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The 6th of July. 

I must have done something terrible in a past life. I am currently on my third attempt at backing up my phone after I dropped it on the bathroom floor and the screen cracked in innumerable places. It has landed there many times and finally my luck has run out. Smashed. 

Day started off okay. Hospital this morning for bloods before venoplasty. There was literally nobody in the waiting room which was very disturbing, like a horror film. Thankfully nobody had been murdered, it was just quiet. Trish gave me a stab in the elbow, then I asked about having the PICC dressing changed and the nurse who was around wasn’t signed off on that. She had to get Nicola to come and supervise, then they couldn’t find the butterfly dressing, then they found the last one in the treatment room. Thankfully we did get it done without the line coming out or being shoved too far in. Phew. 

To town! Mommy was having an eye test, and I needed to go to John Lewis because the jacket I bought last week is now on sale for £37 less than I paid, and as they are never knowingly undersold, I was after some money back. The lady on the till was fine with this, she just had to corroborate my story and was happy to put the cash back on my card. Hooray! Then I went to Piccadilly and waited for Mommy to finish her eye test. Had a chat with Jenny about frames but all the ones I looked at were wrong for me. Can’t change mine anyway, they are iconic. Mommy appeared, and Jenny got busy frame-finding. She’s so good, she knows exactly what they have and what will suit you. We settled on some soft rainbow Volte-Face ones, now the horrible wait for new specs! At least it is not me, I get so antsy. 

Got home, ate lunch, phone smashed. Since then, been at the iMac trying to back up the phone. This is my last go, then I’m going to throw myself off the roof if it doesn’t work. 

The 7th of July. 

My back is not going to thank me. I was up until past midnight trying to back up my phone to no avail, and the computer chair is not comfortable. I then spent most of my afternoon either in the wheelchair or the car, so all of that combined is probably going to mean pain tomorrow. 

When I got up, the last backup hadn’t worked, so I tried just syncing it, and I went downstairs to have breakfast and stuff, before going back to see what I could try next. However, when I returned, it had done a successful backup! I don’t really understand how, but frankly, I don’t care. 

I had my appointment at the Stormfront shop at 2.20, but when I got there, the chap said they couldn’t fix it in store; they’d have to send it off for 7-10 days. Um, no. My only option was to see if any slots had become available at other stores. Birmingham was a bust – next Friday. But Solihull had one at 3.40, so I took it and we got back in the car. 

Over at the Touchwood Centre, I checked in with one of the iPad people, then was waiting for my turn when I saw a face I recognised – it was Stuart Yeadon, who I have not seen for about ten years. I had no idea he was back in town, so when it was my turn, he came to take my phone and we had a wee catch-up. He said they could just get it done by the end of the day, so we had to go bimble until 5.45. This meant I spent money. I bought two crochet books and some pants and socks from John Lewis, a Krispy Kreme, and a jumper that was half price from French Connection. We also had a chat with Christine after her dentist appointment, and eventually it was time for us to go back. All had been fine, only the screen had been replaced, so none of the backup stress was necessary! Still, I am just happy to have it back. 

The 14th of June.

It feels like we are just lurching from one tragedy to the next at the moment. Every week there is another atrocity, and it seems every single one is political. There is no doubt that the fact that this is a deprived area with poor residents, and that things have been done on the cheap will have made it worse, and the fire service were unable to tackle the blaze as effectively as they might have because they’ve been decimated by the cuts that Boris Johnson made. Heaven forbid there was a fire anywhere else in London. Just last year the Tories voted down a bill to force landlords to make buildings suitable for human habitation (surprisingly, 72 of them are landlords themselves), and Theresa May’s new top aide has been sitting on a review of fire regulations for months. They kill people. Every day. 

I had haematology clinic this morning, which was not enormously productive. I saw Praveen and updated him on my current circumstances, and he emailed Andrew. The most important thing was that we get some drugs, because my prescription got completely messed up when I was in.

I spoke to Emelda, Andrew’s secretary, and she has assured me that the paperwork has been sent and I should get a date for my next venoplasty very soon. I really bloody hope so; it was super warm today and I want to be able to show my arms without feeling like a freak . 

