Archives For black sheep

The 28th of March. 

I have felt a-fucking-trocious for most of my day. High levels of oxygen have been required, and even then I have not felt so good. 

This morning I was needing 1.5-2 litres of oxygen just to sit and eat my breakfast. I finished the monster doily, then there wasn’t much morning left before we had to go out to Black Sheep. 

Obviously I took a small cylinder of oxygen with me, and I was doing alright to begin with. However, after James had put the lightener in, I had to go to the bathroom and I knew I wouldn’t get there without help. Because of the fumes and the spray etc in the air, I had to put it up to 3 litres and I was still struggling, but I didn’t want to go any higher for fear of ploughing through the cylinder. I had to text Mommy to get her to bring me a new one mid-appointment because the small ones only last 1.5-2 hours on high volumes. 

I told James off for leaving, but I forgive him because his reasons are good and Saskia will take care of me. We have nailed it with the colour – I look like a load of pixie sticks have been tipped onto my head. In a good way. Michaela is having another baby so I congratulated her, and she gave me a trim. 

I got home at about half past four, so not much has happened since then, but I’ve got the oxygen down again, thank god. I felt absolutely awful. 

The 29th of March. 

Vast improvement. I had a crappy sleep which I am putting down to low sats – when I sat up, they were 88, despite me having been on oxygen all night. However, I have got better since then.

This morning, I wrote up the blog post I should have done yesterday, we had a delivery of oxygen, then I had my rescheduled chiro appointment from last week. I was considering postponing it again, but I did not feel too terrible and my back had started protesting. 

I took the small cylinder with me, so I was able to get into all the necessary positions, which was good because pretty much all of my back had tightened up. Surprisingly, my neck didn’t need any crunching, just massaging into submission. 

Once home, we had lunch, then I updated my phone software (I know) and took a lot of selfies to document my new pretty hair. I started crocheting a new doily, and I’ve got my oxygen down to 1 litre. I wish we could work out what causes me to need it more some days and not others. Knowing me, there is probably no reason.  

The 24th of March. 

Very little to report today. I spent my morning writing all about yesterday, then put it into a blog post. I had some terrible news that James (who colours my hair) is moving to London in May! I’m very pleased for him but also very upset for my hair. I have now booked in to see him and Michaela next week, as I planned on getting it cut on the day I went into hospital, so on Tuesday I’ll have a chop and we’ll work on a spectacular finale of our relationship. 

My breathing has not been great, and that’s because when I’m just on air, my sats are only 90. Now I’ve bought a home sats monitor, I’m obsessed with checking them. It seems I have good reason to be though. 90 is not good enough. I’ll have to keep an eye on them and if they don’t improve we’ll have to see what the doctors think. Can I just get better please?

The 25th of March. 

Okay if this is recovery it is very intermittent and confusing. I slept with the oxygen on, took it off when I got up (which was late because I forgot to set my alarm) and by the time I’d got dressed, my sats had hit 85. This did not bode well. However, during the morning, I started feeling better. I took the oxygen off, and suddenly it seemed I had improved – I’ve been above 95% on air since then. I don’t understand. 

In other news, I checked MyHealth last night on a whim and saw that I have a venoplasty date! 24th of April. A month away. By the time my arm deflates (that’s if it works this time), I won’t be able to wear the rest of my jumpers which have been waiting for the past three months because it’ll probably be warm again. 

For much of my day, I sat and watched episodes of Buffy on the SyFy channel while I crocheted. Every so often I have checked my sats and they’ve been okay, so I think I’m just going to have to see how I feel every day and see if the trend is up or downward. 

The 19th of January. 

Another day of little activity. This morning I wrote up a post, then got somewhat engrossed in a game of Rollercoaster Tycoon. It’s back as an iPad game and I forgot how easy it is to get involved. Yeah, it’s no Theme Park World, but it’ll do. 

I spent my afternoon at Black Sheep. Cut and colour time, change for my birthday. The cut was just a trim, nothing drastic, but the colour has gone from white to pink and people; I think they are my favourite colours to be. Had a nice chat with James about his new business venture and that’s going very well which doesn’t surprise me at all. I got some more of The Man in the High Castle read, although I need to not leave it so long between reads as I have to keep reminding myself what’s happened. 

I got home about half past four, and we watched last night’s episode of Conviction, with which we are now finally up to date. Not especially productive but one can’t be all the time. 

Trump’s inauguration tomorrow. Think I might hide under my duvet until Saturday. 

The 20th of January. 

Trying to pretend today didn’t happen. Ignoring it. Just wishing for tomorrow, when it’s my birthday and hundreds of thousands of people march against a man who represents everything abhorrent in the world. 

