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The 14th of June.

It feels like we are just lurching from one tragedy to the next at the moment. Every week there is another atrocity, and it seems every single one is political. There is no doubt that the fact that this is a deprived area with poor residents, and that things have been done on the cheap will have made it worse, and the fire service were unable to tackle the blaze as effectively as they might have because they’ve been decimated by the cuts that Boris Johnson made. Heaven forbid there was a fire anywhere else in London. Just last year the Tories voted down a bill to force landlords to make buildings suitable for human habitation (surprisingly, 72 of them are landlords themselves), and Theresa May’s new top aide has been sitting on a review of fire regulations for months. They kill people. Every day. 

I had haematology clinic this morning, which was not enormously productive. I saw Praveen and updated him on my current circumstances, and he emailed Andrew. The most important thing was that we get some drugs, because my prescription got completely messed up when I was in.

I spoke to Emelda, Andrew’s secretary, and she has assured me that the paperwork has been sent and I should get a date for my next venoplasty very soon. I really bloody hope so; it was super warm today and I want to be able to show my arms without feeling like a freak . 

This afternoon, I hid from the news. I put on a sheet mask, watched Pretty Little Liars and iZombie, crocheted. I am lucky that I am able to escape from it. I can’t imagine the terror felt by those on the upper floors; if I were in that situation, I would find a way to kill myself. Absolutely petrifying. 

The 15th of June. 

I’ve been awake on and off since just before six this morning. It was too hot. Not surprising when you consider I still had my winter duvet on – it has been changed now so hopefully tonight I won’t be so warm. 

Quiet morning. Breakfast, coffee, then out to Black Sheep to get my hair cut at half twelve. Michaela was delighted by my FucktheTories necklace and immediately called Danyl over to see, who was straight in for a high five. I have decided he is going to be my colour guy now. Booked in with him next week. My hair was getting pretty long, so we decided to chop off all the back and sides. There’s only so much that can be changed when it’s this short already but Michaela can always come up with something. 

As I was leaving, I went to get in my chair and there was a lady sat by it with a great little chihuahua called Dolores. She was also a fan of my necklace and we had a photo together. 

Got home shortly before two, and this afternoon I have been crocheting, then unravelling because I changed colour and the new thread was thinner, so it has made the whole doily curl inward. Redo with a thicker one. The fluid in my arm makes it ache. 

The 1st of July. 

July already! It has felt like it occasionally today, and hopefully the weather forecast stays good for Hallfield Day tomorrow!

Today has not entirely gone to plan. I was expecting Shaki sometime around nine with the larger carrier for us to take the kittens to the vet in later. However, she had to go elsewhere, but she had seen Jen at the vet and had given it to her to bring round. So all morning, I put off getting in the shower and shaving my legs pre-holiday, waiting for her to come. After lunch, it really couldn’t wait any longer, so I went upstairs and hoped she’d materialise while I was in the shower. 

Once I was done, she still hadn’t been, and it was half past two, so I called Shaki to see if she knew what was going on. She then rang Jen and went by her house, but she wasn’t in, so she was going to come here at half three with a different carrier and we’d go together. However, Jen arrived shortly after, so I let Shaki know, and we herded all five kittens into the carrier (tempted them in with food). 

Had a great time at the vet; met a Labrador called Mabel, a big orange Oscar lookalike called Ferret, a little puffy dog and a TINY PUPPY. I had to control myself and not get too excited. I think it was a spaniel? Super cute. The kittens were all fairly well-behaved with Rory the vet, then we gave them to Shaki, and she took them plus two ferals from this morning home with her. 

The 2nd of July. 

Another day that has not really gone as expected. No problem though. On holiday now – hooray!

I got up at eight (earlier than usual) so I had plenty of time to get all my things ready for holiday. I had a list, because otherwise I would definitely forget things. I have previously forgotten to take pyjamas so lists are important. This time I’ve missed spare eye ointment. I won’t necessarily need it but it’s better to have extra. Ergh. 

