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The 20th of October. 

I feel somewhat better this evening. Had a good sleep, although it seemed very busy – I had so many dreams. In one, I meowed at a lion and it did not like it. 

The day has been mainly dictated by the fixing of the door. The only effect it had on me was that we didn’t go to the cinema, but that wasn’t a major issue. I wrote up a blog post, but didn’t post it until the door was fixed. I don’t know why, nobody could have broken in. Anyway. I then had to remake the head of Heidi’s doll, so I sat with that on my lap until about three, and now her body is finished (again). Except she needs hair. 

Went upstairs for an hour and watched an episode of The Blacklist. I can climb the stairs a bit more easily than last week – I don’t need oxygen when I get to the top. I think I’ll be alright on Tuesday for my anaesthetic. 

Back downstairs, I put on today’s Buffy and started making the hat required for Heidi’s doll, while Mommy and Daddy went to pick up the car from its MOT. Mid-hat, I had a visit from James who wanted to leave a drill with us and borrow a key. We had a nice chat – I haven’t seen him or Becky for ages. Need to have her round when we’re both not ill. 

The 21st of October. 

I suspect this is going to be a rather short entry because my day has been one of little action. 

Mommy has been out all day on a bread-making course that Christine and I bought for her for Christmas, so I’ve had to get everything for myself today. That doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it meant much pain, especially when making coffee and lunch. Stupid disintegrating back. 

So I have spent pretty much my entire day sat in front of the tv, bingeing on The Blacklist and attaching strands of hair to the doll. It’s a very tedious job, but it is a labour of love. I have now run out of wool so I’ve got to order some more. My collection is growing out of control. 

And that is literally it. Mommy’s back now, and she has brought home a white loaf, two wholemeal breadbuns, half a foccacia, half a ciabatta and a milk bun which I have eaten. So much bread. I am delighted.

The 20th of February. 

I so want to be able to breathe normally again. Or at least, normally for me. To walk from the living room to the kitchen without needing to recover, to not need to spend the first hour of every day coughing up endless amounts of crap. I suspect Andrew won’t be able to get me in next week because he’ll be only just back from half term, so I have to be patient. I am just so tired. 

I spoke to the orthotics team this morning and I’m going in tomorrow at 9.30, presumably to be measured for a sleeve that goes over the hand. 

The rest of the day, I have been waiting around for Mommy to be available so we could bake brownies with the triple double chocolate Oreos in. At one point, we almost got started, then there was decorating chat, then Alison came over, so an hour after going to the kitchen, we began. I made sure we cooked them for the full amount of time, so hopefully they won’t be underbaked like usual. 

Good news! NHS England have announced they “are confident” that funding for second transplants will become available, but this is not yet confirmed. It also begs the question of what the hell has the anguish of the past six months been for? The pressure is not off. 

The 21st of February. 

I think the steroid eye drops are working – I had to wake up at quarter to seven, and it took much less time for my eyes to adjust to the light. Hooray!

Up early to see the orthotics team – Chris is on annual leave this week so I saw Pete, the clinical lead. I explained what had happened and showed him the pictures. He took some more measurements (and was pleased I had worn a jumper with easy arm access), and with any luck, I’ll be able to pick up the new sleeve tomorrow after haematology clinic. 

Before going home, we went into town so I could return the jumper I bought the other day, and I got a birthday card for Mommy. Her present is on its way, so if it arrives in time, I’ll wrap it on Thursday while the dining room is being painted and the fumes will force me to retreat to upstairs  

This afternoon, Daddy and I went to see Hidden Figures. It is really superb. I adored all of the costume, especially Janelle Monáe’s dress at the beginning. Loooove. I read an article about the three women (Katherine G. Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan and Mary Jackson) in New Scientist a few weeks ago, and have been really looking forward to seeing it since then. I can’t believe I did not hear about these women until now. And I am worried that we are going back to the time they came from.

 

The 22nd of November. 

I think all of the discomfort has abated now. Still not going back to the gym though as I’m still bleeding more than I would like. 

