Archives For becky

The 18th of February.

I think I might have to stop wearing jeans for a while – the way they fit or do not fit is messing with my mind and making it veer off onto anorexic-esque paths that I worked so hard to learn to ignore. Some pairs fit my legs but are too large at my waist, some fit my legs but are too small for my waist, some are tight at the calf but not the thigh, and most claim to be the same size. I don’t think I will ever have a completely easy relationship with my body and food.

This morning, I wrote up a blog post, then made the head of the poodle. I started it last night, but wasn’t paying enough attention so I fucked it up.

After lunch, Mommy and I went round to the house of my friend Kathryn’s parents, so I could drop off the crocheted Christmas chaps I made for her and they can take them to Iceland, where she lives.

I made the poodle’s ears, then spent the rest of my afternoon watching Altered Carbon with Mac. He was being a monkey and kept going behind the television, but eventually he got tired and fell asleep on my lap. Nice and warm. Too bad there wasn’t another kitten at my feet – my toes are freezing.

The 19th of February.

The photos I deleted are back. How?! I went on to Photos this morning to move some more around, and I found the total was back at 30,000. I am so confused. I think wiping them all and starting again will be the way to go.

Apart from that, this morning I made the tail and arms of the poodle and stuffed her feet.

After lunch, I watched some more of The Blacklist, and started putting the poodle together. However, none of it looked right, so I pulled her apart, and then Becky came round for a catch up. Haven’t seen her for several weeks, so she was here a while. I introduced her to Mac and we had tea, and I heard about recent school antics and familial drama. I told her how last Monday had gone, which she was glad to hear of – she couldn’t come with school being so busy. If only half term here had been a week earlier!

I’ve managed to now get the head, ears and legs on the poodle. Got to do the arms and tail, then curly coat.

IMG_3853IMG_3862

 

The 23rd of December.

Merry Christmas Eve Eve!

I woke up just after six which was frustrating but what can you do? I just listened to the radio until the heating kicked in.

My day has been very monotonous, but enjoyable. I have sat in the glow of the tree lights, watching films on the tv, crocheting a shawl. This morning was The Boxtrolls (which Christine had not seen before), and Daddy left foot Wales to bring Taid here for Christmas. Mommy went to Grandma’s for their Christmas fayre, and was gone for most of the day.

Christine and I had our lunch (fucking hell, standing up just for the time it takes to make a sandwich was torturous – have to chase Dr. Blaney in January), then she went for a walk. When she returned, we watched Hidden Figures, which has not long finished.

I’m writing early because this evening I’m going to The Electric with Becky to sing along to the Muppets Christmas Carol, as is tradition. I’m very excited. It is the summer of the soul in December.

The 24th of December.

Merry Christmas Eve!

Everything is right. I had a proper sleep – actually woke up at a normal time so I have not needed extra coffee today.

It has been a very similar day to yesterday, for me. Sat in armchair, watched tv, crocheted. I did have a break early afternoon because I had to wrap Grandma’s final present (it only got bought after I’d done all my other wrapping) and that was the only time the table was available.

I just cherish every moment at home this time of year. After three Christmases in a row as an inpatient, and nearly being back in last year, I am always so grateful to be here. To wake up in my own bed, sit in front of the fire, be with people I love for the whole day, not just the hours allowed. I remember in 2007 all presents had to be sterile, and in 2008 I remember being woken for an ultrasound on my new liver, Becky and Alison arriving with a bag of satsumas for me to suck the juice from (I couldn’t digest the flesh) and feeling so sick at the smell of Mommy’s dinner, I had to send her to the bathroom to eat it. In 2009, I was itching like crazy from the shingles, and so breathless I couldn’t walk across my cubicle.

Those should not be Christmas memories. This is why I appreciate home.

The 3rd of November. 

I keep waking up earlier than I want to. So I put the radio on and the Today programme infiltrates my dreams, it’s rather irritating. 

This morning was routine blog post, chat with kittens, then back to Christmas gnome. Finished off the cuffs on the arms, then Mommy had made cinnabons so I iced them and we had lunch. After we’d given the kittens theirs, the buns had cooled down sufficiently for me to have one. Oh man, they are my favourite. 

Once I had finished and licked all the icing off my fingers, it was time to do the final pieces of the gnome. Rather large hat, nose and beard. Few more episodes of The Blacklist down. And I had a couple of phone calls – one from the QE, checking that I was still going next week to get my eyelashes done, and from St. Giles, because I’d rung them with another sleeve query. The sleeve on the prescription is not the one on the box, but we have solved the mystery and that’s all fine. 

The 4th of November. 

Well today I had to get up early and my alarm woke me up, such is life. Up, breakfast, coffee. Picked up a bunch of tote bags to put any shopping I might do in, and we went out when Becky and Alison arrived. Christmas Crafts ahoy!