I was as ready as I could be by twelve, so I ate a toasted teacake (I needed something to keep me going until we stopped at the Gloucester services for lunch), and Daddy took me to Hallfield Day. My arrival coincided with a very heavy rain shower, so I stayed in the marquee where I saw Mark Velangi! He is my haematology consultant from BCH whose children go to Hallfield, and I finally got to meet his daughter who is a delight. She’s also best friends with the daughter of Shiva, who is on the OHS committee. The rain came and went, and I spent my time talking to Mark and his family, Old Hallfieldians, and people with dogs – they had dog agility going on so I got to pet the nice ones and stayed away from the scary barky ones. 

Mommy and Daddy picked me up at three, but they wanted to talk to Mark so we started for another half an hour, gassing away until we really needed to leave. Four hours later, after a stop for lunch and a fight with the garage of the property, we are here! Let the relaxing commence. 

The 12th of May. 

A day of mainly driving so not a great deal to report. 

Got up early because we needed to take the kittens to Shaki at the vet at 10:30 as she’s taking them to be neutered tomorrow so Simon can pick them up on Saturday. They were very good at travelling, barely made a sound, they just looked at me mournfully through the bars of the cat carrier. 

We were supposed to be setting off at twelve, but that went out of the window when Daddy discovered a nail in one of his tyres, so he had to take it to be fixed before we could go anywhere. We finally left the drive just after half past one. 

It has been a very uneventful journey. I crocheted three cat legs, listened to nostalgic 90s sunshine music, and I resisted the urge to buy a brownie batter Krispy Kreme at the services. Oh and we saw many tiny baby sheep!

Now I’m sitting on the single bed in the room up all the stairs, and I am going to read Stalker by Lars Kepler until it is time for dinner. I have identified one dish on the menu that I am prepared to eat (everything now involves aspects like “soy sauce meringue” or “mango and alfalfa sprouts”). Breakfast looks more promising – do I choose French toast or buttermilk pancakes?

The 13th of May. 

I am in need of vegetables. I have eaten a lot of artery-clogging food today. 

I had a much better sleep then I did last time we stayed at this place – I was still warm but I got rid of a layer and slept like a log. I met Mommy and Daddy for breakfast at 9 and I went for the French toast. It was scrumptious. I got a phone call from Shaki after I’d finished, to discuss the kittens’ bowel habits. After a lengthy chat about what they’ve been eating and when certain things have changed, they will now all be staying with us until at least Wednesday when they will hopefully be back to normal. 

The weather was glorious, so we packed up the car and had a drive round the Great Orme before going to pick up Taid. When we arrived, he was still having his breakfast so we amused ourselves while he got on with getting ready. He’d changed his mind about the lunch venue because he wasn’t enamoured with the service at our original destination, so we went to The Castle in Conwy. 

The menu choice was absolutely vast, but I eventually settled on the Saltimbocca sandwich, which was a fried sandwich stuffed with mozzarella, parma ham and sage-infused chicken. So good. Conversation mainly revolved around a grave that we have the deed to and whether we put a stone on it or not. Such excitement. 

When we’d finished, Daddy and Taid went to a clock shop because Taid was having an issue with one he’d bought from there, while Mommy and I went to the ice cream parlour across the road. I got two scoops, one salted caramel and one coffee, while Mommy had one of peach ripple. Then we sat on a wall outside in the sunshine and watched all the dogs that walked past.

Back at Taid’s, Mommy and I sat quietly in the corner for an hour while Daddy installed our old tv in the place of Taid’s. Once he’d plugged it all in, it became apparent that the better screen showed up the dodgy signal Taid gets, and in the end, he decided he wanted his old tv back on which you can’t tell that the picture is crap. 

Having sorted all that, it had got to quarter to five, and we really had to get going. Three and a half hours later, we are home! Becky has just been round to chat about her new job and other life events, and soon it will be time for bed. 

The 6th of May. 

Last night, I had a dilemma about which of my new books to read. That’s fixed, as I have spent my day reading The Girl on the Train. I figured that I could get it done in a day and I was correct – I sat in the kitten room all afternoon while they ran around, until Freya started eating the cable ties on the cage and I had to put them back in or I worried she’d hurt herself. 

This morning I mainly lounged around in my pyjamas, wrote up a blog post, and I rang Dr. Robinson’s secretary but had to leave a message as she wasn’t there. When she rang back, I explained what had been going on and that I would really like to see Dr. Robinson before my appointment in January. The first time she could offer me was in September which will not do, but she can’t overbook a clinic. However, she has given me the number of the clinical nurse specialist who I can ring on Monday and she can add me to a clinic so I feel happier about that. 

