face 3.png

Documenting not dying since October 2013.

The 24th & 25th; I just can't relate.

The 24th & 25th; I just can't relate.

The 24th of September. 

Oh, it's been a beautiful day. Not weather-wise, no. It has utterly pissed it down, although thankfully not in the hour that I was out of the house. No, I mean in the news. I watched the ruling this morning with clenched fists and jaw, until Lady Hale said the words "The Court is bound to conclude, therefore, that the decision to advise Her Majesty to prorogue Parliament was unlawful". At that point, I turned into the Cheshire cat, grinning as wide as my face would allow. 

Therefore, I have been glued to the news for most of the day. Obviously if it had gone the other day, I would have probably hidden in my bedroom, but hey, in times like these, I'll take my wins where I can get them. I put up a blog post, then tried to only look at the TV screen, because my eyes have suffered over recent days of lots of iPad time. 

This afternoon, I had a good, long, Dark Time - closed curtains, eye mask on, and a Pappy's House Meeting. When that finished, I set an alarm for quarter to four, then put my blanket over myself and rested all my senses until then. When the alarm went off, I came back downstairs to take my four o'clock tablets, then I'd got a cancellation appointment with Trine at half four so we went back to the chiro. 

A much less painful appointment today, although there was still some work to be done. My neck has decided to play up since last week, so I've kept my appointment for next week just to make sure everything is settled before I resume my normal pattern. 

The 25th of September. 

It feels like we were on the go from the very beginning today, as while I was making my coffee, Alison arrived with Harry for us to babysit for an hour or so. I entered the living room to find him sitting up with some sunshine in his mouth and a dog yapping at his feet. He and I had a cuddle, and he had a good look around at everything, particularly enjoying Daddy's beard - a huge smile broke out when he appeared in the doorway. Daddy picked him up and they had a chat with the baby in the mirror, then he returned to the floor to do some supported standing. By the end of the hour, he was getting tired, but because he finds everything so interesting, he refuses to go to sleep. There's so much to look at! So when Alison arrived to pick him up (she'd been for a doctor's appointment), she was able to take him for a walk around the block in the pram which would send him off to sleep while she put in her prescription. 

There wasn't much of the morning left then, but enough to order some more coffee and see Geoffrey Cox behaving like a prick as the House of Commons returned. It honestly baffles me how they can act the way they do and think they deserve any kind of respect?

This afternoon I had another good Dark Time before my eye appointment tomorrow. Today I listened to the new MOHpod with Desiree Burch, although I think my mind wandered/I fell asleep for parts of it. I got distracted by a conversation they had about relationships, and the way they loved in their teens compared to how they do now, and loneliness. Their conversation was centred around being fat, but a lot of the same things apply to being thin and in a wheelchair. We still have desires, we want to be loved, we want to be seen as people who are wanted. They talked about how you think you know love, but then you find out you didn't. I used to think I knew what love felt like, but now I'm not so sure, and I don't think I ever will. I'd already resigned myself to not ever having another relationship, but sometimes people make throwaway comments about "the kind of relationship we've all had where..." and I just can't relate, and it doesn't really bother me until I hear something like that and I realise how much life experience I have missed out on. I used to only be sad about never knowing how it would feel to be loved, but now I don't think I'll ever know how to love either. 

The 26th & 27th; I just want to be able to see again.

The 26th & 27th; I just want to be able to see again.

The 22nd & 23rd; Another miraculous recovery.

The 22nd & 23rd; Another miraculous recovery.