Archives For Netflix

The 6th of June. 

Today has been pretty lame, ranked in terms of holiday fun time. The weather was not terrible, so it was felt we should go out. I was woken up by a child playing basketball outside my window which was not ideal, but I refrained from putting a passive-aggressive note through the door of the owners of said basketball hoop. If it happens again tomorrow, I will be less accommodating. 

Daddy and Christine wanted to go to a castle, which did not sound appealing, so they dropped Mommy and I off in Torquay so we could do a bit of shopping while they looked at the ruins. We spent about an hour and a half in a nice coffee shop, having a tasty lunch and beverages. I had a mozzarella, tomato and pesto bagel with a carrot and orange juice, although I took the tomatoes out. Don’t want those. Then I had a coffee and we shared some vegan chocolate banana bread which was excellent, but it was demolished before I had a chance to take a photo. We were thinking about going, but then an old man sat down and started talking to us, starting with the premise of the election but he actually ended up telling us about how he is having to move because his landlady’s husband is a weed addict and he wants to start a singing group in which they sing old French songs in a Black Country accent because he thinks it would be fun. All this while eating two croissants with butter and jam. He was a curious fellow. We did have to leave as we had a jigsaw to buy, so we went in search of that. It turns out Torquay is quite shit in terms of shopping. We tried several places, and finally found one in WHSmith, where I also found a Father’s Day card. Not got Daddy a birthday card yet but nevermind. 

My eyes started being problematic, and we had nowhere else left to go, so we started trawling places in desperation, waiting to be picked up. We even went round Wilko’s, where they were selling my facewipes for more expensive than in Superdrug, shockingly. 

I was very happy to see the car arrive so I could shelter from all the bright light. Honestly, if it gets even vaguely sunny, I am essentially blind. Really hoping it is kind of dull on Thursday when we go to Michael Caines’ restaurant. 

Back at the house, I made my contribution to the jigsaw by finding all the bits of the two windows in the picture. That was enough for my back, so I then returned to the sofa where I have been curled up ever since. 

 

The 7th of June. 

One day out in the wheelchair/car and I am fucked for the next one. Been hobbling all day. Nevermind the fact that Mommy fried some meat last night and I obviously can’t cope with being in the vicinity of that either because my sats are only just getting back to normal. People are only allowed to bake, roast, boil or steam things near me, thank you. 

I was not woken by basketball today, thankfully. Instead, it has been a very quiet day – Daddy and Christine went to the tiny zoo this morning, while Mommy and I stayed in. She cross-stitched, I crocheted! Actually was able to focus on it. I had to unravel the doily I had been working on, because I can’t remember what size hook I was using, but I’ve started a new one and I’ve made a note of the hook, so if I have to stop again, I won’t have the same problem. 

When Christine and Daddy got back, we ate lunch while watching today’s Pretty Little Liars (FINALLY things actually progressed) and I had a very tasty crab sandwich from one of the nearby coffee shops. I was then left alone while everyone went shopping to buy dinner, so I watched an episode of Scream and before I knew it, they were back again! Time for iZombie. (Yes it seems on holiday I behave exactly as I do in hospital.)

It is the last day of election campaigning. Tomorrow, the people vote. Obviously, I have already sent off my postal vote. Part of me is hopeful. The other part is terrified. I am so afraid of what I might wake up to on Friday morning. 

The 9th of May.

Stupid eyes today. Not sleepy, but painful. I have a review at the eye clinic coming up next week so I’ll bring it up then but ugh. It is just so frustrating when it seemed to be getting better.

This morning, I wrote up a blog post, and tried on some dresses I’ve ordered for John and Maddie’s wedding. I’ve got to find something that will accommodate or disguise my arm because I can’t wear what I originally planned to. One of the three is okay, I think. I need to look at it again before I send the other two back.

This afternoon, I’ve been sitting with Sam and I watched the last two episodes of 13 Reasons Why. Shit, I can see why it has caused quite so much controversy – watching Hannah slit her wrists is really horrific and I found myself holding on to the cat quite tightly to cope. I related to the moment before she got in the bath, when she looked in the mirror. Like she was saying goodbye. I feel like I’ve got to that place before, but I have always turned back. I have never really needed to die, I have just wanted whatever was so bad to be over, and I hoped that life would be better afterwards. I always have hope. Which I suppose it’s part of what keeps me here.

The 10th of May.

I have felt like total crap all day. It began with a pretty terrible sleep, because I had to sleep in Christine’s bed last night. Yesterday morning I spilled orange juice on my carpet, and the carpet cleaner smelled so strong, I couldn’t sleep in there and comfortably breathe.

