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The 9th of August. 

Well, I had a terrible night. It took me hours to fall asleep, then I woke up multiple times, too cold, couldn’t get comfortable. It is ridiculous that in August I am having to use my electric blanket. 

This morning, after a breakfast of porridge (weather appropriate), I wrote up a blog post, then I made the last two squares of the blanket. I think twenty is enough, once it has a border as well. 

I managed to spend almost all of my afternoon looking at the squares, at books and magazines, then back at the squares, trying to figure out how to join them. Tried various ways and eventually chose one, so I’ve joined six of them so far. This part will be tedious. 

Hope I have a better sleep tonight – up early for hospital tomorrow. 

The 10th of August. 

Another weird night – ages to go to sleep, then I woke at six with a horrific headache on the right side of my head, but it seemed to abate when I lay on my left. I had to get up at seven anyway and I was still getting pangs of pain, very reminiscent of the pressure headaches I used to get when I had the arm/face swelling and high blood pressure. I’m taking some co-codamol upstairs tonight in case it strikes again. 

Dr. Thompson was running pretty much to time this morning, so I didn’t have much chance to read my book. I really must try harder, because whenever I do pick it up, I want to advance the story. I really ought to just try reading it when I know I’ll have time. Anyway, I let him know how things had been since the venoplasty (arm the same, breathing slightly better) and he thinks next time I come I should do some tests so I’ll look forward to that. 

Nothing to do but come home, so I got busy assembling the blanket. I have sat in the armchair all afternoon, sewing squares together, then columns, then across the rows, then one border, and finally a second border. Now I just have to close up the gaps between the corners and weave in some ends and it’ll be done!

Oh and I have an appointment at the lymphoedema clinic, a week after I see the liposuction lady. I have to fill in a survey about my “quality of life”. Ha. 

The 7th of August. 

Still some pain today, but not quite as much. I had a decent enough sleep, but I’m still tired too. Too much activity for me for one day; my body is taking its time to recover. I’ve got very little on this week, just respiratory clinic and we’re back down to London this Saturday to do it all again. I will, at least, not have a gig to go to, so I can just rest when we get home. 

I spent most of my day working on blog posts, typing up the 3rd to the 6th, then uploading all the photos and culling the shit ones. Got to decide if I take my camera again this week, or if I take a different lens. We’re sitting in a different place so I need to work out what we’ll be able to see. 

I think I finished about half two, then I made two more squares of blanket while watching some more Glow. I’ll have to lay them out to work out how many I’m going to have to do. 

Tomorrow, I think I’ll stop the pregablin. A week of the double dose has done nothing but make me sleepy, burpy and hungry. The hunger is fucking me up because part of anorexia recovery is learning to feed yourself when you’re hungry, but now I’m having to ignore the hunger, tell myself it’s just the drug, and it’s so confusing. 

The 8th of August. 

Back to pretty much normal levels of pain today. I’ve binned off the pregablin because it has done fuck all for two weeks. I’ll be going back to see Dr. Blaney and we’ll discuss steroid injections. Stupid spine. 

Today has just been crocheting squares for the blanket. I did two or three this morning, in between visits to the kitchen to check on baking progress, because we made chocolate, ginger and sesame cookies and chocolate cupcakes with coffee frosting filling. 

After lunch, had a quick hairwash (very little colour is left in my hair now), then Mommy went to Grandma’s and I got back to crocheting. I’ve now got sixteen squares and I watched all the daytime crime dramas Sky Living has to offer. I think I’ll do four more and see how it looks. I don’t want the baby to grow out of it straight away!