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Documenting not dying since October 2013.

The 16th & 17th; Cushions feel like clouds.

The 16th & 17th; Cushions feel like clouds.

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The 16th of June. Three hours of sleep. Street noise, bin lorries, club music unbelievable. Drop off about four. Up at seven. Pad about, make disgusting scummy tea. Refuse hotel breakfast, insist we go on family trip to Hjem for delightful Danish pastries and granola and really good coffee. Feel better. Go to V&A to meet Christine. She and Daddy go to Ocean Liners, Mommy to fashion, I go to miniature portraits, except the wrong way via household objects. Finally get to tiny pictures, just reach the end when Auntie Hilary texts me to say she and Jeremy are here. I sweep round jewellery, marvelling at the sparkly things, go to find family. Go to restaurant, and spend three hours eating and catching up on life in detail. Have to leave at three to get back to Euston for train home. Big hugs. Taxi to station. Buy fruity drink and magazines. Get put in least favourite wheelchair position. Train stops at Rugby because of suicide. Everyone gets off and we wait for ramp. Then train is allowed to go to Coventry; we go alone. Alight at Coventry, find ourselves stuck. Wait for coach. For some reason, no coaches will go to Birmingham so after 40 minutes we are put in a taxi. Driver gets lost trying to find New Street station so we end up getting out in Chinatown. Daddy goes to get the car from the NIA car park, Mommy and I go to the station to get food from M&S, wait for Daddy. He picks us up, we drive home, get here just after eight, two hours late. Pain indescribable. Cushions feel like clouds. I eat crumpets. I take Zopiclone. I collapse.

The 17th of June.

No energy today. Had two Zopiclone last night, so today I'm useless but I don't care. My bed was amazing.

Unsurprisingly, I haven't much to say. This morning, during breakfast and coffee, I watched Sunday Brunch (sort of - I couldn't tell you what happened). I wanted to give crocheting a hexagon a try because I'm going to make a blanket of them. Thought I ought to practise. When getting out a hook, I discovered that two have gone missing (the 2.5mm and the 10mm). I had the 10 out not long ago to make the multicoloured cardigan, yet it has disappeared. We've searched everywhere but they're nowhere to be found. I can't lie, I was so tired and confused, I nearly cried.

Dolly is back under the chair (she managed to get under the front which is frankly very impressive) and not coming out for anything, so this afternoon I sat with her, crocheting a hexagon with one of the hooks I do have, and watching The Incredibles. Nothing that required memory or attention. By the end, I'd got her to eat a Dreamie I put right in front of her face.

After that, I wrote about the weekend and now it is time for partridge. I want to go to bed for a week.

The 18th & 19th; Cannabis oil it is!

The 18th & 19th; Cannabis oil it is!

The 14th & 15th; Exhausted and furious.

The 14th & 15th; Exhausted and furious.