This morning I had a chiro appointment, and it was all a struggle. I got myself into Trine’s room and she found that the muscles in the left side of my back were very stringy. I don’t really know what that means but it wasn’t very pleasant, having them made un-stringy. It is probably from sitting in my wheelchair all weekend at Mach.

I was supposed to be at the dentist and hygienist this afternoon but I could barely breathe just sitting up, so doing it with lots of instruments in my mouth was not going to happen. Cancelled that.

So, I had my lunch, watched new Pretty Little Liars and iZombie, then curled up on the sofa to have a rest/nap. I put on a Gardeners’ Question Time and closed my eyes (which have been hurting too) and I think I did occasionally nod off. I certainly remember jerking awake. Not really sure what that means for me as I can only sleep in the day when I’m poorly, so I’m really hoping it was just because I’m knackered.

The 5th of May.

More trips out today. Busy busy.

When I woke up, I was struggling, because the oxygen cylinder upstairs had run out. However, things have improved since then. It is always worst in the mornings and evenings. After breakfast, I watched the new episode of Riverdale, and (no spoilers) SO. MANY. REVELATIONS. Also I am sick to death of Veronica Lodge always bringing it back to her and her dad. Do not care, shut up.

I had an appointment at the GP at quarter past one to discuss pain relief. The buprenorphine is making absolutely zero difference to my pain, and she seemed quite surprised to hear this. The next step is to try pregablin instead, so I’ll start that tonight. Fingers crossed it doesn’t affect my breathing.

We came home for about an hour, then we were back out to the dental hospital, just for a check up. They were running late, so I got a lot of The Burial Hour read while we waited. I got called by a young dentist called Joseph who looked about twelve, but was very competent. He looked at my mouth to see if there were any signs of GvHD while another dentist scribed, then we just had to wait for their senior colleague to check I was fine. He was with another patient, and while we sat, we got onto the subject of Netflix, and the girl who’d been writing watches Pretty Little Liars and Riverdale too, and they both watched 13 Reasons Why, so we were in no rush for him to arrive.

Dr. Khan finally came, and thinks my mouth looks the best he’s ever seen it, so they don’t want me back for four months.

As soon as we left, I reopened my book as I was at a critical point, and now it is finished. Oh, Jeffery. Clever, clever Jeffery.

The 6th of May.

Do not like this new pain drug, pregablin. So far it is not making my back feel any better, it has just made me really sleepy all day. Not exactly tired, but my eyes just want to close. It’s not ideal. I’m going to continue with it for a few days, see if the sleepiness wears off and the pain gets any better. I’m not optimistic but I have to give it a chance.

My day has been a really rather dull one, for the most part – I have been sitting with the laptop, typing up the blog entries that I have got behind on posting. There were six to do I got three done. They’re still not posted because I need to add photos and I do that on my iPad. It is very boring but it must be done.

I had a couple of breaks in which I went to sit with Sam and we were both sleepy. He is such a good boy that if nobody wants to adopt him, I will beg Daddy to let us keep him. He won’t live that long, won’t cost us a huge amount of money.

This evening I went out with Sadie to see Joel Dommett. She is a bit in love with him and asked if I’d go so I agreed – although I’ve already seen his show, I was interested to see how he would make the show work, going from a 90 seat room to an 1800 seat one. When we arrived, I saw JT, and we had a little catch up, then he had a look at our tickets and asked if we wanted to go in the wheelchair space instead. Considering they were better seats and I didn’t have to move, I was only too keen to say yes.

The show has definitely improved since October, and I think it actually works better in the larger space. I’d completely forgotten about Laser Dick, but by the second chorus I was singing along again. And he’s changed the ending, which I won’t spoil, but it’s definitely more suitable for the bigger venues he’s doing. He’s not coasting on the fame he’s got from I’m A Celebrity; he’s worked really hard and it’s paying off.

The 25th of April.

Everything hurts today. I am tender all over. My body did not like being invaded so I am being a delicate flower.

My day has been punctuated by half-hourly squeezing of a stress ball with my arm up in the air. It is the only thing I can do that might make my arm go down. I’m not convinced it is going to work but I am desperately hanging on to anything that may make a difference. If this doesn’t work, I don’t know what I will do.

This afternoon, I wrote about yesterday’s procedure, then I went to sit with Sam for a couple of hours. I watched Netflix, and he kneaded my lap which I tolerated until it hurt. Pointy claws of a heavy kitty on wound sites are not good.

I just feel very sad. Maybe tomorrow will be better. We’re off to Machynlleth on Thursday for the comedy festival there and I really don’t want to feel like shit. 

