Archives For sunday brunch

The 27th of August. 

Slightly better night. I definitely slept more, and my dreams weren’t upsetting. Improvement all round. 

Sunday Brunch this morning, although the only person I really immediately recognised was Tori Amos. None of the comedy pals were on this week. Wrote up a blog post, and exchanged messages with Sophie about her and Pete’s twins, which I can now talk about because they have been officially announced. They were born a week ago, both still in hospital until they get a bit bigger. 

Grandma came for lunch, after an appalling lunch yesterday – wanted to make sure she had a decent meal this weekend. She was given “lasagna” but it looks like sloppy leftovers you wouldn’t even give to a dog. Absolutely fucking atrocious.

After lunch, I went upstairs and watched the last episode of Doctor Foster, then Penny came to visit! She has come home for the weekend so came to see the kittens and had a lovely time talking to Harvey in a ridiculous voice. We had to leave when a poo happened, so we went and ate chocolate and toffee cookie cake in the kitchen. I haven’t seen her properly for years so it was really nice to hang out. She is a babe. 

The 28th of August. 

I had sleep, but the dreams were not good. I am not happy with my brain right now – so many bad dreams, this is not normal. 

It is hot. Even I am actually too warm; I have had to take my cardigan off. Very unusual. Most of my day has been spent with the curtains drawn, crocheting. I think I may have actually crocheted too much, because my left hand is very achy now. No more today. 

This afternoon, I made myself an iced coffee, and it was so painful. The standing up to do so, I mean. My appointment with Dr. Blaney isn’t until the third of October, so until then, I just have to suffer. When I do have to stand, or sit in an unsupportive chair, all I can think about is being able to rest, such is the agony. Penny asked me yesterday what it was like and it is so hard to describe – it’s like there is a knife plunged into my spine and if just stays there, never abating. 




The 16th of July. 

I’m not feeling quite so terrible today. I slept until half past nine which is a lie-in to me, and spent my morning enjoying Joe on Sunday Brunch and writing up a blog post. Back on schedule for at least one entry. 

After lunch, I had a hairwash, then tried on a bunch of clothes. I cannot find something in my wardrobe that goes with the shirt I got – if I put it with a skirt, I look like a teacher (and not in a good way), and the only item that it worked with was some pink shorts. If I were going to be able to stand up while I talk to people on Tuesday that would be fine, but I can’t do that and breathe. However, when I sit down in the shorts, they become really too short to be appropriate. So tomorrow after liver clinic, shopping we will go. 

I have been to pet the kitties, and I made Bree purr! The only times she has purred have been when she is feeding from Betty, but this afternoon, Betty was not near her, and I stroked her into submission. I am the best at cats. 

The 17th of July. 

Last early start for a few days. This morning we had to leave the house at 8 to get to liver clinic at 9. Got there only just in time, but still before the doctors! Still, James didn’t exactly have chance to start running late, and there was only one chap ahead of me. We had a chat about my recent stays in, and he was delighted to say that while I was incapable of breathing, my liver coped extremely well! Good work, liver. He was also happy to do my referral to the lymphoedema clinic, and he is good at doing things, so hopefully they contact me relatively soon. 

When we were finished, we went to town to find some trousers to go with my shirt for tomorrow. Incredibly, the first pair I tried on were right! I tried on a few more, just to make sure, but they weren’t as good, so we were done pretty quickly and were home by lunchtime!

This afternoon, I watched two episodes of Nashville, only crying in one, then I went to sit with the kitties and watch Orphan Black. There was a fly in the room which they found greatly interesting, so much so that Bree chased it into the window. Stupid kitty. 

The 10th of June.

Is been a weird sort of day. Back home, back in my own bed (which was beautiful), but outside of our lives, the world is imploding. Part of me wants to avoid the news until it is all sorted but part wants to get up and fight for what is right because five more years of what we have been enduring is a death sentence , and that is not an exaggeration.

I might be feeling buoyed because I have just watched Wonder Woman. I am ready to kick the asses of a thousand men. We went to a 2.20 screening, and about five minutes before we were due to leave, Mommy got a phone call from Grandma’s home because she had fallen (her dining chair broke), she’d hit her head and was refusing medical treatment, so she had to go down there to convince her otherwise.

There was nothing Daddy and I could do, so we went to the film. There were some pretty terrible people in the screen (who takes a seven year old to a 12A?) so I had to ignore them but that wasn’t too difficult. It is a decent film – there are some holes and I had major issues with continuity and Ares just doing the whole “villain explaining his plan” – but I still enjoyed Gal Gadot being super badass. I liked the beginning part the best though. All the women being strong and awesome. More of this all the time! Show little girls we can fight.