That is all, really! I just read all afternoon for hours, which I rarely do anymore. I used to read so much more when I was younger, devoured books when I was in hospital, but stopped for a long time. It’s good to get back to books. 

The 7th of May. 

Christ, my back canes. We’re going to Wales on Thursday and I don’t even want to think about how it’s going feel after three hours in the car. 

My day did not go as planned. I was informed last night about a chap who was interested in one or two of the kittens, so I gave him a call this morning and we arranged for him to come round to look at them this evening as I was going to be out this afternoon. 

Daddy and I were going to see Florence Foster Jenkins at half past two, but that got derailed. I went into the kitten room to let them run around for an hour before we went out. I’d been in there for forty minutes, and Frieda had gone to all three litter trays more than once, but not left anything in them. I rang Shaki who didn’t pick up, so I rang Jen, who said to keep an eye on her but as the rest of her behaviour was normal, she might just be practising. However, just after she hung up, Frieda left some blood in a tray and fortuitously, at that moment, Shaki rang me back. I told her and she happened to be 5 minutes away so she came round and we found more bits of blood in other trays. We decided to ring the vet, who told us to bring her in. 

When we arrived, there was just us and a boy, about sixteen, with his dad and their Westie who was just lying in his bed, evidently unwell. The boy was in obvious distress, so I took over some tissues because he didn’t appear to have any. The dog’s name was Chipper, and his kidneys were packing in. I could sympathise, because that was Oscar’s problem. I just crouched by Chipper and stroked him while they talked. I think it helped? To talk about happier times. Then the vet came to take them through so I gave him another tissue and went back to Mommy, Shaki and Frieda. We talked a bit about the chap coming later, and it wasn’t long before we were called in and the two guys came out, both fighting back tears. Losing a pet is the worst. 

Not sure what’s the matter with Frieda. Cystitis or colitis but we can’t tell and can’t treat both. The thermometer didn’t have any blood on but that’s not confirmation. She’s had a 48 hour antibiotic injection and another worming tablet, and she’s been super sleepy all afternoon. Since I was back early, I rang the potential adopter to see if he wanted to come early, so they did. Just as we had a very heavy, thundery shower. He and his two sons came, and Frieda and Freya were conked out on my lap. Freddie played around, and Freya allowed them to pick her up, she even climbed up onto the older boy’s shoulder. They really want lap cats, and I think they’re going to take both girls. When Frieda is better. 

 

The 27th of January. 

I have a headache. Don’t know where that’s come from – I’m not dehydrated, my blood pressure isn’t high, so I’m just ignoring it. 

Today has been rather productive. This morning was a blog post and holding myself back from ringing up This Morning. They were having a discussion about people wanting to take their dogs into shops and restaurants, and nobody was making the point that those places are hard enough to get around in a wheelchair, I can only imagine the hell they would become when filed with dogs too. I mean, I love them, but I love them outside and in people’s homes. 

This afternoon: crochet and Netflix. All the giraffe legs are done now, just tail, ears and “ossicones” (horns) left, then assembly! Soon Elle, Luna, Ellie, Esmé and I will have our baby day (thankfully, having one’s own baby is not mandatory).

I got a great book from the Easts for my birthday called My Crochet Doll and it’s full of patterns for doll, then loads of outfits and accessories, even pants and socks! That is definitely going to be my next project. 

The 28th of January.

I think the headache I had last night might have been from a lot of squinting I’ve been doing. I shall elaborate later. 

I finished almost all of the pieces of the giraffe last night, I just had one ossicone left to do this morning, then I finished stuffing the feet and I put her together. Looking at her from across the room now, I might add another patch – there’s a gap that is a little large for my liking. 

