Archives For grandma

The 10th of June.

Is been a weird sort of day. Back home, back in my own bed (which was beautiful), but outside of our lives, the world is imploding. Part of me wants to avoid the news until it is all sorted but part wants to get up and fight for what is right because five more years of what we have been enduring is a death sentence , and that is not an exaggeration.

I might be feeling buoyed because I have just watched Wonder Woman. I am ready to kick the asses of a thousand men. We went to a 2.20 screening, and about five minutes before we were due to leave, Mommy got a phone call from Grandma’s home because she had fallen (her dining chair broke), she’d hit her head and was refusing medical treatment, so she had to go down there to convince her otherwise.

There was nothing Daddy and I could do, so we went to the film. There were some pretty terrible people in the screen (who takes a seven year old to a 12A?) so I had to ignore them but that wasn’t too difficult. It is a decent film – there are some holes and I had major issues with continuity and Ares just doing the whole “villain explaining his plan” – but I still enjoyed Gal Gadot being super badass. I liked the beginning part the best though. All the women being strong and awesome. More of this all the time! Show little girls we can fight.

Grandma has gone to hospital and is having a CT. I think she is going to be okay.

The 11th of June.

My bed is so great. I won’t mention it again (until my next admission). I have just missed it a lot.

This morning was Sunday Brunch and apparently the finale of season 2 of Scream, although there is another one left on Netflix? I don’t really understand. However, I feel quite smug as I had thought that Kieran might be the killer since he showed up at the funfair (sorry if that’s a spoiler but oh well). He was too quick.

Grandma came to join us for lunch – she is fine, just a bit bruised. I say “lunch”, but it wasn’t until five. She sat in the back room and watched the tennis (good thing we have no kitties at the moment), and I did much crocheting. I’m making another bear, this time for Jodie who was in the year below me at school and is expecting her first child.

Got my hair washed, and I had a really nice lie down with traditional Sunday afternoon radio. I also achieved quite a milestone – I climbed the stairs without oxygen and didn’t feel like I was going to die! Well done me. Maybe there is some hope for the rest of this year.

The 9th of January. 

No joy from the postman, nor is there anything on myhealth to show any upcoming appointments. Maybe on Wednesday morning we’ll ring a clinical nurse specialist, or try Andrew Willis’ secretary. 

I’ve had a very quiet day. I did a blog post, then iced three lots of cupcakes for Mommy to take to Grandma’s for her birthday. I got very chocolatey, sticky fingers. 

We had lunch, then Mommy went to Grandma’s and I went upstairs to do some extra moisturising because my skin has become really dry with this flare. Discovered that I could peel all of the skin off my left big toe, which was the worst affected area. Classic GvHD. 

For the rest of the afternoon, I watched two episodes of The OA while crocheting my jumper, but I’ve had to stop because the skin between my thumb and forefinger is so dry and painful. I need some seriously heavy-duty hand cream. 

This evening I have to prepare answers to some questions I’m going to be asked tomorrow. I’m taking part in a radio programme for BBC World Service about death. It will be more uplifting than it sounds. 

The 10th of January. 

Definitely going to ring someone in the morning about my arm – the upper arm has grown to 29.5cm in circumference (compared to 24cm on the left). This morning I did some Cats Protection admin and had a look through the questions for the interview this evening. I don’t need to prepare much, it’s all stuff I can answer off the cuff. 

I had a follow-up appointment at the dental hospital at 1.40pm, so we went out straight after lunch. I saw one of Mrs. Richards’ registrars who I’ve not met before. I explained what I was doing with the steroid paste and my concerns about it not staying where it should. She said that I’m doing it right, but it probably won’t stick because it is on the tongue. She went to confer with Mrs. Richards, who came in to have a look and decided we should put a little bit of steroid in the two sites that are being problematic. More painful this time, right in the raw tip of my tongue and on the top. Thankfully the swelling has gone down enough for me to be able to speak. 

Afterwards, we went into town so I could stock up on facewipes and toothpaste, and we went to Lush in search of hand cream. Ended up talking to the perfect sales assistant who has a similar problem so knew exactly what to recommend. Got a tub of Helping Hands. Let’s hope it does the job!

I’ve had the pre-interview for tonight’s 9pm one (another one cropped up for BBC WM randomly), and at half six the chap is coming to record me for the one about death. In between then and now, I’ll eat dinner. 

The 7th of January. 

Fuck I am still so tired, despite having caught up on sleep I missed at New Year. I think it’s because I’m still coughing a lot, especially in the mornings – they are awful. I would really like to feel good again soon. 

This morning, I wrote up a blog post, went on a hunt for a place for us to eat on my birthday (settled on Where the Pancakes Are, yum), then did some Cats Protection training. There was a new fosterers induction so I went through it. I did learn something so it wasn’t a waste of time. 

