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The 3rd of December.

I have had many jobs to do today, and have completed most of them. The important ones, anyway.

Once dressed and full of festive coffee, I got two blog posts done (the one I typed yesterday didn’t work), then set about writing some promotional blurb for this event I am planning (I promise details next week) and it is harder than you might think! It took me the whole of the rest of the morning. It needed to be under 200 words and I am very bad at being concise.

After lunch, I did some more of my crochet gifts while we skipped through the X Factor final (let’s not talk about it), then I painted my nails while we caught up with last week’s Howard’s End. Wrote some more emails, and now I am about to plan where Mommy and I go tomorrow in London and in what order. Christmas shopping trip!

The 4th of December .

I am on a train and my back hurts. It has been a long day and my left eye has been excruciating for most of it. I have positively flooded it with drops to try to alleviate some of the pain. Occasionally it hurts less and I am taking the opportunities as they come.

I woke up at twenty past five for no good reason and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I tossed and turned as I listened to podcasts to kill the time.

Coffee, toast, advent calendar biscuit (I decided I probably wouldn’t want to eat it by the time I got back this evening). At New Street for ten o’clock, where I discovered Nationwide were having issues so I couldn’t withdraw any money or use my debit card. Not ideal for a day of Christmas shopping. Still, it got resolved while we were on the train, so I got some cash at Euston and breathed a sigh of relief.

Started at Harrods where we spent half an hour getting lost trying to find the café, having to traverse the hell that is the Toy Kingdom before finally finding the place to sit and drink coffee and eat lunch. I had a braffle, which is a brioche-waffle hybrid filled with Welsh rarebit and it was delicious. We were entertained by the very stressed manager telling all the staff that it was imperative that they smile, and when he got angry he started speaking Italian so we couldn’t understand. The one thing I hate about Harrods is that no matter when you go, it always seems to be full of children. Why are they not at school? I am very much of the Victorian position that children should be seen and not heard except I don’t want to see them either unless I have chosen to spend time with them. All I purchased was a salted caramel brownie. Disappointing this year!

Next stop Fortnum & Mason which was much better. I only bought my festive Buck’s Fizz marmalade but Mommy got several things so it was worth it. We only go to the food floor in there because the lifts are ghastly and I cannot be arsed. So then we went to Liberty via Cinnabon (I cannot pass it without buying one, it would be a disservice to Dean) and there I found joy in a felt sausage dog tree ornament and the haberdashery. The wall of wool is my happy place. However, I discovered the one in John Lewis is even better. I know I should have known this, but we hadn’t been before so didn’t know its true beauty. So much wool. I bought some that I would never normally have purchased but my eye really hurt and I was sad so I made a decision of self-pity.

Last stop Selfridges. I bought an elf gingerbread man. But he was all. I saw some fun wrapping paper but it would be ridiculous to buy that in London and besides, I have not decided on a theme yet and I can’t do that until I have got all my gifts. I have bought one present today, only a couple left to go. I am so uninspired this year.

Now on our way home. I am so looking forward to a comfortable chair and taking off my eye make up.

The 23rd of November.

Much quieter day today.

This morning, I tried Dr. Blaney’s secretary, but she wasn’t there, and only works Monday to Thursday so I’ll have to try again next week. Sigh. Then we had an interesting time with a Zara delivery – I’d ordered a couple of dresses, and I got an email saying my Hermes delivery person had left my order in a safe place. I checked the porch but there was nothing there, and no card had been put through our letterbox.

I phoned Zara to see if they could talk to Hermes, but first we had to go through everything that had or hadn’t happened multiple times. Then he went into another system where it said my parcel was left in a blue bin, but there aren’t any in the vicinity of my house. Once the Zara chap was satisfied I didn’t have it, he emailed Hermes and will get back to me when they reply. However, it has since transpired that it was in a blue bin, just on a completely different road. It clearly wasn’t our usual Hermes man, and the substitute is a moron.

After lunch was crochet, no Riverdale because it’s Thanksgiving, so I started watching The Punisher instead. I think I need some back story; will do some Wikipedia research. And we’ve just been doing the kittens’ panacur again – they have remembered how much they hate it and my hands have suffered because of it.

Ed Gamble tonight!

The 24th of November.

I am very tired today. I wasn’t out too late at Ed Gamble, who was very good, but maybe my sleep quality wasn’t very good? Bleah.

So I actually started doing some Christmas shopping this morning. I looked at many of the Black Friday offers but there wasn’t anything that really jumped out at me. I did get some things that were cheaper than they might normally have been, but nothing ridiculous. It took me ages to find anything that I really want to give to anyone – there are lots of things to buy, but that doesn’t mean they’re good presents.

