Archives For Fortnum & Mason

The 3rd of December.

I have had many jobs to do today, and have completed most of them. The important ones, anyway.

Once dressed and full of festive coffee, I got two blog posts done (the one I typed yesterday didn’t work), then set about writing some promotional blurb for this event I am planning (I promise details next week) and it is harder than you might think! It took me the whole of the rest of the morning. It needed to be under 200 words and I am very bad at being concise.

After lunch, I did some more of my crochet gifts while we skipped through the X Factor final (let’s not talk about it), then I painted my nails while we caught up with last week’s Howard’s End. Wrote some more emails, and now I am about to plan where Mommy and I go tomorrow in London and in what order. Christmas shopping trip!

The 4th of December .

I am on a train and my back hurts. It has been a long day and my left eye has been excruciating for most of it. I have positively flooded it with drops to try to alleviate some of the pain. Occasionally it hurts less and I am taking the opportunities as they come.

I woke up at twenty past five for no good reason and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I tossed and turned as I listened to podcasts to kill the time.

Coffee, toast, advent calendar biscuit (I decided I probably wouldn’t want to eat it by the time I got back this evening). At New Street for ten o’clock, where I discovered Nationwide were having issues so I couldn’t withdraw any money or use my debit card. Not ideal for a day of Christmas shopping. Still, it got resolved while we were on the train, so I got some cash at Euston and breathed a sigh of relief.

Started at Harrods where we spent half an hour getting lost trying to find the café, having to traverse the hell that is the Toy Kingdom before finally finding the place to sit and drink coffee and eat lunch. I had a braffle, which is a brioche-waffle hybrid filled with Welsh rarebit and it was delicious. We were entertained by the very stressed manager telling all the staff that it was imperative that they smile, and when he got angry he started speaking Italian so we couldn’t understand. The one thing I hate about Harrods is that no matter when you go, it always seems to be full of children. Why are they not at school? I am very much of the Victorian position that children should be seen and not heard except I don’t want to see them either unless I have chosen to spend time with them. All I purchased was a salted caramel brownie. Disappointing this year!

Next stop Fortnum & Mason which was much better. I only bought my festive Buck’s Fizz marmalade but Mommy got several things so it was worth it. We only go to the food floor in there because the lifts are ghastly and I cannot be arsed. So then we went to Liberty via Cinnabon (I cannot pass it without buying one, it would be a disservice to Dean) and there I found joy in a felt sausage dog tree ornament and the haberdashery. The wall of wool is my happy place. However, I discovered the one in John Lewis is even better. I know I should have known this, but we hadn’t been before so didn’t know its true beauty. So much wool. I bought some that I would never normally have purchased but my eye really hurt and I was sad so I made a decision of self-pity.

Last stop Selfridges. I bought an elf gingerbread man. But he was all. I saw some fun wrapping paper but it would be ridiculous to buy that in London and besides, I have not decided on a theme yet and I can’t do that until I have got all my gifts. I have bought one present today, only a couple left to go. I am so uninspired this year.

Now on our way home. I am so looking forward to a comfortable chair and taking off my eye make up.

The 30th of November. 

Blargh. You know how when one thing gets better, something else gets worse? My back has been really bad today, for no real reason that I can think of, and tomorrow will make it worse because I’m going to be my wheelchair for most of the day. 

Obviously, being in pain, I have not been very busy. This morning, I wrote up a blog post, and made the other two unicorn legs. He (She? Its name is Chablis) just needs assembling now  

After lunch, I did some Cats Protection stuff – I got to speak to a lady who liked one kitten who is now reserved with his brother, but I told her who is coming up soon and she seemed happy with that. Still couldn’t get hold of a different woman on the phone, and I’ve already emailed her, so today I’ve sent her a text and just hoping she’ll get back to me. Then I synced my iPhone (so tedious) and updated the music on my iPod so I can listen to it on the train tomorrow. 

We’re going to see my friend Will Barton in The Libertine and have some tasty foods. It’s going to be an excellent way to start advent. 

The 1st of December.

It’s advent! Be prepared for my unrelenting festive spirit all month. It’s been a very busy day, down to London and back, and next week we do it all again!

This morning seemed like it might be stressful because there were train issues between Wolverhampton and Birmingham International, but thankfully we were unaffected, so we arrived at Euston right on time. We were then supposed to pick up our tickets for the show before meeting Will for lunch, but the traffic was terrible so he got the tickets and we met him at Chop Shop. We all ordered steak (medium rare, natch), then got to talking. He told us a bit about the show and the guy it’s based on, and we talked about my parents’ lives working in theatres before they settled down. 

Will had to leave early to go and have his wig put on, so Mommy and I had coffee, then made our way over to the theatre. They let me in an accessible side door, and we took our seats in the stalls. We read the programme, and discovered a few other names/faces I recognised, like Will Merrick who was in Skins, Lizzie Roper who was in Hollyoaks and is one of the Aunt Bessie’s women, and Ophelia Lovibond who was in Guardians of the Galaxy. Everyone was really excellent and the show is so good – very wordy, funny, horrifically rude (if you’re easily offended, I wouldn’t recommend it) and made all the more fun by the presence of the (puppet) monkey and the dildo song. 