I split off from the others, because we have different interests and it’s easier for me to go around on my own in the wheelchair. I had a bimble up and down the rows of stalls, growing frustrated because I couldn’t find what I was looking for. Eventually, I had to buy a show guide for a map. So then I found Toft and had a nice chat with the girl there, and I bought a kit to make Hank the Dorset Down Sheep. Then I bought some heavily discounted merino wool to make some socks, and went in search of some stuff to make a necklace. I have a crocheted patch to use as a pendant but it was impossible to locate what I needed. Will have to go to Hobbycraft or something. 

I met back up with Mommy, Becky and Alison, and we went to look at the fancy cakes. Some of them were incredible, like this dog wearing a raincoat. But after a while, the smell of sugar in the air was giving me a headache, and it was time to go. 

When we got back, Becky came in to meet the kittens. She could not deal with their tiny size. Got a lady coming to see Chester tomorrow!

The 13th of August. 

I love Zopiclone. I had some last night and for once it actually worked; it wasn’t hours before I fell asleep, and I stayed asleep all night long. Curiously, I remember one of my dreams, which I don’t normally when I have drugs – we smeared Grandma’s head in jelly to make her warm. 

So I slept in, which was delightful, and after breakfast, I wrote up a blog post. And now we know we saw the last race Usain Bolt won. Even if it was a heat. And Mommy is extra glad she’s got tickets to see Mo next weekend at the Alexander Stadium. 

This afternoon, I needed to get away from the horrors of life (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’re not paying enough attention), so I went upstairs, and I listened to James Acaster being interviewed by Richard Herring at Edinburgh which made me laugh so much, I can’t wait to see him again this autumn. Then I went to watch the final episode of Orphan Black with Betty, which made me do a small cry, but it was for happy reasons, not sad. 

I have felt much less terrible today. Less tired, less pain, less burping. All round improvement. 

The 14th of August. 

Normal sleep service has resumed, it seems. No drugs last night. Suddenly realised this morning that Becky and James’ wedding anniversary is tomorrow and we hadn’t got them cards. So, after Mommy had been to do the food shop that didn’t happen at the weekend, we went into Sutton to get some. While there, I bought some lip balms because mine is about to run out, and some nail varnish remover, then we got cards. 

Back home, we had lunch, then Becky and Jamie appeared with gifts to say thank you for feeding their cats while they’ve been away. Jamie should have been on his way back to Strasbourg, but he missed all his trains. He should be on his plane now, if everything this afternoon went to plan. We can but hope. 

Since then I have been crocheting a tiny teddy with the remaining pretty baby wool. I’ve actually finally had a good idea for what to give Pete and Sophie for their twins, and after talking to her this morning, I have a very up to date idea for when they’re likely to be born, so I don’t need to rush. 

The 22nd of July. 

Writing this on Sunday morning because I was not exactly in a fit state last night. 

This morning, after breakfast and coffee, I had a lot of typing to do – two long blog posts done. When I have to write very long ones, I use the laptop, but it’s not good for my wrists. My body is so broken. 

I had some lunch, then got myself ready to go to Becky’s for her birthday barbecue. When I arrived, I was presented with a glass of rosé and took a spot in the garden, under the gazebo. It wasn’t super warm, but it was at least not raining. All of the usual gang were there – Chris, Alison, Jamie, Lorna (and her boyfriend Will), Micky and Stuart, Michael and Barbara. Other people were going to come and go as the day went on. 

We managed to soldier through the first shower, but after about 5 o’clock, it was getting a bit chilly and we decamped into the living room. I sat next to Luna, one of the cats, so I always had someone to talk to. We played Cards Against Humanity, which I have not done before, but I won three black cards so I was pleased with myself. 

By the time I had started my third wine, it had got to about half past nine, and I was quite sozzled. Decided it was time to go home – I needed carbs and water, and if I’d stayed, I would have continued to drink and things could have ended rather messily. 

The 23rd of July. 

Hmm well rosé does not agree with me. The last time I had it was at Jill’s when I also had Four Loko and some kind of apple shots so the hangover could have been attributed to any of those. Today I haven’t been hungover, but I’ve had really unpleasant heartburn since last night. Had some Rennies today but it still isn’t 100% gone. Ugh. 

I had a nice morning watching ol’ Nish on Sunday Brunch, writing about yesterday and trying to ignore Rita Ora. I don’t know why, I just find her incredibly irksome. Grandma didn’t go to church, so she came to us for lunch, which we actually had at lunchtime, not mid-afternoon. 

