Archives For the polar express

The 16th of December.

It lifted, thank god. The wrapping day was not ruined. I woke up in time to say bye to Mommy and Daddy before they set off for Wales, then had my breakfast and wrote up a blog post. After fighting for a long time with the lock on the front door (I was being inept), I went round the corner to get some double sided tape and cotton wool pads (not for wrapping, I had just run out). 

After lunch, I set myself up at the dining table with my peppermint drinking fudge, The Polar Express, and all my wrapping paraphernalia. I spent the subsequent three hours indulging in festive spirit, and I have nearly finished, I just need to get some gift bags for a few things that even I am incapable of wrapping. Will pop into Paperchase after The Muppets tomorrow. 

Just after half four, I jumped in a taxi to go back to Black Sheep to have the toner cleansed our of my hair – washing did not give the desired effect. James was lovely and has fixed it, and I’m much happier now. 

I have just finished my dinner of a Domino’s personal pizza and two of four cookies, awaiting the arrival of my parents back home. They are mere moments away. 

The 17th of December. 

Today would have been 100% excellent if not for one (hopefully) minor inconvenience. But I will get to that. 

Woke up stupidly early for a Saturday, but for a good reason – Becky and I were going to watch The Muppets Christmas Carol at The Electric! She came to pick me up at quarter to nine, and off we went. We parked round the back of the cinema, then got some tea before taking our seats. I actually ordered a coffee, but it tasted awful so I went back and got a tea as well. The screening was not as busy as I expected, but some people still managed to be irritating by having brought their poorly-behaved, germ-riddled children. Not acceptable. Still, they could not ruin the magic for me. After all, it is the summer of the soul in December. 

Afterwards, we went to the Cereal Killer Café because I wanted to try one of their “cocktails”. I had a bowloccino, which is Nesquik, Coco Pops, a chocolate curl and espresso milk. So tasty! I would never go there for something like Special K, but combinations or ridiculous cereals, I am all for. 

Before coming home, we went into Paperchase so I could get some gift bags and more ribbon and tissue paper. Now I can finish my wrapping. 

Now to the inconvenience: I happened to push up my sleeves and thought “Ooh, my right arm looks a bit fat. Let’s give it a squish. Ooh, that’s a bit boggy for my liking. Actually, my right foot has felt puffier than usual for the past couple of days. And my breathing has been terrible of late.”

So I don’t know what’s going on, because I don’t have a line anymore, so that can’t be causing it, and it’s only one side, so I’m confused and unhappy. I have started diuretics to try to get rid of some of the fluid, but on Monday morning I might be ringing Gill Lowe to freak out. I don’t want to spend Christmas looking like the Stay Puft marshmallow man. 

This afternoon, Sadie came round! Mainly to see the kittens. She did not steal any (I checked). She was greatly amused by their interest in her feet. They love feet. We stayed with them until they fell asleep, then we watched the end of Mr. Magorium and ate the two remaining Domino’s cookies. 

She had to go about four to make sure her dad had done the pile of sorting she’d left him. Sometimes I wonder who the parent is in that relationship. 

Hoping to god my body deflates with peeing. Don’t make me have another venoplasty. 

The 13th of December. 

Feeling that particular type of melancholy that comes after a double Zopiclone. I’m sure I’m perfectly fine, I’m just disappointed at no specific thing. 

I slept late because I wasn’t going to get up to watch Sunday Brunch when I could watch it on delay and have more time in the dreamless sleep I get with medical assistance. I formulated a blog post and made one snowball. Five left. Plus their little hats. 

This afternoon, we went to see Carol, which is a shame because it probably means won’t really remember it, but I suppose at least I’ll forget the excruciating awkwardness of watching the sex scene with Daddy. At least we were in Gold Class so I felt like I could’ve been alone. 

It didn’t make me sad in the way I expected it to. I thought I’d just be grieving for the love affair I have forsaken, but I’m actually just unhappy about how shit people can be, how attitudes were, are, even if someone is hurting, it’s no excuse, how cold New York looks in the winter. 

The 14th of December. 

Another bad night – not only did it take me ages to get to sleep again, I also had a terrifying dream about loads of spiders, some of which were as big as my bedroom wall. It was very upsetting. 

I have been doing Christmassy things all day, so the kitty is very sad. I need to go and see him when I’ve finished doing this. This morning I crocheted one small and two medium-sized snowball chaps, and had a visit from a man from the oxygen company. They just have to come twice a year to check everything is okay and I don’t need anything new. I’ve thankfully not needed it since last winter when I was confined to the house because I couldn’t breathe without the tank, and I’m just hoping I make it past my birthday without it too. 

After lunch, I went to the dining room and spent four hours wrapping presents and writing cards. Irritatingly, I need another ribbon of each colour and another packet of tags, so that’s Wednesday morning. I watched The Polar Express and made myself a Buck’s Fizz white hot chocolate to drink while I folded paper and tied ribbons. My back is aching dreadfully – I need to have a lie down, stretch out. 

The dining room table is covered in glitter. 

The 16th of December. 

I had to have another Zopiclone night because my brain was too excited about Lauren and Grazia today! 

So obviously the first thing I did this morning was to go round the corner and buy all the Grazia! Well, we bought three. Had to leave some behind for other people to buy! Mommy read it and had a tiny cry so I smushed her and pretended to be a penguin. 

Lauren came round at half twelve for pizza and The Grinch! We put her vegan pizzas in the oven and I ordered Domino’s and it was delicious. I gave her her scarf and it swamps her but that is what she wanted so that’s good! Her mum had bought me a Hotel Chocolat Christmas Sleekster box, and Lauren had made me gingerbread so I’m definitely going to be starting on the winter bulking! All the foods. 

When Mommy came home from Grandma’s, we went through the photos Grazia sent so I’ll post my favourites at some point. Then it was time for her to go! We had lots of hugs and it was so good to see her, my lil sis. 

The 17th of December. 

Today has been really pretty great. Christmas music in the car on the way to the QE which is always a good way to start the day. Then some twitter magic happened in that someone my my mum was friends with at school and still sends Christmas cards to had a daughter who went to school with Josie Long and in short, she’s going to come to my house to do a private gig in February! I was sat in photopheresis, grinning insanely. People are great. 

This afternoon I have been wrapping all of the things! Well, I wrapped Mommy and Daddy’s presents. It took the entirety of The Polar Express and a little bit longer. I love that film -it is one of my few good memories of ward 8. I stopped at about half past five, by which time my ankles and feet were really swollen from the amlodipine and extra fluid you get given back during photopheresis. 

Tonight I went to Miller & Carter with Becky for festive food and joy. There was only one problem – none of my shoes fit me because my feet were so enormous. I wore Mommy’s size 8 boots when I’m normally a 6/7. The skin is so stretched, it’s so painful. Anyway! The food was super tasty and we were defeated – couldn’t even finish our main courses! 

When we got back, Hamilton decided to be a gladiator! I filmed him and added the Gladiators theme tune. It’s probably one of my greatest achievements.