Archives For crochet

The 18th of June. 

Too much warmth. Sleeping was not good. I have a sheet on my bed now so hopefully tonight it will be easier. I am not built for this weather. I prefer about eight degrees less than this. Low to mid-twenties is a good temperature. 

This morning was blog post and Sunday Brunch. Coffee, curtains closed. This afternoon, I’ve been counting down until kitty o’clock but now it’s here and they’re going to be late because another fosterer is delayed. Bahhh. After lunch, I started some new crochet (finished the doily last night but it needs ironing), then at 2 I went upstairs to lie in the dark and listen to Gardener’s Question Time because I’m very old. 

Back downstairs an hour later, crocheted until five, then found out about the hold up. Now writing, twiddling my thumbs. Dinner between six and seven so they can’t come then. I just hate it when people are unreliable. It’s not Shaki’s fault, but still it is frustrating. I want my floofs!

The 19th of June. 

Kitties arrived after dinner. They are super fluffy and gorgeous. The mum (Betty) is very friendly, she is very happy to be petted. The kittens (Brodie, Bree, Bailey and Betsy) are less forthcoming – will have to make them enjoy it. 

Obviously it is too hot to do much of anything. Last night was gross – my room is the hottest, even with the curtains closed and windows open. Bleah. 

For most of the day, I have been sat with the kittens, trying to get them used to me. Tennis on in the background, glasses of iced water. The kittens are bouncing around, exploring their new abode, having lots of pretend fights. I can tell which one is Brodie because he’s the only one with short fur. Betsy is the biggest, fluffiest girl, and she’s grey, so I think I can identify her. Bree and Bailey are both brown and look basically the same, but one is lighter. Which one that is, I am not sure. 

Wilting. Really not looking forward to bedtime. 

The 16th of June. 

I have a tiny bit of good news. I gave the ciclosporine eye drops another go last night, fully prepared for it to be awful again. But it was fine. It stung a bit, and first thing this morning was a bit tricky, but it was so much better than last time. So now that extra line of treatment for my eyes is up, let’s hope that helps. 

So it’s been a quiet day. I wrote up a blog post this morning and this afternoon I did some podcast listening and redid all the crochet I’d had to unravel. Now back to where I was, I can try to finish. Will have to do most of it tomorrow because on Sunday, new kitties come, so I will be super distracted. I need some tiny floofs. 

The more that comes out about Grenfell, the worse if gets. The Queen and Prince William visited victims today, Theresa May only went to the hospital where she could control the narrative. Then she goes to a church but nobody sees her and she sneaks out of a side door. No council-lead support; everything is being done by the volunteers. Everybody in power is doing the bare minimum, sometimes not even that. It’s inhumane. 

The 17th of June. 

So hot. So bright. Being on Voriconazole means I’m not really allowed to go in the sun (it majorly increases the risk of getting skin cancer and since we know someone who did get it because they didn’t know, I’m not taking any chances), so I can’t go outside and enjoy it, but even if I could, I’d be so photosensitive, I’d be blind. I miss being able to see without pain. 

It’s been mainly a day of crocheting. Want to finish the doily. And I’m doing very well – I’ve got one round left. Although focusing on tiny crochet hasn’t been great for the eyes. Finish a round, have a rest. Lots of drops. 

Very little to say. I iced some cakes and put sugar elephants and ducks on them. I climbed the stairs and it was fine. That was a really good feeling. It’s been so long since I didn’t need an immediate rest when I got to the top. 

The 14th of June.

It feels like we are just lurching from one tragedy to the next at the moment. Every week there is another atrocity, and it seems every single one is political. There is no doubt that the fact that this is a deprived area with poor residents, and that things have been done on the cheap will have made it worse, and the fire service were unable to tackle the blaze as effectively as they might have because they’ve been decimated by the cuts that Boris Johnson made. Heaven forbid there was a fire anywhere else in London. Just last year the Tories voted down a bill to force landlords to make buildings suitable for human habitation (surprisingly, 72 of them are landlords themselves), and Theresa May’s new top aide has been sitting on a review of fire regulations for months. They kill people. Every day. 