This afternoon, I was on the hunt for more wool for crocheted gifts because if I can’t find stuff to buy, I will make people things I think they will like. Once I’d got that sorted, I started on another snood, but had barely got going when Tom and Ann came to visit the kittens. It seems only reasonable as they can’t have them until Clarrie/Molly gains more weight. They didn’t stay very long, so then I got back to my snood, and Daddy came home with Christine!

Family fun time weekend!

The 16th of July. 

I’m not feeling quite so terrible today. I slept until half past nine which is a lie-in to me, and spent my morning enjoying Joe on Sunday Brunch and writing up a blog post. Back on schedule for at least one entry. 

After lunch, I had a hairwash, then tried on a bunch of clothes. I cannot find something in my wardrobe that goes with the shirt I got – if I put it with a skirt, I look like a teacher (and not in a good way), and the only item that it worked with was some pink shorts. If I were going to be able to stand up while I talk to people on Tuesday that would be fine, but I can’t do that and breathe. However, when I sit down in the shorts, they become really too short to be appropriate. So tomorrow after liver clinic, shopping we will go. 

I have been to pet the kitties, and I made Bree purr! The only times she has purred have been when she is feeding from Betty, but this afternoon, Betty was not near her, and I stroked her into submission. I am the best at cats. 

The 17th of July. 

Last early start for a few days. This morning we had to leave the house at 8 to get to liver clinic at 9. Got there only just in time, but still before the doctors! Still, James didn’t exactly have chance to start running late, and there was only one chap ahead of me. We had a chat about my recent stays in, and he was delighted to say that while I was incapable of breathing, my liver coped extremely well! Good work, liver. He was also happy to do my referral to the lymphoedema clinic, and he is good at doing things, so hopefully they contact me relatively soon. 

When we were finished, we went to town to find some trousers to go with my shirt for tomorrow. Incredibly, the first pair I tried on were right! I tried on a few more, just to make sure, but they weren’t as good, so we were done pretty quickly and were home by lunchtime!

This afternoon, I watched two episodes of Nashville, only crying in one, then I went to sit with the kitties and watch Orphan Black. There was a fly in the room which they found greatly interesting, so much so that Bree chased it into the window. Stupid kitty. 

The 30th of June. 

Busy busy day. I had an appointment at the Women’s Hospital with Sue, the specialist nurse, at ten. I was early and she called me in straight away. It was pretty brief – I told her about my appointment with Mr. Titley, and she’s going to chase up what’s going on with that because he wrote to Miss Byrom at the start of May, so maybe I’ll hear something relatively soon. She also asked what things were like on the relationship front and I laughed. Apparently there are lots of understanding people out there. I need to find the most understanding person in the world

Went into town before going home, where I got some make up from NYX, some pants from John Lewis, and a jacket from the French Connection sale that I fell in love with and can wear with many things, with or without my fat arm!

This afternoon, Daddy and I went to see Despicable Me 3. Despite it being 2.40pm on a Friday, there were loads of children there? I don’t understand why they weren’t at school – they were of age. Grr. The film was great fun; it is exactly what you would hope for and expect from it. Lucky the unicorn-goat is adorable. 

Back at home, I tried to play with the kittens, but it didn’t really work because Bree is really lazy and Bailey and Betsy cheat. 

The 1st of July. 

Oooh I am crashing. This morning, I went to the Custard Factory for the Birmingham Coffee Festival. I can’t remember the last time I was in Digbeth. Anyway. I was glad I got there relatively early, because I was able to do a lap of the stands before it became so busy that I was ramming ankles. My first purchase was a box of five bags of beans plus some offers for £12. Then I went over to the Java Lounge stand where they were teaching latte art. I have tried so many times at home and it never works. But today the chap showed me and I actually did a half-passable rosetta! They were also giving out free flat whites, bonus! Next, I went to look at 200° where I had a very nice chat with the manager. She gave me a nitro which which was really good, so sweet and creamy without any milk. She also gave me some vouchers for free coffee and I need to book myself in for a class. 

Time for lunch, so I got myself a cheese and spinach crêpe, then back to coffee. I bought beans from Quarter Horse, Urban Social and Urban Espresso, and two doughnuts from Donut Day Dream. Deep-fried brioche, mmm. That was me pretty much done, then I found out my chair couldn’t mount the ridge to leave, so people had to help me. 

Back home, I ate one of my doughnuts while watching the latest Nashville (no crying today), then I went to sit with the floofs. Bree is going to get fat if her adopter is not careful because she just can’t be arsed to do anything. 

The 28th of December. 

No steroids today, and nothing has got worse so I think I’m safe. Thank god; I’m not sure I could cope with going back to the moon face. We rang the dental hospital and got me an appointment for tomorrow, tried the QE but haematology is still closed for Christmas, and we’re taking the kittens to the vet tomorrow because at least four of them are doing unacceptable poos. 