I got a blog post done this morning before we had to go out. I was at the chiro having my back crunched, and thankfully there was not too much work to be done, just a very stiff neck. On the way home, we went to Tesco for stuff for baking (there’s some kind of Christmas fair at Grandma’s church on Thursday), then home for lunch. 

This afternoon, I spoke to the potential adopter I couldn’t get hold of yesterday, and gave her the details of the black and white adult cat who’s being advertised on the Cats Protection website. I’m waiting to hear back from the couple who came to see Archie last night – they loved him, but they loved the other two as well, so now I think they’re having trouble deciding. I hope they choose Archie, or I’ll feel so sad for him. 

I spent the rest of my time crocheting. A request was put in for a couple of hats for the aforementioned jamboree, so I knocked up two, for a toddler and a child. 

Really early start tomorrow. QE at 9. Yay. 

The 23rd of November. 

Awake at 5.45 today. I was wanted at clinic as early as possible because my cortisol levels were being checked. However, that did mean I could actually choose where to sit because the waiting room hadn’t filled up yet! Then I’d barely read any of my book when I got called in by Charlie Craddock. It was actually really good to see him instead of Ram because when I complained about the lack of pain team appointment, he said he would chase them for me, and he has slightly more clout than Ram. He then proceeded to dictate his letters (to my other consultants and the pain team respectively) while I was still sitting there which I always find super awkward but it’s good to know his chasing will definitely be done. Plus he was very complimentary about my Anthony Nolan work.

I had a big order for pharmacy, so while they were doing that, we popped up to TCT to see if they were interested in having a load of my books, which they were, so it was a good thing we’d brought them with us!

Before going home, we went into town so I could get a graph paper notebook (Moleskine appear to be the only place to stock them). Then this afternoon, I have been ringing more potential cat adopters, crocheting my Christmas scarf (it’s nearly there) and icing cakes for the church Christmas thing. 

Another early morning tomorrow but going to be worth it – Winter Food Show!

The 25th of October. 

Another very strange dream last night in which I was trying to decide whether or not to shoot myself in the head. It wasn’t going to kill me, just “reset” me in some way, but I had to get it right or it wouldn’t work and I’d just end up brain damaged. Why am I like this?

This morning, I finished off all the parts of the thing I’ve been making and put it all together. It looks so good! I just have to wait until Christmas to show it to anybody. Oh, the pains of being organised. I still have to come up with and make two more presents though so I do need the time. 

After lunch I started on a hat using the Christmassy wool I bought which I will be able to let people see, although admittedly I won’t be able to wear it until at least November. Frankly I’m just waiting for an excuse to make my Christmas playlist. The festive food magazines have already started arriving but I have yet to peruse them for recipes. 

At 3, Shari came round again to see Alfie and Angelica. They were not particularly into the idea of sitting on her lap, but that’s normal – they’ll get there. Both of them sit still with me very happily, so it’s just going to take time. She stayed for about an hour, and we had a good chat. She’s very excited, having been wanting kittens since she was a kid, and now she’s living in her own place, she can have them! I bet she can’t wait for the weekend to come. 

The 26th of October. 

Today has not gone as planned but maybe that’s in my favour. 

This morning, I mostly sat in front of the tv, working on my Christmas hat. That is actually how I spent my afternoon too, although it wasn’t supposed to be. The lady who’s adopting Ava and Amira was supposed to be coming to see them with her daughter and grandchildren, but she never turned up.  I realised that she didn’t know what number I live at, and I rang her but she didn’t answer, so I left a message. They have my phone number, so I thought her daughter might ring but that didn’t happen, and I’ve still heard nothing. She goes on holiday tomorrow, so I might see if Sheila has the daughter’s number and try to find out what happened. 

Them not coming meant that I could finish off the hat (it’s very cute) and we made a special cake for the final episode of Bake Off. I don’t want it to start because then it’ll be over! But we will be having cinnamon chocolate chip cake which will be amazing. I did hurt my hand chopping all the chocolate but I think it will be worth it. 

The 5th of October. 