Grandma has gone to hospital and is having a CT. I think she is going to be okay.

The 11th of June.

My bed is so great. I won’t mention it again (until my next admission). I have just missed it a lot.

This morning was Sunday Brunch and apparently the finale of season 2 of Scream, although there is another one left on Netflix? I don’t really understand. However, I feel quite smug as I had thought that Kieran might be the killer since he showed up at the funfair (sorry if that’s a spoiler but oh well). He was too quick.

Grandma came to join us for lunch – she is fine, just a bit bruised. I say “lunch”, but it wasn’t until five. She sat in the back room and watched the tennis (good thing we have no kitties at the moment), and I did much crocheting. I’m making another bear, this time for Jodie who was in the year below me at school and is expecting her first child.

Got my hair washed, and I had a really nice lie down with traditional Sunday afternoon radio. I also achieved quite a milestone – I climbed the stairs without oxygen and didn’t feel like I was going to die! Well done me. Maybe there is some hope for the rest of this year.

The 20th of August. 

It has been a really good day. 

I got up at a normal time, and the pain I had while making my breakfast was mitigated by the fact that I knew I was having my MRI this afternoon and soon we will know things. I had an email from Sheila to say that the lady I was going to ring had phoned her this morning to say she definitely wants the cat she saw last night, so she wasn’t going to come and look at Nova. Fine with me!

Went out at half eleven to meet Rachel for lunch at Yorks at twelve. It was the one on Stephenson Street which I hadn’t been to until today, so it was nice to see it in person. She was already there when I arrived, and brought me some water which was secretly infused with cucumber and the taste was very confusing. We had coffee, then I ordered eggs benedict for my lunch which was really good, and I only stopped when I choked on a tiny piece of egg which tried to go down the wrong hole. It was my own fault; I tried to talk before I swallowed. I gave her the flowerpot kitty, which might upset their budgies but hopefully they don’t attack it. We just had a really nice catch up, talked about her PhD, my kittens, fun dogs, and watching people outside in the ever-changing weather. 

Mommy came to pick me up about twenty past three to take me for my scan, asking everything moved very quickly! No time to even get my book out, let alone read any. I got changed into a gown and went into the room having answered all the questions, I lay down, and they put a support under my knees and gave me some earplugs. They put the alarm button in my hands incase I had a panic (I never do), and they put some blocks either side of my head and a cage (it’s not a cage but I can’t think of the right word) around my chest to keep me still, then put a blanket over me because I was a bit cold. 

Then I just lay there, eyes closed and cursed silently when my leg would spasm. Listening to all the different noises, imagining all the waves moving through my body. I was in there much longer than I expected, and I was really hot when it was over. So glad to get that blanket off. I was pulled out by two new people who’d taken over, and I put in a plea for the report to be done asap. We can but hope!

The 21st of August. 

Normal service has resumed; back to doing very little. I was able to have almost a normal amount of orange juice this morning, so that consistent treatment of the ulcer on my tongue must be working. Right after we’ve got a load of Difflam. Still, it lasts a long time so I doubt it’ll be wasted. 

Sunday Brunch all morning, which today involved retriever puppies and Miles Jupp whose cackle I just adore. Grandma arrived towards the end having been picked up from church. Daddy fixed my wheelchair because it has been misbehaving a little, but suddenly came over all weird and spent a lot of the rest of the day in bed. It happened on Friday evening too and we can’t really work out a trigger. It’s very mysterious. 

We had pheasant for lunch, then I have spent the majority of my afternoon crocheting the jumper. Twenty two rows of fifty stitches takes a good few hours, and now I’ve got to the end of the end of what I’ve deemed the first section. When I’d got to the end of row 32, I started Slade House by David Mitchell, and have got through the first two chapters. I don’t think it’ll take me long to finish. 

Just had Taid in the phone and his helper woman has just quit without warning and actually without word at all – he’s had to ring her son who has spoken to her and she’s just ignoring the situation completely. She has, in effect, ghosted on him and I’m so, so appalled. I’d like to call her up and ask her who the hell she thinks she is. 

The 14th of August.

Very sedentary and back to a much more normal pattern of sleep! As in, I dropped off when I wanted to, and didn’t wake up at stupid early time. So that’s nice!

This morning I found Sunday Brunch vastly entertaining because Noel Fitzpatrick was on it being supremely weird and basically me when I am with comedians. Wrote a post, and did some more crocheting of the baby blanket. It will be quite adorable when I finish, and now I’m over halfway through. 

After lunch I washed my hair and had a look at how the rash is doing – second day off oxycontin and it’s fading now, it should be gone by tomorrow night or Tuesday. Stupid drugs, messing with me. Then I stayed upstairs and watched the final three episodes of Fringe while crocheting. The very last episode made me cry a ridiculous amount, I was in absolute bits. Terrible. And now I have to find something new to watch. I’m thinking Sense8 maybe. 