I had haematology clinic this morning, which was not enormously productive. I saw Praveen and updated him on my current circumstances, and he emailed Andrew. The most important thing was that we get some drugs, because my prescription got completely messed up when I was in.

I spoke to Emelda, Andrew’s secretary, and she has assured me that the paperwork has been sent and I should get a date for my next venoplasty very soon. I really bloody hope so; it was super warm today and I want to be able to show my arms without feeling like a freak . 

This afternoon, I hid from the news. I put on a sheet mask, watched Pretty Little Liars and iZombie, crocheted. I am lucky that I am able to escape from it. I can’t imagine the terror felt by those on the upper floors; if I were in that situation, I would find a way to kill myself. Absolutely petrifying. 

The 15th of June. 

I’ve been awake on and off since just before six this morning. It was too hot. Not surprising when you consider I still had my winter duvet on – it has been changed now so hopefully tonight I won’t be so warm. 

Quiet morning. Breakfast, coffee, then out to Black Sheep to get my hair cut at half twelve. Michaela was delighted by my FucktheTories necklace and immediately called Danyl over to see, who was straight in for a high five. I have decided he is going to be my colour guy now. Booked in with him next week. My hair was getting pretty long, so we decided to chop off all the back and sides. There’s only so much that can be changed when it’s this short already but Michaela can always come up with something. 

As I was leaving, I went to get in my chair and there was a lady sat by it with a great little chihuahua called Dolores. She was also a fan of my necklace and we had a photo together. 

Got home shortly before two, and this afternoon I have been crocheting, then unravelling because I changed colour and the new thread was thinner, so it has made the whole doily curl inward. Redo with a thicker one. The fluid in my arm makes it ache. 

The 12th of June.

It’s Daddy’s birthday!

He had already gone to work by the time I got up, which was a good thing because I hadn’t written his card yet. We’re going to take him to the Pink Floyd exhibition in London for his present, so I didn’t have to worry about that.

I had a phone call with Anthony Nolan this morning because they need examples of post-transplant care, so I was telling her how excellent mine has been. I know not everyone is so lucky. Then I had a chat with Nationwide because they had frozen my debit account for no apparent reason and hadn’t told me. It turns out that I had used it at a cashpoint or on a website that has left me exposed to fraud so they’ve had to cancel it. Well, that’s fine, but they could have sent me a letter? I’ll get a new card,it’s all fine.

This afternoon, Mommy and I went into town to take back all the kimonos I didn’t need. I also needed to get some facewipes, then we went into Selfridges to get Daddy some token bits – essentially fudge. I also bought myself some espresso chocolate spread so I’m very much looking forward to my toast in the morning.

Once home, I finished crocheting the bear, so he can go in the post this week!

The 13th of June.

I am annoyed and sad. Finally managed to speak to Tracey (the booking coordinator) and she hasn’t even had the paperwork yet. I have haematology clinic tomorrow so we’ll get them to chase Andrew. It’s all well and good for him to say “Yes we need to do another venoplasty” but if he doesn’t send the paperwork for three weeks I’m going to have to wait even longer for this nightmare to be over. It has been six months and it should not be this hard.

My alarm didn’t go off this morning so I didn’t wake up until quarter past ten. Thankfully I didn’t have anything that needed doing, but I still don’t like waking up that late. I got to have my coffee spread on toast for breakfast though, so there was that.

Since talking to Tracey early this afternoon, the heavy cloud has descended. I don’t think it’ll be a long-term storm, but it’s here all the same. I’ve just sat crocheting, listening to podcasts, trying not to think about it. I’m just so tired and it feels like nobody is trying.

The 10th of June.

Is been a weird sort of day. Back home, back in my own bed (which was beautiful), but outside of our lives, the world is imploding. Part of me wants to avoid the news until it is all sorted but part wants to get up and fight for what is right because five more years of what we have been enduring is a death sentence , and that is not an exaggeration.

I might be feeling buoyed because I have just watched Wonder Woman. I am ready to kick the asses of a thousand men. We went to a 2.20 screening, and about five minutes before we were due to leave, Mommy got a phone call from Grandma’s home because she had fallen (her dining chair broke), she’d hit her head and was refusing medical treatment, so she had to go down there to convince her otherwise.

