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The 19th & 20th; So small.

August 21, 2017 — 1 Comment

The 19th of August. 

I can’t see this being a long entry. I woke up from a particularly horrific dream in which I was having some kind of scan, which I could see on a screen, and inside my belly was a catacombs made of my own teeth. It was very disturbing. 

This morning, I did a blog post while watching Saturday Kitchen. Then, the rest of my day was spent watching the other seven episodes of The Defenders, while I crocheted. Doing another doily. Mindless busy work. There was a brief, surreal interlude, in which a brass band marched down my street, playing a jazzy tune. I know it definitely happened because I filmed them as they walked away. 

The Defenders is very easy to binge watch. Sigourney Weaver goes full-on Theresa May in episode 6. Jessica Jones is still my favourite – I’m glad she’s getting a second season. 

Now, waiting on a kitten delivery. New floofs please.

The 20th of August. 

Oh lord the kittens are so small and cute. Harvey and Hugo are the babies, and Henrietta is the mum. She is very hissy and sighs with an alarming regularity, like she is utterly fed up. Must make her happier. Hugo is a scaredy cat, likes to cuddle up to his mum. I have petted him once. Harvey is my favourite because he is the smallest and he loves being stroked and played with. We have had a great time today. 

This morning was the usual, Sunday Brunch, watching Katherine school Tim and Simon on their casually sexist line of questioning. Plus popping in to see the kitties every so often. My cat whispering skills are going to be required with the two reticent ones. 

After lunch, I split my time between cat petting and crocheting. I have to be careful, going in to sit with them, because I lose time – I can just sit and stare at them for ages. So small. I wish they could stay this tiny forever. 

The 17th of August. 

I needed to smell the sea. 

It’s now a tradition that we go on a coastal holiday each year, but this year it didn’t really happen. Our time in Shaldon wasn’t blessed with great weather or health on my part so there were no seaside excursions. I feel like it does me good to be near the ocean, to smell the salt in the air and feel the sun, so while Daddy has been off this week, I proposed we have a trip to a beach. Today was our only available day, so off we went to Weston-super-Mare. 

We arrived about half twelve and joined the queue of people searching for a car park. Thankfully the parking fairy was with us, and we found a space on the street where we could park for free with the blue badges. Mommy had done some research into good fish and chip places, and had seen one called Winston’s which appeared to be pretty reputable. It was an excellent choice; the batter on the fish was really crispy and the chips weren’t too greasy, so if you ever do a trip, I recommend it. 

We them walked/drove all the way to the top of the beach, enjoying all the fun dogs that people had brought with them – always a bonus of the seaside. Once there was no more beach, we turned around and went back to the car, stopping for ice cream on the way. That was all I needed. 

We drove home via the Gloucester services, stopping for coffee and a small amount of shopping. Lots of traffic. My back hurts. Worth it though.

The 18th of August. 

Oof I am tired. Two busy days, now I need a proper lie-in. It would be good if I could fall asleep before one am. Bah. 

This morning, I wrote up the blog post of my anniversary day, and wrote about yesterday. Then I went to get that PetPlan forms from the cat room so I could fill in the paperwork for Betty’s adoption this afternoon. 

We had lunch while catching up on Wednesday’s Celebrity Masterchef, and shortly after it finished, Michael, Betty’s new owner, arrived. 

We ticked the various boxes and signed in appropriate places, then went to get Betty into the carrier. She was not keen, so we had to chuck a lot of Dreamies in so she could have the door shut behind her. Get some more tomorrow!

This afternoon, I watched the first episode of The Defenders, then some Buffy while using up wool crocheting a mandala from my new book. I keep getting pain in my fat arm, like my vessels are being squeezed. I see Andrew on the 31st. We’ll chat about it all then. 

The 1st of August. 

I am very tired because I woke up at ten past six for no reason, and couldn’t go back to sleep. I’ve had three coffees, but the caffeine has worn off and now I am weary again. 

I didn’t get up upon waking; I stayed in bed, listening to the radio for a while. When I did get out of bed, I did a blog post, and I phoned around for an appointment with somebody about my arm. I’m going to see a surgeon who does various procedures for lymphoedema, and she’s obviously very busy because the earliest I could see her is mid-September! Still, it’s before the clinic, and I need this fixing. 

I was at Black Sheep at 11.45 to get my hair cut. I saw June, as Michaela’s off until October, and now my back and sides are super short, with the top long. The last time the clippers were used so much on my hair was when we shaved it pre-chemo on my kitchen floor. Ah, memories!

After lunch, I went into town with Mommy who was giving blood. While she did that, I went shopping – I bought a skirt from Oasis, some wool from John Lewis, and I had a brow consultation at Benefit. I really had no idea what to do or use, and now I do! Then I got a text from Mommy who was finished, and we came home to find the towels that had been drying were wet again. British summer. 

The 2nd of August. 