Now watching the men’s gymnastics finals and Mommy just called Max Whitlock a bastard for beating Louis Smith on the pommel horse.

The 15th of August. 

I am sleepy today because I have done so little. This back pain is going to be very good for my crocheting – I did another quarter of the blanket this afternoon. It won’t get finished tomorrow though because it’s my diagnosis anniversary and I’ve got things to do! Places to go, food to eat. 

I’d say the rash is pretty much gone now which is nice, I was still a bit itchy last night, had to have a little back rub against my slightly scratchy wallpaper. It’s a good thing we took pictures because I don’t think there will be anything left to show Ram on Wednesday. 

Alas, it has just been another day of tv and crochet. A bit of horse-dancing, something I will never understand. How do you teach a horse to do that? Kick its legs out and sidestep like a crab? It is very clever. 

I apologise for these very short and rather boring entries but there is so little to report on! Sometimes a blessing, sometimes a curse. 

The 13th of March. 

I thought sleep and a shower would improve my mood but it hasn’t. I woke up exhausted and gave myself another half hour in bed, trying to forget how my self-worth is tied up in how other people perceive me, still. 

I stayed in my pyjamas all morning, watching Sunday Brunch and trying to articulate how I felt yesterday. It didn’t help. When it had finished and my parents had gone out to take Grandma home from church, I went upstairs to wash my hair and listen to Sia as loud as I could. That felt okay while I was up there, singing I don’t wanna die.

It’s been Liv’s hen party today, and several of the girls I was friends with at school went to celebrate. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t expecting to be invited, that all fizzled out a long time ago, but I just wonder if I’d never been ill, or if I at least was fine now, if we’d still be friends. I try not to think about all the things I could do if I just had that ability to walk about as I pleased because it’s too depressing. The life I could have had, the person I might have been, the person I might have been with. What was the point in fighting for so long for a life that can feel so empty?

The 14th of March. 

I feel marginally better today. More sleep, some India.Arie and kitty hugs. I had my breakfast and coffee, then watched This Morning with Monica. As in, she sat on the floor in front of the tv and stared at it. I assume after a while it must have hurt her neck, because she jumped up onto the green chair and watched from there. It’s weird, I’ve had it on all week but it’s like she only really noticed it last night. Funny cat. 

After lunch, it was Marvel time, and today’s episodes are very stressful! I texted Christine a lot, and it was a good thing I was alone in the house because I was doing so much shouting at Fitz and Coulson, anyone around would have been worried about me. 

Back to Monica once the programmes were over, and she sat on my lap and did much loud purring. She just chunters away while I scratch her head. So cosy. Speaking of cosy, my new pyjama bottoms have arrived and they’re so soft, I cannot wait to tuck myself up in them tonight. 

The 3rd of January. 

Last night was the worst yet. I didn’t sleep at all until some time past seven this morning, then it was only for an hour or so. My chest wouldn’t stop rattling, and I couldn’t find a way to ease the coughing. It has been awful. I was cold, but didn’t want to get out of bed to get my dressing town. I have a thicker blanket for tonight.

I stayed in bed all morning, listening to Sunday Brunch and trying to find comfortable positions. There were some brief periods of respite. I thought I’d better get out of bed at maybe half past eleven? Mommy got some clothes out for me, I slowly made my way downstairs and we had some lunch while watching Alice in Wonderland from 1951. I think we used to have it on video, back when I was wee.

I’ve spent the afternoon mainly on the floor, listening to films and failing to subdue the rattle. It is so very tiresome, forever bringing up junk from my lungs. It never fails to amaze me just how much phlegm my body can produce (attractive, I know).

Zopiclone tonight. 

The 4th of January. 

The Zopiclone worked, thank God. I am never sure it’s going to. I tried several positions and actually slept with my head on my pillow for the first time in days last night. Mommy came in at ten to wake me, then again at ten past when I actually sat up and agreed to do things. Mommy put all my little glass Christmas ornaments on a tray on my bed and I wrapped them all up in tissue and put them in the boxes. They will not spend the year on display again like the last time I was poorly post-Christmas. 

I got downstairs earlier today. I don’t remember having lunch but I know I did – I took a picture to remind myself. It was a toasted cheese bagel. I was very careful about chewing it all and trying not to cough while I ate. I got through it without choking, victory! The amount of trepidation I feel about eating crummy foods is higher than is probably rational but last time it happened was so terrifying, I really don’t want to repeat it. 

I have done a tiny amount of crocheting, but this afternoon I think I’ve been mainly on the floor. Sounds bizarre, but it works.