There was nothing Daddy and I could do, so we went to the film. There were some pretty terrible people in the screen (who takes a seven year old to a 12A?) so I had to ignore them but that wasn’t too difficult. It is a decent film – there are some holes and I had major issues with continuity and Ares just doing the whole “villain explaining his plan” – but I still enjoyed Gal Gadot being super badass. I liked the beginning part the best though. All the women being strong and awesome. More of this all the time! Show little girls we can fight.

Grandma has gone to hospital and is having a CT. I think she is going to be okay.

The 11th of June.

My bed is so great. I won’t mention it again (until my next admission). I have just missed it a lot.

This morning was Sunday Brunch and apparently the finale of season 2 of Scream, although there is another one left on Netflix? I don’t really understand. However, I feel quite smug as I had thought that Kieran might be the killer since he showed up at the funfair (sorry if that’s a spoiler but oh well). He was too quick.

Grandma came to join us for lunch – she is fine, just a bit bruised. I say “lunch”, but it wasn’t until five. She sat in the back room and watched the tennis (good thing we have no kitties at the moment), and I did much crocheting. I’m making another bear, this time for Jodie who was in the year below me at school and is expecting her first child.

Got my hair washed, and I had a really nice lie down with traditional Sunday afternoon radio. I also achieved quite a milestone – I climbed the stairs without oxygen and didn’t feel like I was going to die! Well done me. Maybe there is some hope for the rest of this year.

The 6th of June. 

Today has been pretty lame, ranked in terms of holiday fun time. The weather was not terrible, so it was felt we should go out. I was woken up by a child playing basketball outside my window which was not ideal, but I refrained from putting a passive-aggressive note through the door of the owners of said basketball hoop. If it happens again tomorrow, I will be less accommodating. 

Daddy and Christine wanted to go to a castle, which did not sound appealing, so they dropped Mommy and I off in Torquay so we could do a bit of shopping while they looked at the ruins. We spent about an hour and a half in a nice coffee shop, having a tasty lunch and beverages. I had a mozzarella, tomato and pesto bagel with a carrot and orange juice, although I took the tomatoes out. Don’t want those. Then I had a coffee and we shared some vegan chocolate banana bread which was excellent, but it was demolished before I had a chance to take a photo. We were thinking about going, but then an old man sat down and started talking to us, starting with the premise of the election but he actually ended up telling us about how he is having to move because his landlady’s husband is a weed addict and he wants to start a singing group in which they sing old French songs in a Black Country accent because he thinks it would be fun. All this while eating two croissants with butter and jam. He was a curious fellow. We did have to leave as we had a jigsaw to buy, so we went in search of that. It turns out Torquay is quite shit in terms of shopping. We tried several places, and finally found one in WHSmith, where I also found a Father’s Day card. Not got Daddy a birthday card yet but nevermind. 

My eyes started being problematic, and we had nowhere else left to go, so we started trawling places in desperation, waiting to be picked up. We even went round Wilko’s, where they were selling my facewipes for more expensive than in Superdrug, shockingly. 

I was very happy to see the car arrive so I could shelter from all the bright light. Honestly, if it gets even vaguely sunny, I am essentially blind. Really hoping it is kind of dull on Thursday when we go to Michael Caines’ restaurant. 

Back at the house, I made my contribution to the jigsaw by finding all the bits of the two windows in the picture. That was enough for my back, so I then returned to the sofa where I have been curled up ever since. 

 

The 7th of June. 

One day out in the wheelchair/car and I am fucked for the next one. Been hobbling all day. Nevermind the fact that Mommy fried some meat last night and I obviously can’t cope with being in the vicinity of that either because my sats are only just getting back to normal. People are only allowed to bake, roast, boil or steam things near me, thank you. 

I was not woken by basketball today, thankfully. Instead, it has been a very quiet day – Daddy and Christine went to the tiny zoo this morning, while Mommy and I stayed in. She cross-stitched, I crocheted! Actually was able to focus on it. I had to unravel the doily I had been working on, because I can’t remember what size hook I was using, but I’ve started a new one and I’ve made a note of the hook, so if I have to stop again, I won’t have the same problem. 