I was woken up today by Daddy phoning me to find out where Mommy was. I didn’t know, because I had been asleep (she was here, just not near her phone), but I was glad he’d woken me because I’d been having a horrible dream in which Christine had got drunk and had sex in my bed, then she’d drawn all over my bedroom walls and I was trying to erase it, but everyone thought I was overreacting and her behaviour was fine which was really frustrating! Stupid brain. 

My day has been spent crocheting and assembling the panda. I finished off the body this morning, then we had lunch and watched last night’s Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders. Then this afternoon, I made the arms, ears, tail and scarf, then I put him all together! He is very cute but might look a bit terrifying to a new baby. I hope not. 

I have been needing lots of Rennies recently because my tummy is full of wind and I suddenly realised it might be to do with pregablin. Looked at the side effects and yep. Also it’s why I’m so much hungrier. Still not helping the pain. 

Had a lady come and see Bree with her daughter and grandson. They fell in love, and the little boy started crying when he realised they couldn’t take her home today! Bless.

The 30th of July. 

Not quite one’s average Sunday. The morning was fairly standard – Sunday Brunch, blog post. This week’s comedian pal appearing on the show was Joel, who ate some chips in order to make Nish lose a wager. 

After taking Grandma home from church, Mommy and I went into Sutton to get Pandora charms for today and August. I also got a chocolate dreamcake Krispy Kreme because it’s a day to celebrate. In the end, I went for the anchor charm at Pandora, because they describe it as the “symbol of hope” and hope was all we had at that point. My chances were 20% of 20%, which works out at 4%, and yet somehow, nine years since my second stem cell transplant, I am still here. 

When we got back, we had lunch, and I spoke to a girl who is interested in adopting Betty. She actually happened to be very near my house when we talked, so she came round straight away. Betty was her usual charming self, coming straight up and purring away like a champion. It seemed to go well; she’s gone away to think about it and fingers crossed she wants her. 

The 31st of July. 

My brain was very busy in the night, dreaming about all sorts of things. 

This morning, I worked on the panda head while communicating with Philippa to find out if James had sent my referral to the lymphoedema clinic. She said it had definitely gone, so then I rang the clinic who confirmed that they’d received it, but I won’t get an appointment until October! SIGH. I’m going to have to find someone else to see because I can’t do nothing for another two months. 

After lunch, I went up to the QE to see Dean. He was starting his chemo today so it was a good day to go before he starts feeling too ghastly. Although he wasn’t feeling wonderful today, bless him. Issues with chemo timing hadn’t helped, and pharmacy were being dreadful – his chemo was meant to be at one, but it still hadn’t appeared on the ward when I left at twenty to five. He is taking his mum to see Miss Saigon tonight and I really hope they got there because he’s been looking forward to this for ages. It was nice to meet his mum and younger brother; I have heard much about them so it was nice to have faces to put to names. 

Tonight I’m off to Denise’s for a Cats Protection meeting to try to work out what we’re going to do about homing. 

The 10th of July. 

One more day. Will have to find some activity to pass the time tomorrow while I count down the hours. I think a lot of crochet. 

Better sleep. This morning I wrote up a blog post (back on track, although Wednesday’s will be late), and I spoke to Nicola about the bloods. She rang the labs to ask about the biochemistry, and they denied all knowledge of it. Hmph. She said I could come into clinic this afternoon to have them done again, so after lunch, off we went. 

Arrived at the hospital just before two. Neil sent me down to the nurses who had the form, and I got stabbed again. That vein is going to stop cooperating. Anyway, the biochemistry has now been sent off again and if the labs disagree, they will get a telling off. 

I think we were back out within ten minutes of entering the car park, so after getting home, Mommy went back out to Grandma’s. I did some Cats Protection adoption admin while listening to the new My Dad Wrote A Porno, then it was Orphan Black and floof time. Bree sat on me for maybe a whole minute which sounds like nothing, but that’s the longest ever and I didn’t have to try to keep her there. She goes on the website tomorrow. I am prepared for the deluge of potential adopters. 

The 11th of July. 

Crocheted the day away. Up, breakfast, coffee, blah. Got out the doily I have been working on for the past few weeks. Most of the day has been WimbledonB and crochet. Just after twelve, we went to M&S to buy some flowers for me to give to Emelda (Andrew’s secretary) and got a pretzel and cinnamon swirl for lunch because why not?

This afternoon, back on the crochet with one eye on the tennis. I planned to go and sit with the kitties, but pretty much as soon as I sat down, Betty did a poo, so I left again. They smell absolutely awful; I cannot be in the room with one. So, back in the living room, I watched the last two episodes of season 3 of Orphan Black. It’s so easy to get through when there are only 10 episodes per season. 

I don’t know how much I’ll sleep tonight. The biochemistry hasn’t shown up on myhealth which is annoying/concerning. They can bleed me in the morning if necessary but ugh. I just want this to be over. I want to not have to wear oversized clothes or be able to make dents in my spongy tissue or feel my veins being squeezed. I want to feel like me again. 