This afternoon, I hid from the news. I put on a sheet mask, watched Pretty Little Liars and iZombie, crocheted. I am lucky that I am able to escape from it. I can’t imagine the terror felt by those on the upper floors; if I were in that situation, I would find a way to kill myself. Absolutely petrifying. 

The 15th of June. 

I’ve been awake on and off since just before six this morning. It was too hot. Not surprising when you consider I still had my winter duvet on – it has been changed now so hopefully tonight I won’t be so warm. 

Quiet morning. Breakfast, coffee, then out to Black Sheep to get my hair cut at half twelve. Michaela was delighted by my FucktheTories necklace and immediately called Danyl over to see, who was straight in for a high five. I have decided he is going to be my colour guy now. Booked in with him next week. My hair was getting pretty long, so we decided to chop off all the back and sides. There’s only so much that can be changed when it’s this short already but Michaela can always come up with something. 

As I was leaving, I went to get in my chair and there was a lady sat by it with a great little chihuahua called Dolores. She was also a fan of my necklace and we had a photo together. 

Got home shortly before two, and this afternoon I have been crocheting, then unravelling because I changed colour and the new thread was thinner, so it has made the whole doily curl inward. Redo with a thicker one. The fluid in my arm makes it ache. 

The 3rd of January. 

Of course the day we cancel my chiro appointment because I feel like crap, my neck starts acting up. It was fine before today, almost as if it knows. So unhelpful. Still, we spoke to the QE this morning and I can go to clinic tomorrow so finally I might get some things done about my feet, hands and arm, which are the most pressing issues. 

The only other thing I did this morning was a blog post, and I had a nice sit with the kittens – trying to squidge them as much as possible before they go to the adoption centre. 

This afternoon, I had the joyous task of phoning lots of potential adopters. A couple of people have changed their minds or got kittens from elsewhere, so I could tick them off the list, and most of the other forms I had, I forwarded to the one fosterer who has most of the kittens in branch. 

Since then, back to crocheting. I think I’ll have another early night tonight; I’m still super tired, and seeing as I need to be up early for clinic tomorrow, I need all the extra minutes of sleep I can get. 

The 4th of January. 

Neck not so painful today, I knew it was just throwing a strop. Thankfully, clinic this morning was helpful. I saw a specialist reg called Praveen who I’ve not met before, but he was very good. He took what I said seriously, and has some solutions, or at least the beginnings of them. My hands and feet are probably GvHD, so just carry on with the steroid cream, and about the arm and the eyes, he went to talk to Ram. He came in to have a look and said to email their man in opthalmology (pretty sure they knew what it is but I need to see a specialist to be sure – probably an eye GvHD thing) and call Andrew Willis, which he did there and then. He wants a venogram and the request has been put in so hopefully that comes through quickly. 

Popped into town on the way home to get Grandma a birthday card and a present as it’s her birthday on Monday. Meant to get some thank you cards but I forgot because I’m a nitwit. 

This afternoon, I have been watching Nashville and Conviction while crocheting. Got two episodes of each watched, and I’m on the last stripe of the blanket. I haven’t actually tried to get in it yet – I will be mightily pissed off if it’s too small. It shouldn’t be. Fingers crossed. 

The 22nd of November. 

I think all of the discomfort has abated now. Still not going back to the gym though as I’m still bleeding more than I would like. 

I got a blog post done this morning before we had to go out. I was at the chiro having my back crunched, and thankfully there was not too much work to be done, just a very stiff neck. On the way home, we went to Tesco for stuff for baking (there’s some kind of Christmas fair at Grandma’s church on Thursday), then home for lunch. 

This afternoon, I spoke to the potential adopter I couldn’t get hold of yesterday, and gave her the details of the black and white adult cat who’s being advertised on the Cats Protection website. I’m waiting to hear back from the couple who came to see Archie last night – they loved him, but they loved the other two as well, so now I think they’re having trouble deciding. I hope they choose Archie, or I’ll feel so sad for him. 

I spent the rest of my time crocheting. A request was put in for a couple of hats for the aforementioned jamboree, so I knocked up two, for a toddler and a child. 

Really early start tomorrow. QE at 9. Yay. 