When Christine and Daddy got back, we ate lunch while watching today’s Pretty Little Liars (FINALLY things actually progressed) and I had a very tasty crab sandwich from one of the nearby coffee shops. I was then left alone while everyone went shopping to buy dinner, so I watched an episode of Scream and before I knew it, they were back again! Time for iZombie. (Yes it seems on holiday I behave exactly as I do in hospital.)

It is the last day of election campaigning. Tomorrow, the people vote. Obviously, I have already sent off my postal vote. Part of me is hopeful. The other part is terrified. I am so afraid of what I might wake up to on Friday morning. 

The 4th of June. 

Recovery day. I was woken by the dawn at a ridiculous time again but today I put a flannel over my eyes and went back to sleep until half past nine. Then I had to heave myself out of bed which was not easy because my back was fucking awful, having been sat in terrible chairs all day yesterday. 

There was a family get-together at a pub at one o’clock, so we arrived to big hugs from Hilary and Jeremy (both she and I were suffering a little) and took seats next to Tilly, Sophie and Peter. Inevitably, we ended up discussing London and the events of last night. I can’t help but feel this is why we need a Labour government more than ever, because the Tory Theresa May way is evidently ineffective, particularly when she has decimated the police service and accused them of “crying wolf” when they warned her how that would end. 

The mood lifted when we were brought food – life seems a little bit less dark when you are surrounded by family and mac’n’cheese. I was having to eat with one hand while I used the other as a visor because my eyes were not tolerating any light today. It has been difficult. 

I got to a point at which I had to go to the bathroom, which I really didn’t want to have to do because I had to walk and it was pissing it down with rain. I had Mommy walk with me, and as soon as I got inside I had to commandeer a chair from a random table so I could get my breath back. I suddenly became aware of how pathetic I must have looked when I heard Mommy say “It’s okay, she just needs to get her breath back”. Yeah, there’s nothing that can be done to help, I just need to breathe. We got Daddy to bring the oxygen for me to return to the marquee. Couldn’t do that again. 

For the last hour, our table was joined by John and Maddie (who had been there already, but mingling with other people) and we talked about the amount of medical professionals who had been there last night, and plans for the rest of the week. They are going to Falmouth for a few days before they go on honeymoon, so I was recommending all my favourite places. 

I think we left just after three? I curled myself up in the car with the oxygen, much like last night, except today I was a bit damp too thanks to the rain. We took Taid back to his hotel, then home, where I ate the brownie I bought at the Gloucester services and Christine and I watched last night’s Doctor Who. I’m very tired. 

 

The 5th of June. 

Rain. So much rain. I thought it best to stay inside. 90% of my day has been spent on the sofa, which has been so much better for my back. I can stand a bit more upright today. 

Most of my mornings right now involve trying to adjust to the daylight, creating a visor with my hands, listening to the news. I had to mute it today when Theresa May started her speech having a go at Jeremy Corbyn when she has LITERALLY BEEN IN CHARGE FOR SEVEN YEARS. Anyway. 

Mommy and Daddy went out about noon to have lunch with Taid, then take him to the service station where he was meeting his coach to Looe. Christine stayed with me (I was just not up to going out for the fourth day in a row) and she bought us lunch from the bakery round the corner. I had a chicken mayonnaise sandwich and a vast Belgian bun – really tasty and a good bake (as Mary and Paul would say) but really enormous. I was incredibly full afterwards. We noticed Pitch Perfect 2 has arrived on Netflix so we watched that while we ate and had a lovely time singing along (as did the crow that has been sat outside our window all day). 

I actually managed to do a small amount of crochet today for the first time in weeks – just a small pocket to keep my eye drops in (they have to be kept out of the light). Still, it is a start. I still have a doily to go back to but I’m not sure which hook I was using for it. Erk. 

Jesus Christ I am so fucking tired. Apparently we might have a venture out tomorrow. I want to stay in bed.