After lunch, I rang a potential adopter and forwarded him to the appropriate fosterer so hoping that’s a good match when he goes to see the kitty tomorrow. 

The rest of my time has been spent finishing the blanket – I just need to sew the fin to the tail and it’ll be done! Rainbow mermaid tail. It’s quite snug – only to be worn with leggings or tights. Unless it stretches. 

Tonight I will have to give the kittens lots of hugs before they go tomorrow. I will miss their stupid, pretty, rascally faces. 

The 8th of January. 

Not feeling quite so shitty today. Everything is still the same, I’ve just had a reasonable amount of sleep. Praying the postman brings me an appointment for a venogram tomorrow. Or someone calls me. Please. 

Shaki came this morning to pick up the kittens so they could go to Exeter. They were very scrabbly and did not want to go, which I took to mean that they will miss me. It meant we had to get them into the carrier very quickly, so I didn’t really get to say a proper goodbye. Probably a good thing or I might have had a cry. 

When they were gone, I had to call a potential adopter, then I finished my blanket. I’m not sure when I’ll use it, but it’s fun. 

We took Grandma to Miller and Carter for lunch because it’s her birthday tomorrow. I had scallops and then brisket, which I managed to eat quite successfully. Mash and gravy were very handy aids to mastication. 

Since getting home, I have begun making a jumper. I’m using the pattern from the last jumper I made, but with quite a lot of alterations – it’ll be shorter, have a narrower body, longer and narrower sleeves, and a smaller neckline. Just a little bit different. 

The 3rd of January. 

Of course the day we cancel my chiro appointment because I feel like crap, my neck starts acting up. It was fine before today, almost as if it knows. So unhelpful. Still, we spoke to the QE this morning and I can go to clinic tomorrow so finally I might get some things done about my feet, hands and arm, which are the most pressing issues. 

The only other thing I did this morning was a blog post, and I had a nice sit with the kittens – trying to squidge them as much as possible before they go to the adoption centre. 

This afternoon, I had the joyous task of phoning lots of potential adopters. A couple of people have changed their minds or got kittens from elsewhere, so I could tick them off the list, and most of the other forms I had, I forwarded to the one fosterer who has most of the kittens in branch. 

Since then, back to crocheting. I think I’ll have another early night tonight; I’m still super tired, and seeing as I need to be up early for clinic tomorrow, I need all the extra minutes of sleep I can get. 

The 4th of January. 

Neck not so painful today, I knew it was just throwing a strop. Thankfully, clinic this morning was helpful. I saw a specialist reg called Praveen who I’ve not met before, but he was very good. He took what I said seriously, and has some solutions, or at least the beginnings of them. My hands and feet are probably GvHD, so just carry on with the steroid cream, and about the arm and the eyes, he went to talk to Ram. He came in to have a look and said to email their man in opthalmology (pretty sure they knew what it is but I need to see a specialist to be sure – probably an eye GvHD thing) and call Andrew Willis, which he did there and then. He wants a venogram and the request has been put in so hopefully that comes through quickly. 

Popped into town on the way home to get Grandma a birthday card and a present as it’s her birthday on Monday. Meant to get some thank you cards but I forgot because I’m a nitwit. 

This afternoon, I have been watching Nashville and Conviction while crocheting. Got two episodes of each watched, and I’m on the last stripe of the blanket. I haven’t actually tried to get in it yet – I will be mightily pissed off if it’s too small. It shouldn’t be. Fingers crossed. 

The 15th of October.

I woke up from the most bizarre dream about me trying to break into my own bedroom from a balcony of some description but the security lion and monkeys wouldn’t let me in. Never a dull moment in my brain.

This morning I wrote up a post, did a tiny amount of crocheting, and Christine and I did some kitten stroking. They’re doing really well – they only make sad noises when they’re actually being picked up, but once they’re settled on a lap. they are quite happy and have even done some purring. I had to take some photos of Amy, because apparently there have been enquiries for young mums so hopefully someone will find her appealing. Also some of the people who had reserved kittens have pulled out so we’ll have to start having some viewings, although none have even had injections yet so they’re not going anywhere.

After lunch, Daddy, Christine and I went to see Kubo and the Two Strings. I had to shush some girls sitting behind us but that aside, it was lovely. Really glad we were able to see it in a cinema where you can really appreciate the fact that it’s stop-motion.

It’s three years since I wrote this post today. The longer I survive, the more terrifying the NHS funding situation gets, and the more I think I will die not from a superbug, but from an underfunded system that just won’t have the resources to save me.

The 16th of October.

Oh dear, I am full of ache. I think sitting on the floor with the kittens has been somewhat detrimental, and to be honest, I haven’t helped today. This morning, after breakfast and coffee, I went back upstairs to sort out my jumper drawer and pyjama drawer. I had some winter pyjamas in the jumper drawer which needed to come out, then I reorganised the jumpers so they were slightly more orderly. All the summer pyjamas then got put away in another drawer, and all my warm, winter pyjamas are now much more readily accessible. It was most satisfying, but it did require me to be on the floor for an hour. Oh well.