I spent a lot of my day feeling quite uncomfortable and sad. I took a lot of selfies to document my new hair when the light was good, and blocked out current events by listening to podcasts. 

I thought I should at least do something constructive, so I’ve started crocheting a very cute pair of otters which will cheer me up when they’re done. 

There’s little else to say. Can today be finished now please?

The 16th of December.

It lifted, thank god. The wrapping day was not ruined. I woke up in time to say bye to Mommy and Daddy before they set off for Wales, then had my breakfast and wrote up a blog post. After fighting for a long time with the lock on the front door (I was being inept), I went round the corner to get some double sided tape and cotton wool pads (not for wrapping, I had just run out). 

After lunch, I set myself up at the dining table with my peppermint drinking fudge, The Polar Express, and all my wrapping paraphernalia. I spent the subsequent three hours indulging in festive spirit, and I have nearly finished, I just need to get some gift bags for a few things that even I am incapable of wrapping. Will pop into Paperchase after The Muppets tomorrow. 

Just after half four, I jumped in a taxi to go back to Black Sheep to have the toner cleansed our of my hair – washing did not give the desired effect. James was lovely and has fixed it, and I’m much happier now. 

I have just finished my dinner of a Domino’s personal pizza and two of four cookies, awaiting the arrival of my parents back home. They are mere moments away. 

The 17th of December. 

Today would have been 100% excellent if not for one (hopefully) minor inconvenience. But I will get to that. 

Woke up stupidly early for a Saturday, but for a good reason – Becky and I were going to watch The Muppets Christmas Carol at The Electric! She came to pick me up at quarter to nine, and off we went. We parked round the back of the cinema, then got some tea before taking our seats. I actually ordered a coffee, but it tasted awful so I went back and got a tea as well. The screening was not as busy as I expected, but some people still managed to be irritating by having brought their poorly-behaved, germ-riddled children. Not acceptable. Still, they could not ruin the magic for me. After all, it is the summer of the soul in December. 

Afterwards, we went to the Cereal Killer Café because I wanted to try one of their “cocktails”. I had a bowloccino, which is Nesquik, Coco Pops, a chocolate curl and espresso milk. So tasty! I would never go there for something like Special K, but combinations or ridiculous cereals, I am all for. 

Before coming home, we went into Paperchase so I could get some gift bags and more ribbon and tissue paper. Now I can finish my wrapping. 

Now to the inconvenience: I happened to push up my sleeves and thought “Ooh, my right arm looks a bit fat. Let’s give it a squish. Ooh, that’s a bit boggy for my liking. Actually, my right foot has felt puffier than usual for the past couple of days. And my breathing has been terrible of late.”

So I don’t know what’s going on, because I don’t have a line anymore, so that can’t be causing it, and it’s only one side, so I’m confused and unhappy. I have started diuretics to try to get rid of some of the fluid, but on Monday morning I might be ringing Gill Lowe to freak out. I don’t want to spend Christmas looking like the Stay Puft marshmallow man. 

This afternoon, Sadie came round! Mainly to see the kittens. She did not steal any (I checked). She was greatly amused by their interest in her feet. They love feet. We stayed with them until they fell asleep, then we watched the end of Mr. Magorium and ate the two remaining Domino’s cookies. 

She had to go about four to make sure her dad had done the pile of sorting she’d left him. Sometimes I wonder who the parent is in that relationship. 

Hoping to god my body deflates with peeing. Don’t make me have another venoplasty. 

The 14th of December. 

I am so sleepy! I think it’s a side effect of the pneumonia jab – last night during Masterchef, I was working really hard to keep my eyes open, and again at Black Sheep today while I was getting my hair washed. Another early night tonight, methinks. 

This morning, after writing up a blog post, we took the kittens back to the vet for their first jabs. We got them all into the carrier without them really realising what was happening. They mewed all the way there, and continued while Bryn took them all out individually. Everybody is fine, and they seemed less upset by the needle in the neck today. 

After lunch, I was at Black Sheep to see James about making my hair white for Christmas. It’s actually come out grey, but I just need to wash it to make it right. That took a good few hours, then we went to Waitrose to pick up a John Lewis order, and the sorting office for a package I missed yesterday. Now I have all of my presents!

I don’t think I will be going to the gym tomorrow – my back, neck and shoulder hurt, and if I’m all sleepy, I don’t want to feel that in the gym. Fuck it, it’s Christmas.

The 15th of December. 

I feel really sad for no reason. Well, I know the reason – depression. It was there when I woke up this morning, and it has not abated. Tomorrow is my wrapping day and I need to find my festive spirit before I start. 

I really have very little to say. I’ve spent the day wanting it to be over, wanting to feel better. Not even the kittens have been able to cheer me up. 