I spent as much of today as possible with the tiny fluffball because Shaki texted this morning to say she’d be picking her up at half seven, while I was out. Probably a good thing as I wouldn’t have wanted to let her go. 

I wrote up a blog post, then went to let Olivia run around a bit. We had to set up a barricade of sorts so she couldn’t get anywhere she might get stuck. She runs and jumps like a tiny bunny and it is probably the cutest thing I have ever seen. I would like to keep her forever but have her remain the same size, and neither of those things can happen. 

This afternoon, Mommy and I wound a skein of wool into a ball which took nearly an hour – much longer than I expected. I think for the other four, I will have to use some kind of apparatus so she doesn’t have to kneel on the floor for that long again. 

She then went to Grandma’s, so I went and played with Olivia for another hour. I occasionally had to stop her from climbing down behind the bed, but for the most part we had a lovely time playing with newspaper. My back started to get pretty bad, so I popped her back in the cage with some food. When Mommy got back, we decided to make some muffins, but then Jonathan wanted to come and see the kitty, so Mommy baked and I sat with him and Olivia. She has had a whale of a time. 

At five, I needed to get ready to go out to The Glee, so he went home and I went upstairs to make myself slightly more presentable. We then had Jamie at the door returning some keys, and he got to see Olivia too. 

I arrived at The Glee to see James Acaster shortly before the doors were due to open, so I got myself a glass of wine and found a place to wait. Looking around, I realised the girl next to me had been in my class at school, and I had not seen her since we left nine years ago! We had a quick catch-up, and Sandhya is a doctor now, although it is unlikely I’ll bump into her because she works at Sandwell Hospital, not the QE. She wasn’t aware of everything that’s happened, but thankfully, being a medic, she understood everything I was saying. 

It was allocated seating, and for once I was actually in a decent place! A few rows back from the front, just to stage left. I had a nice chat with the chap on my left about James and other comedy gigs we’d both been to, then my fish finger sandwich was delivered so I ate that and he went to get a drink. It was really tasty! Excellent home-made lime tartare sauce. Capers, all sorts of business. 

The show was excellent, as I thought it would be. He had to cope with some curveballs, like coming onstage with burgers that the front row had ordered, a lady called Sarah who stood up because her back hurt, unfortunately right in the spotlight, and me and the lady next but one to me getting utterly hysterical at James’ praying mantis impression. Not sure why it tickled us so much, but it was glorious. My face hurt from laughing so much. We had a chat about it in the interval and ended up having a very jolly time along our row. Much more fun than the intervals usually are!

Daddy picked me up at the end, and when I got home, I considered watching Bake Off, but decided to leave it until the morning. Bed. 

The 6th of October. 

Tired today. Too much laughing. First thing I did this morning was watch last night’s Bake Off. Very pleased that Tom went. He was superfluous. I don’t know who will be an acceptable loss now though because I like all the rest!

I wrote about yesterday, which was a lengthier exercise than I originally anticipated. Jen rang to discuss our next cat delivery, which was determined to be this afternoon. Five kittens and their mum. 

After lunch, we waited for Jen to arrive with the clowder. She said between two and three, then I was going to go to the gym afterwards. Well, that was the plan. She arrived just before three, then by the time she’d left (we love a chinwag), there really wasn’t time. Nevermind!

We let them settle in, and I did a bit of crocheting before Becky came round. I introduced her to Amy (mum) and Archie, Alfie, Ava, Angelica and Amira. Obviously they are all still very unsure so we left them and had tea and muffin/hobnob chat in the living room. I haven’t seen her for weeks so she had a great deal to bring us up to speed with, what with her having moved to a new school. Much less stressful, or at least in different ways. We allowed ourselves a tiny bit of Christmas excitement. 

Got to get these kitties to be my friend. 

The 25th of September.

Last night’s bad dream was that I got shot, then I was having to have another transplant but I’m not sure which organ. I would like this to stop now. Nice dreams please, brain. 