The 26th of April.

Measured my arm this morning. Still exactly the same. I am not expecting it to improve, but I’ll carry on with the compression and the squeezing for a few more days, then I’ll ring Andrew’s secretary and make sure my appointment is on the way because he’s going to have to come up with a new plan. I cannot go to John and Maddie’s wedding with one huge arm, even if it will be full of medics.

So this morning I was sad about my arm and had a bit of a cry before I came downstairs. Breakfast, then I wrote up the blog post about the venoplasty while I watched new Pretty Little Liars and iZombie. I did a lot of shouting at the latter because Peyton is being a moron.

After lunch, I sorted out what clothes I’m going to take to Mach and printed out all the tickets for the shows I’m going to, using up a small tree in the process. Then I went to give Sam some attention and a brush because we were taking him to Lee’s to stay with her while we’re away and I thought he ought to look nice.

I am sick to death of living in baggy clothes. A third of the year has passed and I haven’t felt good about my body for a single day.

The 23rd of April.

Oh god I have never been so excited about the fact that it is Monday tomorrow. Maybe my four month long saga of the fat right arm will be over soon.

Somehow I managed to press the snooze button this morning without my knowledge, but I didn’t continue to sleep for too much longer. I think I was slightly less coughy, but I had Zopiclone so it’s hard to remember. Thankfully the rest of the day has not been necessary to remember anyway.

Shockingly, it’s been mostly tv. Sunday Brunch in the am, Netflix this afternoon. I had a break in the middle for my traditional Gardeners’ Question Time and a lie down/pretend nap, but that was pretty much my only non-screen-based activity. On Netflix, I watched the first two episodes of 13 Reasons Why. I think I’ll download the next several to watch while I’m having to lie flat in ambulatory care tomorrow.

The 24th of April.

So it is done. I am praying so hard that it has worked this time but honestly I’m expecting to be disappointed.

Mommy woke me up for toast at quarter to seven, and then I couldn’t go back to sleep. I managed to kill time until we had to leave by redoing some crochet that I’d done wrong, and we set off just after 10:30. Parking was a nightmare, but we drove round enough times to chance upon someone leaving. Before going to ambulatory care, we went up to 516 to give Jenny her bear. She was delighted and put him in her pocket. We couldn’t stay too long, so we had a brief chat, then we went back downstairs and she went to check patients’ blood sugars.

I checked in at the desk at ambulatory care, then had to wait until the afternoon patients were let in. While we twiddled our thumbs, we saw Vash, the mother of a girl I was treated with at BCH. Turned out she was in a cubicle in there with some mystery virus. She did not look well, poor thing.

I had a very nice nurse who liked my hair (actually nearly every person I met commented on it) and got admitted pretty quickly, then a nurse from angio came for me because I was the only one on their list this afternoon. When we got down there, I went through the theatre check list again, and Andrew came for a chat. He explained what he was going to do, and we talked a lot about gadolinium (the dye he has to use instead of the iodine-based contrast he normally would), because I have so much during these procedures, more than a patient who’s had a lot of MRIs, more than anyone he’s ever seen and there are no studies on how this much of it can affect a body so he has concerns about that. I am just tired, I want it fixed.

We went round to the suite we were going to use. I shuffled across onto the bed and there was a who, then Andrew went to scrub in and the nurses prepped me. Covered in iodine. Once everything was set up, Andrew ultrasounded the edge of my groin to find the vein, then one of the nurses came to distract me while he got stabby with the local anaesthetic. He tunnelled up as far as he could, then he put some local in my fat arm and drove a wire up the vein in there so the two nearly met, and he used them to measure the blood pressures in those vessels, and he did a run of contrast so he could see if any strictures were there. The one he blew up in January had returned, so he was going to have to inflate that again, but with a better balloon this time. Before doing that, he wanted to use the IVUS to make sure there weren’t any more, and to get some more information about my superior vena cava. I could see the screens today, so I can tell you that an ultrasound inside your veins looks like the title sequence of Doctor Who. Like going into a black hole. From this, he was able to glean that there isn’t any more narrowing, but it is scarred. Lines for seven years will do that to you.

Satisfied that I only needed the one inflation, he gave me some sedation (they are not comfortable experiences) and I had a tiny nap. Then all the tubes and wires got pulled out and I had to lie there while he pressed very hard on the puncture site to stop the bleeding.