After the show, we went round to stage door to meet Will, and we climbed all the stairs up to Dominic Cooper’s dressing room because I have to prove that I can do things. By the time we got there, I needed to sit and breathe, but it was worth it because I got to see the very fancy room. 

Dominic was very lovely, but we didn’t have long because the cast were having Christmas tea. We talked about the show, and we had photos and they both signed my programme. Then we said goodbye, they went for their tea, and we wrapped ourselves back up to go out into the cold. 

We went to Fortnum and Mason, where I got my Buck’s Fizz marmalade and Mommy bought some florentines for Daddy, so now we don’t have to go there next week. I also got a cinnabon from the actual Cinnabon shop in Piccadilly Circus. We then very happily fell upon an available cab, and were taken back to Euston. 

While we chuntered home, I listened to the Elf soundtrack while reading New Scientist, then when we were actually at home, I had a Skype call from Christine. She had left her phone at work, and her work was on fire. Someone had set fire to Founders building at Royal Holloway, so we were talking while both looking at Twitter. Hopefully her phone is not burned to a crisp. 

The 1st of May.

Really tired, because I had another bad night, and this time I can’t blame our dinner. I had a dream that when trying to avoid a film festival of filth, I experienced aftershocks from the earthquake, meaning I scrambled up a cliff which led to an industrial farm where the government had been turning the people born infertile into mulch to feed the rest of us. It took me quite some time to get back to sleep after that.

Kate came to flush my line this morning and it behaved which was pleasing, and later on, the marmalade hamper arrived! Very exciting. Having extracted the goodies from all the straw, there was a marmalade pot, a Dundee cake with marmalade, some chocolate and orange afternoon tea biscuits, some English breakfast tea, and three different kinds of marmalade! For lunch I just wanted toast to test each type, but alas we had no bread.

This afternoon, I have made the body of an alpaca called Seamus, and now this evening I’m just really tired. I would very much like a decent sleep with nice dreams.

The 2nd of May.

Ahh double Zopiclone sleep is so good. Drugs are great. I got up at nine-ish, and while I was having breakfast, Becky came over, as if she had sensed the kettle boiling. We talked mainly about the wedding (so exciting now!) and she may have gallstones which is really not fun for her. I am hoping she is able to have them dealt with before she has to experience the opiate-necessitating pain.

Having read most of the paper and had my lunch, it was gym time. I did some rowing today! 500m in 4 1/2 minutes on the easiest setting which I am sure is crap compared to fit people but I am not fit people so I’m pleased. No one especially interesting there today, just near the end, four girls came in who a) obviously had no idea what they were doing and b) one had sprayed herself with WAY too much deodorant which nearly choked me, but thankfully she didn’t stay too long in my vicinity.

Then I came home to WALL-E on TV! Such fun, I do adore it. Even if it makes me a tiny bit lovesick.

The 27th of April.

Ughhh I am so sleepy. We think my haemoglobin might be low, so going to 621 tomorrow to have it checked.

I was awake at nine, and before Mommy went to see Grandma, we packed up some sandals to go back to Asos and the pig off to Buckinghamshire. I spent my morning writing a blog post and I found the iMac needed an update so it’s been doing that all day.

I was back at the chiro this afternoon for more lower-back/bum massaging. I’m back next Tuesday for more. The spasm has been a right bastard but I will be back at the gym tomorrow afternoon, working the muscle and stretching it out.

Once we got back, we watched two episodes of Criminal Minds. I am just so tired, I would like a massive sleep tonight.

The 28th of April.

Busy! Well, busy for me. I got up at half past nine, despite my possibly anaemic body not wanting me to. After breakfast and coffee, we toddled off to the QE to have my bloods checked to see if I do need blood before we go away next week. They couldn’t tell me straight away like normal as their analyser had broken, so I’ll check myhealth later.

After we’d had lunch and Mommy had taken Grandma to fellowship, she took me to the gym and I’ve spent all afternoon there. A good three hours of hard work, and very few youths today! The sweaty one was there, and either he or his friend smelled really bad which was upsetting.

When checking my email, I discovered that Fortnum & Mason have brought out a marmalade hamper, so I tweeted that if anyone wanted to buy me a random present, this existed, and bless them, someone is! My followers are great.

The 15th of October.

A year ago today, we “went public” with the news that I’m unfixable. Funnily enough, I had liver clinic this afternoon. Nobody in that room expected me to still be alive today. My tests are all good – everyone is really happy with me. 

I don’t know how I feel. I’m still really scared, but I don’t go to bed petrified every night. I plan stuff because I can’t afford not to. There are things I’ve come to terms with, like not having children, but there are things I try not to think about, like how my family will cope after I do die, especially at Christmas and on my birthday. 

I can’t think about those things. Day to day is enough of a challenge at the moment  – concentrating too much on my lack of future would sap me of any remaining will to live. 

I am tired. In every sense.

The 16th of October.

Today was just as great as I hoped it would be. We had an early start, having to be on the half nine train, but I am used to this and coffee helped. Even all the assistance went to plan which is rare.