The 23rd of November. 

Awake at 5.45 today. I was wanted at clinic as early as possible because my cortisol levels were being checked. However, that did mean I could actually choose where to sit because the waiting room hadn’t filled up yet! Then I’d barely read any of my book when I got called in by Charlie Craddock. It was actually really good to see him instead of Ram because when I complained about the lack of pain team appointment, he said he would chase them for me, and he has slightly more clout than Ram. He then proceeded to dictate his letters (to my other consultants and the pain team respectively) while I was still sitting there which I always find super awkward but it’s good to know his chasing will definitely be done. Plus he was very complimentary about my Anthony Nolan work.

I had a big order for pharmacy, so while they were doing that, we popped up to TCT to see if they were interested in having a load of my books, which they were, so it was a good thing we’d brought them with us!

Before going home, we went into town so I could get a graph paper notebook (Moleskine appear to be the only place to stock them). Then this afternoon, I have been ringing more potential cat adopters, crocheting my Christmas scarf (it’s nearly there) and icing cakes for the church Christmas thing. 

Another early morning tomorrow but going to be worth it – Winter Food Show!

The 2nd of November. 

Another busy morning! Not busy enough though – should have done a blog post but I forgot all about it again. I have nothing on tomorrow though so I’ll have no excuse. 

Today was endocrine clinic. I thought I might just get my book finished while we waited for Andy, but people started talking to me because they thought my transplant was recent (short hair), so then I had to do a brief explanation of the past eight years, and I just hope I didn’t scare them too much. The appointment with Andy was fine – he did check if there was a referral to the pain team about me and couldn’t see anything on the system, so he’s going to chase that up. Then we went to see the pharmacist for some drugs, and on the way out, some paramedics came in to attend to a patient who’d had a problem. A clinic full of doctors but the actual clinic doesn’t have the kit that an ambulance does.

When we got home, we had lunch while watching the series finale of Taskmaster, then Mommy went to Grandma’s and I went upstairs to look at my books and decide what to get rid of. I spent an hour and a half removing books from shelves and filling bags with the ones I’m getting rid of. Currently there are four and a half bags full of books to go and I’m not even finished. I really had to stop because I was inhaling so much dust, I was beginning to suffer. I don’t even know what I will do with them – either various charity shops or a place that will find them useful. 

This evening, I have been finishing off the crocheting of one of my Christmas chaps, Claus the candle. He’s adorable. 

The 3rd of November.

Started the day with an early phone call from Sheila. She’d had Christina (the potential adopter of Amira and Ava) on the phone asking if she could pick up the kittens this evening. I don’t know why she didn’t ring me but that’s by the by. I have now spoken with her and explained that she can’t adopt them until she’s viewed them again here with the grandchildren, so that’s going to happen tonight instead. Fingers crossed it all goes well!

I had to stay out of my bedroom all morning because Mommy was doing more dusting and vacuuming so there are particles flying about all over the place that I didn’t want to be breathing in. That was fine, it meant I could work on Xaver the Christmas tree. So far he has legs and a body. I will hold off posting any photos until I’ve made all three. 

This afternoon, I gymmed. Shoulder press is still broken, boo. I suspect it might stay that way for some time, as it usually takes a while for things to get fixed. In terms of people, I am pretty sure I saw a girl who used to be on Hollyoaks who I know is local. Not something you can really go and ask though. 

Also I’m very amused by the High Court ruling on the triggering of Article 50 today. Mainly because Brexiteers are so angry and are saying it’s “Remoaners trying to subvert the will of the people ” even though it’s just THE LAW BEING ENFORCED, and they voted for Parliamentary sovereignty and now that’s what the court has ruled in favour of, they’re upset. 

The 18th of May. 

I feel very disappointed in today. I don’t know why – it has hardly been terrible. 

