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Documenting not dying since October 2013.

The 28th & 29th; I am getting bored.

The 28th & 29th; I am getting bored.

The 28th of September. 

As much as I like being able to put my feet up and recuperate and blah blah blah, I am getting bored. 

This morning, I did my usual - breakfast, coffee, Saturday Kitchen, blog post. The only unusual thing I did was send Rakeem the answer to a question he asked me that I couldn't quite come up with on the spot. 

After lunch, I ended up with three of the four living room curtains shut because it has just been so bright today. I so long for the day when I have my second cataract surgery, and the rest (or at least the majority of) my photophobia is cured. The first one made such a difference, and I am so tired of living in such relative darkness all the time. I watched two episodes of How To Get Away With Murder, and I've decided it is the best show on television. It is written so well - so unlike some of the shows I watch (ahem Riverdale) in which there are so many plot threads that it seems nobody has planned or is keeping track of, every twist follows through. The writers actually talk to each other and it seems like somebody has plotted certainly how each season is going to go, if not the whole show. I love it so much. 

I also started knitting another kitten blanket. Got my big wooden needles out and I'm just using up the thick wool that I got from unravelling my jumper. It is nice to have something to do with my hands, even if I can't quite do the Moomin jumper like I want to. Another reason I want to have the surgery. Hopefully at my next appointment with Mr. Kolli, my pressures will have gone down, the inflammation will be under control, then I can have the injections to deal with the vessels and I can have my surgery! 

The 29th of September. 

Ugh well I didn't have a great start to the day, when I choked on my coffee and ended up doing a tiny sick back into my mug, and onto my trousers and the carpet. 

Obviously I then had to change my trousers, and it was at that point that we noticed that the dressings we'd got covering my knees (but allowing air flow) weren't really stuck anymore, so we took them off and since then, I've had new joggers pulled up above my knees and warm socks that reach just below the scabs. However, having the scabs so accessible has been absolute agony, mentally. I am such a picker, and all I can think about is how much I want to mess with them, despite knowing how much worse it would make them. There were bits that came off easily, and I allowed myself those, because their removal hasn't hindered the healing. Anything else is dangerous. Before I put my pyjamas on, I'll have to put new coverings on to protect them. Today has made it clear that although I have some degree of self-control, it's not very strong. 

Spent most of the day finishing the kitten blanket, so that's pinned out now, waiting to be ironed. I'm not sure when that'll happen though, because Mommy's having the cyst thing on her wrist removed tomorrow and we've got no idea what kind of function she'll have afterwards. Still, it's not like we have any kittens that need one at the moment. The tiny kitty that Shaki brought me the other week had to be put to sleep, because she had a problem with her bone marrow which just got worse as she grew. So we won't have her. 

I finished that while watching The Shallows, which is the Blake Lively vs. Shark film. It does emphasise how good she is, when she's basically on her own for the entire time. Sure, some of the story was a bit contrived - the dead mother, dropping out of medical school, and doing stitches with the necklace was rather unrealistic, but one has to suspend belief a bit. It is helpful for my self-esteem that even one of the most beautiful women in the world (in my opinion) doesn't look great when she's meant to be near death on a rock. Thank you. 

The 30th & 1st; I can be conscious.

The 30th & 1st; I can be conscious.

The 26th & 27th; I just want to be able to see again.

The 26th & 27th; I just want to be able to see again.