One nice thing happened: a girl I went to Guides with sent me a message to say she has signed up to be a stem cell donor because of me. One more. 

The 26th of June. 

Ughhh NO PROGRESS. Rang Tracey this morning and she doesn’t even have me on her disc (whatever that means), despite saying ten days ago that she had my paperwork. She has to talk to the other person who does bookings, and they’re not in until tomorrow, so we’re ringing back tomorrow late morning/early afternoon. This is so hard. I feel like giving up. 

Mommy and Daddy have had an impromptu trip to Wales today because upon discussion last night, it was realised that today was the only day they could go. Someone had to stay behind to look after the kittens and considering what a day in the car does to my back, that was me. 

I don’t really know where my day went. I wrote up a blog post this morning, and I did some shouting at the Daily Politics before going to check on the kittens. They had put one of the mice in the litter tray, and we had a nice play until Betty decided to poo. 

To cheer myself up, I listened to the new episode of My Dad Wrote A Porno while I ate my lunch. Then I watched the season finale of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D and upset myself again because it was really sad when Hope disappeared. A man came to the door with a survey, and I had nothing better to do, so I took part, answering questions about whether I trust the government and if I am concerned about being a victim of cybercrime (I don’t and I am not). I suppose the rest of my afternoon was Orphan Black on Netflix and kitten petting. Now I’ve ordered pizza and am awaiting the return of my parents. 

The 27th of June. 

First thing I did this morning was email Andrew’s secretary. She must have gone straight to him, because about five minutes later, my phone rang, and it was the man himself. I tried to explain my frustrations, and I think he understood. He said he would get Tracey to sort it out and ring me back with a date. She hasn’t yet. He also said he thinks there could be a lymphoedema element, basically he is trying to prepare me for it not to work. If that happens, I don’t think he’d do the rib-removal surgery without me seeing a specialist first. However, not a lot of doctors really understand it very well. He better have a friend he can refer me to. I am not spending another six months like this. 

So I’ve spent a lot of my day staring at my phone. Mommy and I watched last night’s Great British Menu, then she went to Grandma’s. I watched a bit more of Orphan Black, and I’m just blown away by Tatiana Maslany’s ability to play so many characters and constantly act against herself. Felix is my favourite. I could well just blast my way through this show, considering I’m already halfway through the first series. 

A family came to view the kittens this evening. A couple with their six year old daughter who want two playful kittens. Now, mine might not be super friendly, but they do love to play. I got some toys out, and soon they were selling themselves. They want Brodie and Bailey, so now we just need to chip and neuter them and they can be adopted. Then find homes for Bree and Betty! Phew.

The 24th of June. 

Back to being not very warm. I liked the in-between weather, when it was about twenty. Oh well. Bloody British summer. Anyway, you don’t come here for meteorology. 

This morning I wrote up a blog post, idly watched some of Saturday Kitchen, then went to see the kittens. They’ve livened up since yesterday, although I could only see two of them. Obviously Betty is fine – she always runs right up to the door, chatting away. I rang up a chap who is interested in coming to view, so he and his wife are coming tomorrow. They can’t have any until they’re neutered so I’ve got some time with them still. 

After lunch, I’ve managed to while away the afternoon doing not much of anything. I did a chocolatey face mask, watched some tennis, and the latest episode of Nashville which had me an absolute wreck. Do not show me daughters watching their mother die because I cannot cope – it is my worst fear. 

So after that, I had to go and see the kittens again to cheer me up. They were much more forthcoming than usual – I got to stroke Bree, Betsy and Brodie, and they had great fun learning about shoelaces. 

Watching the footage of Jeremy Corbyn at Glastonbury made me quite emotional. So many people who believe in a world where hope triumphs over fear and where everyone gets a chance at a decent life. There is some light left. 

The 25th of June. 

Well it’s been a much busier Sunday than I am used to. I accidentally left the box of Dreamies out last night and they’ve eaten them all. I’d say there were 50 Dreamies in that box. So they were mental this morning. 

Becky came round about eleven. She’s had a super busy three weeks with report-writing and doing levels and having meetings about those, so no time to catch up until today, bless her. She got to meet the floofs and managed to get some cuddles, then we were joined by James. He has a play with the ones that were out – I think all the Dreamies made them more outgoing. They left when Alison rang about a holiday cottage, then after lunch, she came round to meet the kitties too. 

I had a couple coming to view the kittens this afternoon, and they arrived just before two. We thought they wanted two kittens, but they’ve decided one is enough (they already have two adult cats) so we had to try to work out which one would fit in best with their dynamic. Betsy presented herself first, and as is usually the way, it was love at first sight. I thought she’d be the one, as she’s so pretty, and she sits on me for the longest. They left after an hour and a half, and I’ve just got to sort out the neutering, then they can have her! And now I can let some other people view the rest. 

Since then, tennis, Grand Prix, bit of crochet. Everybody tired.