I had a nice morning in the soft pyjamas (honestly I hate taking them off; regular clothes suck), writing my blog and crocheting the last square. It turns out that I need one more to complete the blanket but I don’t have enough wool, so I’ll have to wait for another sale, then get some more to finish it. I also changed the battery in the heart rate monitor strap to see if that would fix it, but it still wouldn’t transmit. Had it worked, I would have gone to the gym this afternoon, but now that’s going to wait until tomorrow or Tuesday, depending on when my new one gets delivered. 

After lunch, I iced some cakes for Daddy to take into work tomorrow when they’re having their Macmillan coffee morning, and started working on one of my Christmas presents. I’m so organised. I am having to do it with a 2mm hook though, and boy, do my eyes hurt. I think I am going to need to do this with lots of breaks. 

I’ve had a text about collecting Rufus and he’ll be going on Thursday. A couple of days more to try to make him less skittish!

The 26th of September. 

Finally a night with no bad dreams! Not that I remember, anyway. I only recall one in which Christine was in her bedroom and the bathroom at the same time. 

I am tired because I’ve been back to the gym. My new heart rate monitor came this morning so I made sure it all worked before I went – didn’t want another surprise. Mommy had to go and pick Daddy up from work because he was feeling ill again, even though he’d taken his tablets and everything. Really hope he’s okay this weekend. I also did a bit more work on the Christmas present. 

So, the gym! On the way, I got a text from Vlad asking when I might go and do this core plan. I said I was actually nearly there, but he wasn’t around, so we agreed on Thursday. I saw Neil and paid for the rest of September, which was a whole £4.17, then went to put my stuff in a locker, where I had a panic because I thought I’d lost the lightning to headphone adapter. Thankfully I found it under the seat, which was most pleasing because a) I really didn’t want to have to buy another because I was careless and b) I didn’t want to have to listen to gym music. I did a bit more than last time and it all seemed okay – we shall see tomorrow!

The 3rd of September. 

It feels ever so strange to come downstairs in a morning and not to have to feed any kittens. Got a new guy coming tomorrow afternoon though – his name is Rufus and he needs socialising so more persistent petting is going to be required. 

I read the weekend Guardian, skipping the Nick Clegg interview because I knew it would make me too sad/angry, and I only remembered I actually needed to write up a blog post after lunch. Thankfully, I had time to do it because there was no cinema trip today; the only film I wanted to see was Morgan, but Daddy was not a fan of that idea so that was off. I am not that bothered; I’ll read the plot on Wikipedia. 

So, instead of going out (admittedly in the pissing rain), Mommy and I have baked. A batch of brownies from the Gü cook book, and some vanilla biscuits using the recipe from the Biscuiteers book, the icing of which I will do tomorrow. Whether I go the whole hog of doing the lining and flooding business, I do not yet know. They’re all cat shaped because I just love living up to stereotypes. 

The 4th of September. 

I have had a very productive day. I can tell because my back hurts a lot

This morning was not so much, just washing my hair and Sunday Brunch. Mommy had bought some kippers so I ate those for breakfast and burnt my fingers getting the plate out of the microwave. Just before lunch, we made some royal icing for the biscuits we made yesterday. We dyed some of it orange, turning our hands red in the process (milk once again coming to the rescue as a stain-remover), and I piped the outlines of all the biscuits. 

We let them set while we ate, then I went back to flood them all with more orange while I listened to the new Frank Ocean album. That took a while to set, so I left it again and did some crocheting. Jen came to pick up the kitten paperwork and drop off some homing blankets, then I went back to add details while I watched the repeat of Bake Off. First I used just white to do the feet of the whole cats and cheeks of the cat faces, then I had to make some black. The closest I could get was a very dark grey, then I had a palaver with putting it into a squeezy bottle which hurt my hands, so then it got decanted into a piping bag, and I did all their faces. They are so CUTE! I am thrilled with how they’ve turned out. How they managed to do them on Great British Bake Off within the time limit, I have no idea, because it’s taken me about five hours just doing the icing, nevermind the baking. 

Rufus is now coming tomorrow as Shaki is still out trapping, which actually is most convenient, as we still haven’t eaten our tea. I am pooped.