Afterwards, I went upstairs for an hour or so to have a lie down and stretch of my stomach, give it a bit of a rest, while I listened to some podcasts. I came back down to say bye to Christine, and crocheted some more of the minion while the cricket was on. Then I went to see the floofs, and watched one episode of Orphan Black. I’ve got two episodes left of season 4, then I’ll actually be on the current series. 

Grandma has gone home, and I’m starting to think about some tea. More carbs, I think. 

The 24th of June. 

Back to being not very warm. I liked the in-between weather, when it was about twenty. Oh well. Bloody British summer. Anyway, you don’t come here for meteorology. 

This morning I wrote up a blog post, idly watched some of Saturday Kitchen, then went to see the kittens. They’ve livened up since yesterday, although I could only see two of them. Obviously Betty is fine – she always runs right up to the door, chatting away. I rang up a chap who is interested in coming to view, so he and his wife are coming tomorrow. They can’t have any until they’re neutered so I’ve got some time with them still. 

After lunch, I’ve managed to while away the afternoon doing not much of anything. I did a chocolatey face mask, watched some tennis, and the latest episode of Nashville which had me an absolute wreck. Do not show me daughters watching their mother die because I cannot cope – it is my worst fear. 

So after that, I had to go and see the kittens again to cheer me up. They were much more forthcoming than usual – I got to stroke Bree, Betsy and Brodie, and they had great fun learning about shoelaces. 

Watching the footage of Jeremy Corbyn at Glastonbury made me quite emotional. So many people who believe in a world where hope triumphs over fear and where everyone gets a chance at a decent life. There is some light left. 

The 25th of June. 

Well it’s been a much busier Sunday than I am used to. I accidentally left the box of Dreamies out last night and they’ve eaten them all. I’d say there were 50 Dreamies in that box. So they were mental this morning. 

Becky came round about eleven. She’s had a super busy three weeks with report-writing and doing levels and having meetings about those, so no time to catch up until today, bless her. She got to meet the floofs and managed to get some cuddles, then we were joined by James. He has a play with the ones that were out – I think all the Dreamies made them more outgoing. They left when Alison rang about a holiday cottage, then after lunch, she came round to meet the kitties too. 

I had a couple coming to view the kittens this afternoon, and they arrived just before two. We thought they wanted two kittens, but they’ve decided one is enough (they already have two adult cats) so we had to try to work out which one would fit in best with their dynamic. Betsy presented herself first, and as is usually the way, it was love at first sight. I thought she’d be the one, as she’s so pretty, and she sits on me for the longest. They left after an hour and a half, and I’ve just got to sort out the neutering, then they can have her! And now I can let some other people view the rest. 

Since then, tennis, Grand Prix, bit of crochet. Everybody tired. 

The 9th of April. 

Today has been less terrible. I can’t remember how I slept, but I’m not so tired this evening. Still in a lot of pain, though. I don’t understand what’s kicked it off in the past few days – normally it’s bad, but I can cope and ignore it, whereas now I am struggling much more. It has done this before, but it’s usually after I’ve been sat in my wheelchair all day or something. This started overnight. Still, today I have started the Buprenorphine patch so let’s hope it starts to kick in. It does not appear to be making my breathing any worse than it already is, hopefully it stays that way. 

It’s been a standard sort of Sunday. Sunday Brunch, blog, crochet. Despite the sun, I have not been in the garden, but I listened to a lovely episode of Gardeners’ Question Time on their 70th anniversary. I have reached peak grandma. 

Christine has flown off to Denmark today for a pre-Easter holiday, so we talked this morning and when she landed, and I let her know that there had been an incident with the vacuum and her wardrobe. It still functions, it’s fine. 

One week down. Two to go. 

The 10th of April. 

A sleep that cannot be described as good but equally was not dreadful last night. My back is less painful, although I don’t know if that’s due to the patch or if it’s just going back to normal, the way it was before Friday. I suppose I need to start paying proper attention to the level of pain I’m experiencing now I’ve started on an attempt at managing it. 

Becky came round this morning because I haven’t seen her for ages and they are off for a week down south. We had a catch up about family stuff, school, and times when we have both nearly burst into tears at people recently. Thankfully we were both able to keep the tears in while it was necessary. 

She stayed for about an hour, chatting and meeting the kitty, then she had to go home and eat lunch before they went off on their way. 

Mommy went to Grandma’s, and I sat with the laptop to do some Cats Protection admin, as there have been several adoptions done. I haven’t facilitated them, obviously, but I still have to put the details from the forms on Catalog. 

Last night, I caught myself almost getting bitter about why, out of all the people I knew, it had to be me who had their whole life taken away, who didn’t get to do what they always dreamed of. I had to stop that train of thought. I can’t let myself go there because I will become embittered by my experience, when what I need is to become encouraged.