That’s it. I’m not here today.

 

The 28th of November. 

I think I’m just about okay today. I was still a bit wibbly when I got up, so my potential gym trip was off. Not lifting heavy weights when I might fall over. 

This morning I did a blog post and painted my nails a festive green while snuggled up in my pyjamas and fur-lined hoodie. I did get dressed, just later than might be considered socially acceptable. Well, I’m kind of poorly. It’s allowed. 

After lunch, I sorted out some of the crap in my bedroom so now it has either been put away or is in piles to get put somewhere else or in the bin. Then I had a try at making a coffee using a drip filter, as my Pact advent calendar coffee is ground for that particular brewing method, and I usually use my espresso machine. 

It was okay but next time I will use more coffee – I started off with just 16g. Not strong enough. My next job was to have another trawl of the internet for potential Christmas presents, but I am severely lacking in inspiration. Everything I see, I just think is a terrible gift. I’ve bought four things I like and made two crocheted things but that is all and I am struggling. I am really hoping some ideas come to me in a dream. Mommy and I have our annual London Christmas shopping trip next week, so maybe I will see things then.

The 29th of November. 

I’ve only had the one wobbly moment today, so I think whatever it was has passed. Hooray!

I had a quiet morning. Mommy was out at the chiro, and I spent my time doing another filter coffee and crocheting a leg of the unicorn I’m making. I used some of Daddy’s coffee for today’s practise and it was not nice at all. I do not like that blend. I’m glad I have my own. 

I had an appointment to get my hair cut after lunch, and we had quite the palaver with the hair washing. Just as my first shampoo was being done, the pressure on the boiler went, and the shower heads weren’t producing any hot water. Not ideal. They tried various things, but ended up having to use hot water from the coffee machine to rinse my hair, which was fine but I was just glad I got in when I did and wasn’t having any colour done! The chap couldn’t come until five, so I hope it’s fixed now. 

So I was there somewhat longer than expected, but that was fine with me, I just felt bad for Michaela and the knock-on effect it was having. All nice and short now, and re-whitening in two weeks. 

When I got home, I had to ring a potential adopter because I didn’t think she fully understood how Cats Protection works, then I made another unicorn leg and ordered all my Christmas cards. At least I have that sorted. Glee Club tonight! Seann Walsh and the best fish finger sandwich. 

The 16th of November. 

Today has been bookended with busyness with a nice, serene chunk in the middle. 

It began with a quick visit to Black Sheep for Michaela to trim my fringe. We had to chop off a good couple of centimetres. I feel much better about it now, but I’m waiting for a couple of weeks before cutting the rest. Would like to only have the one cut before Christmas. When I was done, Mommy and I went down into Sutton. I needed some facewipes, but they only had one type in stock so I got those. I also looked at some stationery for when I start having to keep track of lots of bits of paper for homing. I need a new crochet notebook too but all of Paperchase’s ones are wide-ruled which I hate. I miss the stationery Borders had. That was the best shop. 

This afternoon I just crocheted. Four out of six baubles done. I’m pretty much immersing myself in Christmassyness because everything else is so dreadful . 

Tonight I was back out, as there was a Cats Protection committee meeting. Now I’m going to be homing officer, I’ll have to go to them. It was not like a Hallfield meeting, which we usually manage to get through in about an hour. This one took three. I learned a lot and it was good to meet the other people with major roles. I was ready to leave by half nine though!

The 17th of November. 

Another day of the same! The night was punctuated by Daddy throwing up again – the labyrinthitis has flared up for no discernible reason. Poor Daddy. 

This morning, Mommy and I went into Birmingham. The German market has arrived so I had to go and get my pretzel (and ended up with two), plus I got my two little glass figurines to go under my tree when it goes up. I got my other facewipes, and some more moisturiser, with the bonus of a charcoal scrub mask sample thing. I do love a free sample. 

We arrived home about lunchtime, at which point I ate both my sweet and salted pretzels which have left me still incredibly full. Then this afternoon I wrote about yesterday, caught up on some tv and did a bit more crochet. I’ll take the scarf with me to hospital tomorrow because I don’t have to count stitches on that. Not going to be working on teeny tiny Christmas trees. 

Then back out for an Old Hallfieldians meeting and our AGM. The weather was appalling and turnout wasn’t great, but it was important to be there as I missed the last meeting because my back was so bad. The highlight of my evening was actually my Uber home – I had the most fun driver, Delshad. We talked about the moon, conspiracy theories, how he thinks Jeremy Corbyn is an angel. He was just a joy.

Now I have to sort out all my stuff for tomorrow. I really hope I get through problem-free. Boris (my old Latin and RE teacher) is going to say a prayer for me tonight so maybe that’ll help.