. Bagchi is very sensible and knows to believe us about what we need vs. what might be written. Now we have all that planned, it should be fine when I next need to get some drugs. She called me “motivational”. That’s me, Little Miss Motivator.

This afternoon, we caught up on some of the tv missed last night, and then Mommy went to Grandma’s while I sat and crocheted my jumper sleeve while watching iZombie and Buffy. Tonight I am out again, this time for the My Dad Wrote A Porno Live show with Sadie! We are very excited. I’m having dinner with Mommy and Daddy first because they’re going to go to the cinema to see the Potato Peel Pie film, which is fine with me as I have no interest in that.

The 26th of April.

Oh, I fell straight to sleep last night. Porno Live was excellent, hilarious and harrowing, and I had just enough wine to not dream, but not so much that I felt the effect this morning. Perfect amount of wine.

Spent the morning in my pyjamas, finishing up the second sleeve of my jumper, then I went to get dressed for the gym, putting on one of the four pairs of leggings Sadie bestowed upon me last night.

I did more in the gym today than on Tuesday. Not everything I usually do downstairs, because there were people in the way of the equipment, but got along happily with everything upstairs because there it was almost eerily quiet. I stared at a girl for a bit too long because she was so strong and I wanted to be her. There was also an old man and I didn’t particularly want to be him but he was carrying a sweater that looked ever so soft that I kind of wanted to wear.

Back at home, I’ve watched some Buffy and Scandal, and I’m going to start assembling my jumper.

The 23rd of April.

It has been a very boring day.

This morning, I wrote up a blog post, sewed up the seam of the first sleeve of my jumper, and got very bored of hearing about the new royal baby. So much baby news. Now he is born and home, one hopes it will die down once we know his name.

I had an ultrasound with Andrew at one, to check if there were any strictures or thromboses in the lower arm. After checking all the veins, and looking at the visible tissue, it seems my veins are fine, there isn’t any fluid anymore, and now there are just fat deposits in my arm for no reason! So I’m going to get back in touch with Anne Dancey to explore my options. I can’t leave it like this.

Then we had two hours to kill, so we bought some crap sandwiches from WH Smith and read our books. Much book-reading today. I finally went in to the x-ray suite at quarter past four, where Dr. Blaney was waiting. I lay face down, trying to breathe comfortably. My lower back was exposed, and I then had an x-ray probably every twenty seconds while Dr. Blaney did lots of injections. I think he was doing some local anaesthetic, then putting in a bigger needle and using that for the steroid. It took maybe five to ten minutes and was slightly uncomfortable, but not enough to put me off having them again. If they work, that is – it’s hard to tell at the moment. They might work immediately, it could take a few days, or they might not work at all. If they don’t, I don’t know what I will do.

The 24th of April.

Well, I think I might very tentatively say that my back may be slightly improved?

This morning it was quite tricky to tell, because I didn’t do anything to really test it out. I got up, had breakfast and coffee, and listened to The Riverdale Register while getting dressed for the gym. Mommy and I printed out all our tickets for Mach so they are sorted in folders for when they’re required, then I did the first two rows of the second sleeve of my jumper.

After lunch, I went to the gym for a short session. Partially because I didn’t want to overdo things, and partially because Mommy had to be at Grandma’s for twenty to four, so I needed to finish earlier than I usually do. Basically, I skipped all the stuff I do downstairs, so I just did the circuit of machines upstairs. I didn’t have the pain I was experiencing last time, but that was a very bad day. The pain is definitely not gone, but I think it might be a tiny bit better.

Tonight I am out at the mac seeing Tez and the seats there are not the most comfortable, so that might give me a better assessment.


The 17th of November.

Most of today, I have stayed sat in the armchair in fear, because twice when I got up, my chest hurt. I did not enjoy that, so I decided to avoid moving unless absolutely necessary. Thankfully, I have just tested myself and it felt alright.

So this morning, I fell back to sleep after my alarm went off, then I was woken up by some Bach on Desert Island Discs. Got downstairs and had to write up yesterday because I didn’t have time last night. Once that was done, I settled down in my chair to get working on Hank the Dorset Down Sheep.

And he has been my activity of the day! I left my chair to give the kittens lunch and go to the bathroom once, then I stayed put with my wool. I have made his head, body and two legs! Now my eyes are hurting but I only have prednisolone eye drops which don’t work as well as the dexamethasone, which I have run out of (unless I want to induce more agony with preservative). Not sure what I’m going to do until Monday.

The 18th of November.

Another day of much the same, but for slightly different reasons.

I got up when my alarm went off, and already my back was clunking. It has not improved as the day’s gone on, so I have stayed in my chair, trying to not be in pain. However, that hasn’t done me much good, and this evening I am unable to find a position that is comfortable.

I couldn’t watch Saturday Kitchen because Pixie Lott was on it, and I simply can’t bear her. So I put Bones on instead and got through two of those while I wrote up a late blog post, then made Hank’s other two legs. Plus I had tweets from Heidi that the crocheted item I made for her has arrived and she is very pleased, so I feel good about that.

After lunch, I made his ears and tail, then it was time to assemble him. Without his coat though, he is not cute. The rest of my afternoon, once he was put together, has been spent creating his woolly jacket. He’s not done, but I finished a ball of wool and that seemed like a natural place to have a rest. Currently it looks like he has a lovely vest on. I shall complete him tomorrow!