We were going straight to Wild and Coffee for cronuts, but they had run out, so we went to Timberyard Seven Dials instead where they had many unexpected cronuts! I considered the Oreo cheesecake one but I thought it might be a little heavy, so I had a lemon drizzle one and a flat white. Mommy had a flat white too and some blueberry loaf, and  she spotted Seb Coe walking past! As you do. 

We though we’d walk down the river to get to Borough Market because if we got a cab, we wouldn’t be hungry yet, so we took the scenic route and saw the most runners I have ever seen without there being some sort of race on. So many lunchtime joggers!

Upon arrival at Borough Market, we were slightly overwhelmed by the amount of choice, so we went to BreadAhead  where I got a vanilla custard doughnut, then we were just dithering when Amy arrived! We looked round all the stalls, and  eventually Amy and I both had salt beef on rye, and  Mommy had a chorizo sandwich that I’d bought for myself but couldn’t then get past a few bites of because it was too spicy for my mouth.

Then we went on a treasure hunt for Momma Bottrill involving British cheese and ham, then we were queueing for Monmouth Coffee while waiting for Christine, and I spotted Arthur Darvill aka Rory from Doctor Who ahead of us! Such fun. So Christine arrived and we swapped her thermos for some Betty’s tea loaf and chocolate owls. We had a little catch up, then we got a cab to Fortnum’, and  while we waited, I ate half of my doughnut and Mommy finished it. I can see why Christine and Kim get spoons to eat the filling with! At Fortnum’s I bought some marmalade and four mini cronuts, and Amy got her dad the best mini chocolate in the world. I hope it was!

Oh, we went to Konditor and Cook too where I got a slice of curly wurly cake and chocolate noisette cake for Daddy and a fudgepacker brownie for Becky. Christine and Amy both left at Fortnum’s, so then we went to Selfridges where I bought two challah rolls and magazines to read on the train, then there was nothing else that took our fancy so we got a cab back to Euston for a relaxing warm beverage before catching the train home. Now  I am a super schweepy bear. 








The 4th; Elle day!

December 6, 2013 — 1 Comment


The 4th of December.

What a tiring day! Got up to be at Bad Apple at quarter past ten, and arrived while the Kérastase rep was there giving a presentation about the range, so Jill and I chatted about cats and Christmas trees before Michaela came and blow-dried my hair and trimmed my fringe.

From there, we drove to the Bullring to park there all day. I had go at a lift full of lazy, able-bodied people, none of whom decided to do the decent thing and get out. Then our train was cancelled due to a fatality, but we got the next one and it was fine. Then from Euston, we got a cab to Elle HQ! We were a little bit early, so bimbled round the surrounding area for a while – there were loads of places selling tasty looking food that I wanted to eat so that was somewhat frustrating, seeing as for my lunch, I ate the middle of an egg mayonnaise sandwich with a fork. As you do.

When it was, we went  into the Hearst building and waiting in reception for Gillian to come down and collect me, which she duly did, and Mommy stayed behind and sat and read an Elle Decor magazine. She showed me the cupboard, where I had a wee rummage and she showed me some mood boards for the upcoming issues, so I now have insider knowledge on the trends for the next few months. Whether I implement them is another matter. Then I met Lorraine! We talked about the December issue, and about how she likes to have pieces in the magazine that make you think. Also about how subscribers should get free gifts (coughMARIECLAIREcough), and the Elle feminism campaign they’re running – we’re both very enthusiastic about that. And they gave me a bag of goodies! I got them all out on the train home and they’re super awesome. Then I took some photos in the photobooth and of the office, then Gillian introduced me to Natasha Pearlman, the deputy editor, and we ended up chatting about the Liberty and Iceland documentaries.

Then it was time to say goodbye, and I said all my thank you and off we went! To Fortnum & Mason. We bought Daddy some marmalades, then we went to the Christmas shop. I bought a little Christmas pudding decoration, but desperately lusted over the big wooden advent calendars. In my ideal life, I would have that for my kid. It was beautiful. We basically did all the Christmas shops, so next was Liberty. They do not appear to be having the major problems that the adverts for the documentary allude to, but I still bought two decorations just to do my bit. There was a massive bear we could’ve bought for £2000, but decided against it. Then we went to Selfridges but avoiding Oxford Street, so instead we saw lots of posh buildings and cars. Plus the Vera Wang shop where we determined that I’d look fabulous in all the dresses. In Selfridges, we went to Chanel and I bought some earrings! I still want a bag. God I want a bag. There was a woman there buying one, and she paid for it in cash. She then requested to see the bag when the man was wrapping up the box, because she thought he might give her an empty one. She’s obviously had a bad experience. The earrings are very little and understated but I love them. We also bought some tiny cupcakes which there are no pictures of because they fell over in the box and I’ve eaten them all already.

Then it was back to Euston for home! Mommy got a sandwich (ham and mozzarella from Upper Crust which is my favourite and I couldn’t eat it, I was so jealous) for tea and I had a white chocolate.

My skin is mental and I’m not sure what to do.




















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