Today I did a lot of crocheting with no results. I’m going to use some of the wool I got for Christmas to make a mermaid blanket and to fit me, I have to get the gauge right. Once I’d worked that out (I was erring on the large side), I then spent the rest of the afternoon doing half the fin, only to find myself 9 grams short for the other half. Instead of buying another ball, I will get a new hook that is between the two sizes I was testing with, then hopefully it will all work out fine. 

This evening, we went to the Botanical Gardens Christmas lights display. I was wrapped up as warm as possible – cashmere socks, long boots, gloves, scarf, hat, blanket. It was pretty, and I took some photos, but it didn’t take long for me to get too cold to care. My toes were so painful, like blocks of ice. My hands were less awful because one can at least rub them together to generate heat, but the feet are impossible. I have been suffering for several hours, and am currently thawing my feet in front of the fire. We’re supposed to do a similar thing at Blenheim Palace on Friday. Hmm. 

The 29th of December. 

My tongue has been numb for hours. We went to the dental hospital to see Mrs. Richards and get my tongue stabbed. She looked inside my mouth and agreed that I definitely needed injections.

First, she put local anaesthetic in the side and underneath of my tongue, in my cheek and inside my top lip, right under my nose. When everywhere was suitably numb, she put the steroid in, then I had to lie with a wad of gauze in my mouth to stop the bleeding. 

Then we had to go shopping while half of my face (even my right nostril) was numb. I wanted to get this crochet hook, some more cashmere socks (if there were any in the sale) and some Uggs (also in the sale and out of necessity to keep my feet warm). The crochet hook and socks were easy, plus I got some lambskin gloves reduced from £50 to £15! Then we went to the Ugg shop. It was very difficult for me because I really hate the look of most Uggs, the traditional kind, so after trying on a couple of pairs, I settled on some ankle boots that are not too obviously Ugg-like and were £50 off, so I think I did quite well!

This afternoon, we took the kittens to the vet (again). Met a very fun dog with a sticky-out tongue and a Christmas jumper. None of the kittens have temperatures, so we have some worming stuff and special food to hopefully settle their dodgy stomachs. 

The 12th of December. 

I feel alright today, but it hasn’t been a great day as it was Keith’s funeral. 

This morning, I did another blog post so now I’m up to date, and rang the vet to get the kittens booked in for their first of of vaccinations. Hopefully when we have to take them, they don’t hide under the chair. 

We got to the church early and met Rosemary outside before going in to sit down. It was good timing on our part, as it filled up pretty quickly. Dr. Haydn from the liver team was sat behind us, and we smiled at each other in the awkward acknowledging way that one does at funerals. 

Funerals always make me think about my own. There was a lot of talk about heaven and the afterlife, as you’d expect. I don’t think I want the afterlife discussed – I don’t really believe in it. I don’t want there to be a place I go where I can see all my friends and family but not be with them. It sounds like utter torment. 

What got to me was what Gareth said will be playing at the crem, which is All I Ask by Adele, the last song they cried at together. Listening to it with the lyrics from Gareth’s point of view is heartbreaking. It we were going to the service on Wednesday, I’d be a wreck. 

We got home to find one of the kittens had done a wee in a place they weren’t supposed to. Nice. 

I will leave my heart at the door
I won’t say a word
They’ve all been said before, you know
So why don’t we just play pretend
Like we’re not scared of what is coming next
Or scared of having nothing left

Look, don’t get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is

If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I’m more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
‘Cause what if I never love again?

I don’t need your honesty
It’s already in your eyes
And I’m sure my eyes, they speak for me
No one knows me like you do
And since you’re the only one that matters
Tell me who do I run to?

Look, don’t get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is

If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I’m more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
‘Cause what if I never love again?

Let this be our lesson in love
Let this be the way we remember us
I don’t wanna be cruel or vicious
And I ain’t asking for forgiveness
All I ask is

If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I’m more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
‘Cause what if I never love again?

The 13th of December. 

Oh, today has been so much better. Apart from the start – I had the last of my post-transplant jabs (the ones I’ve been having approximately seven years late), the pneumonia one. I’ve had it once before, and I forgot how painful it is. I have a very sore arm tonight. Thankfully, it’s not the arm I sleep on. Also a woman came and sat next to me and she had a snotty tissue so I moved away because I didn’t want to catch her germs. I looked like a horrible person, but I don’t care, I really don’t want to get sick. 

Came home to have coffee and give the kittens second breakfast before going to the chiro. Trine gave my lower back a big stretch out, and found that I was really tense at the base of my neck. I’m not going to help myself either because on Friday I’m going to do my wrapping – sitting at a table for that long always causes me a lot of pain. 