This afternoon, we had Sunday lunch at lunchtime because Grandma has been here, and I have been doing a lot of work on the second crochet Christmas project. I also phoned a potential adopter for one or two of the kittens to see when she wants to come and see them, then I sat on the floor some more and got each kitten out individually for a stroke. A couple even got groomed by Amy which they greatly enjoyed.

All of my back hurts this evening. I hope I can move tomorrow or my colposcopy clinic appointment might be difficult.

The 9th of January. 

Another dodgy night with the rumbly chest. I don’t get to sleep until maybe two? Then I woke up this morning at quarter past nine, gave myself five more minutes and wrote up again at ten when Mommy came in. 

I did a blog post and re-painted five nails (I think I’ve fixed them all now so no more should peel off), and Mommy and Daddy went to get Grandma because she was coming here for lunch/the afternoon as it’s her birthday. I gave her a handbag for her to take stuff down to the lounge at Boldmere Court, and when she opened it she burst into tears! I hadn’t spent squillions of pounds on it or anything but she felt she didn’t deserve it. I don’t know why she feels that way, it’s not the case at all. 

We had beef wellington for lunch which I had to deconstruct because mushrooms are upsetting, and I actually had trouble finding it. I don’t know if it’s because we had a starter beforehand, or if it was to do with my breathing which was troublesome, but either way, I had to stop. 

After a break and some birthday cake, the football came on so I went to play The Sims some more. Bloody game is too addictive, but I tore myself away to come and do my writing and say goodbye to Grandma before she was taken home in the torrential rain. It is biblical out there. 

The 10th of January. 

A better night. Perhaps the lack of sleep for the previous couple helped. I set an alarm for ten past nine and I couldn’t set it to snooze because my phone had fallen off the bed, so I had to get up. I’d just got my water and juice and was having an enormous coughing fit when Mommy and Daddy got back from taking Grandma to church. Toast, coffee, and I finally got round to reading yesterday’s paper. Very good at sudoku, poor at crossword. 

After lunch, I had an afternoon of great fun installing old Sims 3 expansion packs just to have it then crash on me. Not satisfactory. 

I’m supposed to be crocheting a giraffe for a teeny baby but I don’t want to do it while I’m full of germs in case I pass them onto her. Hopefully next month. A lot of things have to wait until next month. 

The 14th of March.

Today has been a day off extremes. This morning was Saturday Kitchen and a blog post, but no Guardian as Daddy had taken the Galaxy to get a new tyre, so Mommy hadn’t gone shopping. Thankfully, he was back by half past eleven which was when we wanted to go out to brumyumyum at King’s Heath for tasty streetfood! I had a Chorizcow burger from The Flying Cows and Mommy had a toastie from TSK Brunch. After getting grease all over my face and fingers, and being grateful for the wipes in my bag, we went to Bake to buy masses of cakes from the two lovely baking fellows. A red velvet bundt, a raspberry cheesecake pie, a double down brownie and a black and white cookie sandwich. I ate half of the cookie sandwich on the way home, but then I was stuffed.

After indulging in all that, I really felt I ought to go to the gym, so I did my two o’clock aciclovir and mouthwash, then Mommy took me there. I worked out for about two hours, although it was freezing – I couldn’t seem to escape the air conditioning. Since returning home, I’m not sure I can manage any tea, and I’m still trying to warm up. My arms are squidgy again. I’m so glad the line is coming out on Monday. Then some of my problems will abate for a while, at least.

The 15th of March.

Today has been Mother’s Day, so I thought I’d take the opportunity to tell you about mine. Not much has happened today anyway, besides Grandma coming over for lunch.

Anyone that knows her, knows just how spectacular she is. Before I became ill, she was the Hospitality and Events manager at the Birmingham Hippodrome, and continued in that position until my liver transplant, because by then she was with me full-time and work wasn’t possible. But for as long as she could be, she was with me before and after work, whenever I needed her.

Besides me, she also had my sister to support through leaving home, and her own mother who has Parkinson’s and add my health improved, hers declined. In 2013, there was a period during which my Grandma and I were in different hospitals, and all Mommy did was shuttle between the two of us and home.

When I am at my worst she is there. She will stay up with me all night while I rock back and forth in pain, get my food and drink, take me anywhere, hold me as long as I need. She is literally everything to me – without her I would be completely lost. She must be exhausted and angry and sad so much of the time yet she never complains or snaps. She is strong, funny, kind, selfless and the only person I could wish to be my mother. I don’t know anyone who comes close to her. And she gives me a daughter’s day card. I cannot believe just how lucky I am.