After lunch, we went into town for my eye test, and to buy thank you cards. I had a lot of discussion with the optician lady about what’s been going on stuff with my eyes, with the dryness, the Lacrilube/Vitapos problem, the sudden apparent decline in my vision. She checked the health of my eyes and the old scar from the GvHD, and that all looks fine, there’s no infection, but they did seem to be really quite dry. Then, when checking my actual vision, it became clear that I’ve got real problems focusing (hence the aforementioned squinting) because the fluid levels on the front of the eye are fluctuating, which is causing issues with my ability to see shapes clearly sometimes. She’s going to write to my GP recommending some eye drops for them to prescribe, and Miss Rauz at the Eye Hospital to ask her to see me. I’ve got to try to stabilise the moisture levels, then get my eyes tested again in a few months. Oh, the issues that cancer has left me with. It’s never quite over. 

The 30th of September. 

A less depressing day, for sure. I was at the chiropractor this morning which I definitely needed because I’d strained my neck at the gym. It now keeps clunking every time I look to the left, so I’m hoping it settles while I’m asleep tonight. 

I had to go out again this afternoon for renal clinic, but until then, I worked on another hat for Christine using the wool I bought on Monday. I might give her both and see which one she likes best, or she can just keep both. I got the majority of it done before we left at about half past two, then we arrived at the QE and we ended up having to pull over in the car so I could go in the wheelchair to my appointment while Mommy parked as there were no immediately visible spaces. 

She met me in the waiting room and we sat there for over an hour before being called in. We were prepared for this and had reading material, but a lady next to us was livid even though she was not new and ought to have been used to it. Nothing much to report from Dr. Hewins. He’s added Doxasozin to go with the Irbesartan, and apparently my kidneys are slightly underperforming so there’s a lot of protein in my urine but he’s not very concerned just yesign

The 1st of October. 

Busy day! I was up earlier than I had expected to be after a look at my diary showed me that my hair appointment this morning was an hour earlier than I thought! I wanted a total change, some drastic colour, so I showed James some pictures of autumn leaves to use as inspiration and we came up with a plan. I was hunched over Vogue (I have to, to be able to read it without my glasses) when I saw a small dog at my feet! A lady had brought her Yorkshire Terrier with her and was sat on the other side of the mirror to me so I gave it a little pet. Somebody else came in with a baby too, so I was having a great day. I had a little chop from Michaela, tidying up the sides, back and fringe, and I am to make Blossom a flower hat. 

Afterwards, we had a trip into Sutton to get some micellar water and cotton wool pads, then we went to the sorting office to pick up a parcel we missed yesterday. 

We came home for lunch, then went back out into town because I’d seen a dress on the Topshop app that I wanted to get, but after looking around the main shop and the Selfridges one, we couldn’t see it anywhere. I decided to keep looking elsewhere for a substitute and actually found a really good one in Oasis which I purchased before we came home again. 

This evening I have wrapped Christine’s presents which was really fiddly because they were of no real shape. I hate doing untidy wrapping. 

The 31st of August. 

It’s always a good day when I make a new dog friend. Our paper got delivered to a totally different road to the one we live on, but the lady who lives there brought it round while walking her dog. He was very excited about meeting us and held on to my arm. Super cute. 

I was planning on going to pilates this morning but it wasn’t on, so instead I wrote up a blog post and made all the component parts for the adult fox hat except the eyes. 

The gym was really busy today – I assume because people weren’t at work so they came earlier than they might normally. I got there when it was only raining a little bit. Summer is definitely over. All my dresses will go back downstairs into Grandma’s old wardrobe and my knitwear obsession will reignite. I must try to not buy too many jumpers this year. 

The 1st of September. 

Last night I had a rather horrific dream in which my teeth were falling apart in slices so little cross-sections of teeth kept coming out of my mouth. I was really pleased to wake up to find them all intact. 

This morning I finished the adult fox hat so need the address of its recipient and sent the two for little people. One more to do! I also rang the Cats Protection Society to talk to someone about kitten fostering but no one’s phoned me back yet. 

Mommy’s friend Rosemary came for lunch so while they had their soup, I caught up on Nashville and Parks & Rec. She was admiring my crocheted things. She thinks I should set up a business selling my wares but I don’t want it to become something I don’t enjoy because of orders and stress. 

Not a lot else has happened – waiting for phone calls from the cat people and Dr. Hewins’ secretary about my blood pressure drug because my potassium gone up. I’ve got to go to haematology clinic tomorrow to get my bloods checked again.