The 13th of November.

Sleep was not actually that bad, although I did wake up so cold, I had to drag my blanket over myself. I have the double thickness duvet on my bed now for winter, so hopefully tonight I’ll be toasty.

This morning, I went out with Mommy to do some shopping errands. First, we went to Aldi, because they have some decent crackers (Christmas, not Jacob’s) and are selling a cheap version of wool I like. Next, M&S for a pretzel and chewing gum (this was really just a bonus rather than a necessary trip), then we went to Boots so I could get a body brush to try to help my skin, circulation and lymphatic system.

After lunch, I have been sat with the crochet. My back hurts more than usual today – it’s like I’m having a delayed reaction to all the driving on Saturday. Every time I get up, I groan, like I am ancient. So I’ve sat watching The Blacklist, and just had to undo and redo an entire section of crochet because I wasn’t paying enough attention.

The 14th of November.

I forgot how heavy the double duvet is. Took me ages to get comfortable underneath the weight. It’s super warm though.

Today has not involved a great deal of excitement. This morning I used my new body brush thing and all the unsupported sitting made my back unbearably painful, so much so that I couldn’t finish moisturising afterwards, and I had to get Mommy to help do my legs. I’m not sure it’s ever been so bad that I couldn’t do what I needed to. Found out today that Dr. Antrobus has actually left (not ideal), but he had written my letter before he did, so it can get sent on to Dr. Blaney who can do the bloody steroid injections!

Afternoon was more of the usual – Bones, The Blacklist, crochet. Made another irritating mistake by being distracted. Nearly finished this project now – might get the last bits done tomorrow, but I’m seeing Vicky for sick person chats so we’ll see.

I am seeing Joe at The Glee tonight, which is going to be much fun. Distraction from life garbage.

The 30th of October. 

Another dodgy night – I think it’s because of the change in temperature. I had to drag my blanket over my duvet at one point because I was so cold. 

This morning, I did a lot of writing, before going and saying hello to the new tiny screamers. Bless little Callie, she just sits there looking at the other two, baffled. She does mew, just much more quietly. She’s so cute. Then I finished the accessory of the Christmas crochet so now that is 100% complete! Next I’ve got a decorative set to do, and two more presents. 

After lunch, I had an appointment at the hygienist. Thankfully it was Sandra, my usual one, so I had a much more pleasant experience than last time. We had a conversation about how we’re both already looking at Christmas jumpers, and she has given me a couple of toothpaste samples that are apparently not minty, so I shall give them a try. It would be nice to use an adult toothpaste. 

While I was in with her, Christine (who does Andrew’s appointments) rang and I am seeing him about my numbness next week. Hurrah!

The 31st of October. 

My back is dire this evening. I’m not even safe in my comfortable chair now. God, I sound ancient. But I saw that my immunology bloods are back now so hopefully Dr. Antrobus will talk to Dr. Blaney and he will just give me the steroid injections. I am desperate. 

I was at the chiro this morning where Trine did her best to stretch it out but she can’t alleviate the pain. She did some work to my neck to loosen some of the muscles that might be partly responsible for my numb arm, but my joints are all fine. Nerve conduction studies seem to be the way to go. 

This afternoon, I have been crocheting while watching season 2 of The Blacklist. Currently making Christmas gnomes. Also obviously lots of kitten petting. I have found one position that I can sit them in that makes them stop screaming. I just feel bad that I can only get them out one at a time! Not for much longer – we can flea spray them this evening, then in two days they can run around all they want.

 

The 10th of September. 

Today has not been so terrible, in terms of pain, but I have still felt pretty shit all day. 

I’m still tired, from not sleeping properly due to pain, so I got up just before the start of Sunday Brunch and got dressed in a cosy jumper and leggings, because the weather demanded it. 

I have, again, not moved a great deal, but also have not crocheted at all because I just can’t concentrate. I thought, after lunch, that I might need a nap, so I went upstairs to lie down. I put on a podcast, curled up and closed my eyes, but I did not fall asleep. This is good; it means I am not ill! Just feel shit because I’m tired and in pain. Preferable. 

After coming downstairs from my rest, I watched three episodes of Bones that had appeared overnight, and tried some Hugo petting. I forced him on to my lap and stroked until my arm was tired. He must learn to enjoy it. 

The 11th of September. 

Another early start, but for a good reason. I met up with Adam this morning, because he’d come up to the QE to talk to some of the nurses about stuff Dean wanted to do. It was really good to see him and give him a big hug in person, as opposed to verbally via direct messages on Twitter. We talked about how it had been in the last couple of weeks, and at the end, and his incredible appearance on Victoria Derbyshire. How he’s coping, how I am. There are things that are being planned in his name that I am looking forward to seeing. His legacy will live on. 

He had to get going up to YPU, and I had to go home for lunch before my chiro appointment. Trine has managed to make me feel some relief – it appears one of the muscles on the right side of my back had gone into spasm and travelled all the way up (or down, I’m not sure which end it started) which meant all of that side was contracting. No wonder I was in pain. She managed to work some of it out, while I gritted my teeth. Thankfully it hadn’t transferred into my neck, so I just needed some ice pack treatment when I got home. 

Since then, I have crocheted some mice for the kittens to play with. Henrietta has appropriated an old one which is incredibly tatty, so now they have some more that aren’t falling apart.