In recovery, I had some water, then the nurses took me and my notes back to ambulatory care. Mommy was coming back in at the same time, so we both returned to my bedspace and I told her what had gone on. Andrew came round too, and we talked through what he’d seen. He also explained that there’s no point in strenting the vein he inflated because it’s surrounded by bones and fibrous tissue so would probably just get crushed. I have to keep wearing the sleeve and squeezing the stress ball, and hope that this time it’s had the desired effect. I’ll get an appointment for his clinic. Maybe I’ll be able to wear something that doesn’t drown me.

The 17th of January. 

I have a venogram appointment! I checked on myhealth this morning, and I am booked in for the 25th at 9am. No letter yet, that will probably be tomorrow, and will include more detail. Looking back at previous venograms, there have been occasions when the venoplasty’s been done immediately, and when I’ve had to go back and have it another day. Fingers crossed it’s the former but I have no clue. 

This morning, I wrote up a post and painted my nails while watching Theresa May’s Brexit speech. It was not particularly illuminating, apart from making it obvious that if we don’t get what she wants, we are quite screwed. People keep saying “We haven’t had the Brexit crash that was predicted” like it’s fine but they don’t seem to have realised that we haven’t left yet.

Mommy has been out most of the day, taking Grandma to a funeral, coming home, reading a letter, and having to go back to Grandma’s to tell her that this letter said that her cousin has died. Not a great day for her. 

I watched the final three episodes of A Series of Unfortunate Events and crocheted. I had started some pyjamas for the doll I made ages ago, so now she has the trousers and I’m working on the shirt. 

Phoned up several potential adopters to have the standard conversation, had to explain that we actually have practically no cats/kittens at the moment, but they are willing to wait. 

The 18th of January.

Today has seemed to go by ever so quickly. I looked at the clock and suddenly it was half past three. Where did the time go?

This morning, I was able to have orange juice with my breakfast for the first time since before Christmas. Think my mouth might be okay to eat fun things on my birthday, maybe even have some champagne! Such excitement. I have ordered a mini Curly Wurly cake for us to pick up on Saturday and I’ve been trying to decide what I’m going to wear. Thankfully we’re not going anywhere fancy so I don’t have to worry about a dress code, but I’d like to look reasonable and that’s tricky when one of your arms is massive. I’m not sure whether my leather jacket will fit so we’ll take the furry lining out of my park and then I think it will be big enough to accommodate the enormo-arm. 

After lunch (during which I had an apple, another thing I haven’t had for ages because it was too pointy), I had a Cats Protection call, then I made the pyjama top to go with the bottoms. I now remember why I’d stopped doing stuff from that book – it has mistakes as it’s a translation. Bah. I also started a new series on Netflix called Glitch. It’s like The Returned, but Australian, and they all crawled out of their graves at the same time not knowing they were dead. I’ll see how it goes. 

Hair change tomorrow. What colour to go?

The 15th of January. 

It is going to be an early night tonight. Well, as early as possible. As in, I will go upstairs and watch Sherlock in bed so I can go to sleep straight away afterwards. I was woken not long after eight this morning by the builders next door using the angle grinder, and tomorrow I have to get up super early for liver clinic (which is now on a Monday morning). 

Other than the noisy builders, it has been a pretty quiet day. I wrote up a blog post, watched Sunday Brunch, and worked on practising crocheting cables. I think I’ve got the hang of it now which is most pleasing – being able to do them properly has eluded me for ages. 

I also watched three more episodes of A Series of Unfortunate Events – it’s too good and I can’t help myself. Neil Patrick Harris is so excellent, and I’m enjoying Cobie Smulders and Will Arnett too. Having listened to all of the audiobooks when I had to live in the dark, and several times again since then, I can’t wait to see how they do the rest of them. The first four books just won’t do. 

My hands are still very dry. Leathery, one could call them. And not a soft leather, like a stiff, hard, scaly leather. Moisturising all the time, but this is going to take a while. 

The 16th of January.

Sherlock was not even worth staying up for in the end. So many questions, so many things wrong with it. Mycroft is a fucking idiot. 

Anyway. At least my very early clinic appointment meant I got through quickly. Philippa and James both really loved their crocheted animals for their respective children, and we got to see the latest pictures of James’ new baby. Then down to the business of my body – I explained everything that happened over Christmas and how far we’d got in regards to fixing me. The only things that need to be sorted are my arm and eyes – James’ secretary is going to get on the case about my arm (and the dates I’d rather not have it on) and we just have to wait for the eye appointment.

Then we were on our way and home just after half ten, at which point I needed more coffee. I am very sleepy. The rest of my day has been spent yawning, crocheting nothing in particular and having multiple chats with Shaki about the logistics of kitten/cat movement. It is very complicated.