From there, we had a trip into town to finish Christmas shopping and for me to get my wrapping stuff. I started off in Selfridges, then Superdrug (for things that were not presents), Foyles, Whittard’s and John Lewis. I met up with Mommy and we went up the German market so I could get a red sausage. A must, every year. 

On the way back through Grand Central to get my wrapping, I noticed Joe waiting for some food with a friend of his, so I went over and we had a lovely little catch up! Plus his friend Ben said I could get gold glitter wrapping paper in Tiger for less than Paperchase which was excellent! We did have to go to Paperchase anyway for tags and ribbon, where we bumped into Vicky and Laura, another delightful surprise! I have invited them round for kitten cuddles at some point over the next couple of weeks. 

At home, I fed the very hungry kittens, and have spent the rest of my afternoon writing my Christmas cards. I am getting very much into the festive spirit. 

The 8th of December.

Back in London for our annual Christmas shopping trip. Kittens were fine so we didn’t have to worry about them while we were out. We left the house at half past nine for our train at half ten, and had a very uneventful journey down, save for a super fun baby who I got to make faces at.

From Euston, we went straight to Selfridges. I was disappointed to find that they had no rainbow bagels, but that was probably for the best, as we need to make space in the freezer, not take up more. We went up to the Christmas shop, where I bought a very cute mouse ornament, and found exactly the kind of wrapping paper I want to use this year, so now I just need to get it here, as I wasn’t going to carry it round London all day. We made our way over to the Selfridges Kitchen to get a table, and soon enough, Lauren appeared! We swapped presents, then went to get food. I had a smoked salmon, cream cheese and spinach crêpe, and we got to catch up, mainly talking about Christmas and her job.

When we were done, she went home for a nap, and Mommy and I went to Liberty. I cannot be in their scarf hall without thinking of The Apprentice now. Their Christmas shop was not very exciting – there were some cat decorations that I liked but I was not prepared to pay £15 for one. Maybe £5. Also they have a big thing about peacocks this year. Is the traditional Christmas peacock something I’ve missed? Anyway. On the way out, I had a great experience with a guide dog in the lift who moved out of the way of my chair in such a courteous fashion, it was adorable.

Next stop Anthropologie. I just wanted one of their Christmas mugs, and Mommy wanted to buy things that will be Grandma’s Christmas presents to her and Daddy. I couldn’t find the mug, and there was a part of the shop that was inaccessible because of steps, so a very helpful customer service assistant took me through the back of the shop and down in the goods lift. It was really tight and awkward but she was so good, then when I still couldn’t find the mug, she went and got one for me! Then, when we’d paid, instead of me going back the difficult way, the helpful lady got the boys on staff to come and carry the chair up the five steps so I could use the normal lift. I was so impressed with them.

Our next destination required a taxi, who took us to Dominique Ansel Bakery. It was amazingly not busy, so we were able to have a good look at everything before deciding. I had to have a cronut – an actual cronut – and Mommy had a Kouign Amann. My cronut tasted like a Kinder Bueno. I would like to try maybe a chocolate one so I can compare it to a Rinkoffs one, but I would say the Rinkoffs version is just as good. I also bought an extra moist brownie and a chocolate chunk cookie to take home.

Last stop was Harrods. I bought a brownie from there too, plus some coffee and biscuits. In their Christmas shop, I got a little mouse in a Harrods vest to go on the tree, and there was a very tense moment when we heard a smash and everyone went silent and looked around for the culprit. Thankfully, it was someone who worked there, so it was fine. It’ll just come out of her wages. We had a mildly stressful moment in Villeroy and Boch when they couldn’t find a stock version of what we wanted to buy, so we ended up taking the display one, then hurrying out so we could get a cab back to Euston.

It felt like the longest journey in the world, but we finally arrived with just moments to spare.

Home, toasted teacake, bed.

The 9th of December. 

I feel pretty ropey today – super tired, and my left eye has been really sensitive and sore all day which hasn’t helped. 

So it’s been a pretty quiet day. After breakfast, coffee and lots of kitten hugs, I spent a good hour writing about yesterday. I would have written up the post for the 6th and 7th, but looking at screens has been quite painful. That has also meant that I couldn’t really do the Christmas shopping u wanted to do today. Maybe tomorrow if my eye is better. 

After lunch (and half my Dominique Ansel cookie), I went upstairs to lie down and give my eyes a rest from looking at anything for a while. I gave the kittens a good cuddle as well because we had to go back to the vet today. It was just for their general health check so nobody got stabbed in the neck like last time. They certainly remember that because none of them wanted to get in the carrier today – two ran to hide under the chair.  

We did get them all though, and Rory the vet was very happy with them all. They need to eat more before they can be neutered, but I don’t even know what the plan is for them right now. There are things that need to be worked out but I don’t need to worry about that, I just have to keep feeding and petting them. I can do that.