Left the house at half eight to get to clinic as early as possible. It didn’t take long for Andy to call me in, and after a poke and a prod, he requested an x-ray of my lumbar spine for when I was done in clinic. I was supposed to be back next week to see Ram, but Andy asked him if he could see me today and he could, so we waited. It was a good thing I’d taken my book because Ram didn’t call me in until ten to twelve. He requested an x-ray for my elbow, but that’s more to placate me – I don’t think he thinks there’s anything really wrong. Anyway. I got a long list of drugs to take to pharmacy, then toddled off to imagery for my x-rays. We bumped into Janet, the adopter of Monica, because she is an ambulance driver, and she had time to show us a couple of pictures and assure us she was okay which is good to hear. 

A lovely chap called Liam came to get me, and he had the most delightful lilting Irish accent. Scanned both sides of my right elbow, then I signed a form saying I can’t possibly be pregnant, and they did my spine from above and my right side. Lucky for them it’s easy to tell if my bones are in the right place. 

We were supposed to be going into town for some shopping but there wasn’t time – we’d just got home and had lunch before Mommy had to go to Grandma’s to meet her new social worker. I sat with the kittens, trying to decide what I’m going to make for Katherine’s daughter. It’s going to be an elephant – I’m just going to do it at warp speed. 

The 19th of May. 

I have been a crocheting machine of late. Been working very hard on the elephant today and hopefully I’ll finish it tonight. 

This morning I wrote up the blog post that I should have done yesterday, and supervised the kittens playing/fed them and changed their water because they had got food in it. I think they’re all pretty much a-ok now thank God. Please stay fine until Sunday. 

Rosemary came for lunch, so we had a chat for about half an hour held she and Mommy went to eat. I ate mine while catching up on Limitless, then started work on the elephant’s third and fourth legs. 

Rosemary left at two to go back and walk the dog, and Mommy was supposed to go and see Gill in hospital, but she was being moved to a rehab place so it wasn’t a good time. This meant we could have the trip to town we were going to have yesterday. I got a Fruition water bottle, and some more toy stuffing while Mommy took stuff back to M&S. 

Home and back to crocheting! Have to do one more ear and the tail, attach them, then he will be done!

The 24th of February. 

Ergh I do not relish getting up at half past six for early clinics and freezing my face in the wind, but I at least made some headway in my book, The Truth About The Harry Quebert Affair. We saw Kat and her mum who we haven’t seen in ages, so it was good to catch up with them, then before we knew it, Ram was calling me in. He’s requested an ultrasound for the fluid in my hand, is going to badger Andy Toogood about another bone density scan, and isn’t sure about the dizziness but if it happens again we’ll have to look at it more closely. We then spent nearly an hour waiting for pharmacy to fill my three bags and got home at half twelve!

This afternoon I crocheted and finished season 4 of Pretty Little Liars, oh the STRESS. Even though I know who A is, it’s still very tense and I’m still not sure how we come to the final conclusion. It’s all a bit ridiculous but I like it. 

Out again at quarter past five for another Old Hallfieldians meeting. There were seven of us tonight which is loads! It was a quick one tonight at Celia had to leave to go to the ballet, so we kind of boshed through the agenda. We have a new member, Rohan, who’s 34 so closer to my age which is nice. Then Tim brought me home. Had tea, now I am watching The BRITs and being very pleased with Adele. #FreeKesha 

The 25th of February. 

I had a horrible night – it took me ages to get to sleep, then I woke up at I don’t know what time and tossed and turned for a few hours, dealing with heartburn and a sore throat. To amuse myself I listened to the first few episodes of a podcast called My Dad Wrote A Porno and it is vastly entertaining, so if you can’t sleep you should listen to that. 

I decided to hold off on getting dressed until I’d had a few Strepsils and knew it the sore throat was sticking around or not. Thankfully they worked, so I could go and put gym clothes on for a trip there after lunch and a catch-up on last night’s Sport Relief Bake Off. 

Admittedly I didn’t spend as long in the gym as usual because I was so tired. I was also mildly put off my routine by a man who I’m pretty sure wasn’t wearing any pants. I saw more of him that I ever wanted to. 

Tonight I need to wrap Mommy’s presents because it’s her birthday tomorrow!

Oh and I can share my news about the phone call I had on Monday – I am going to be a Young Ambassador for Anthony Nolan! I have to go to London for two days of training in March, then I will be basically available to them for when they need patient stories to make an impact. I think I can do that. 

Giant Costa fingers.