The 15th & 16th; I've got loads of Tramadol. — In one of the stars I shall be living.

The 15th of April. Sweet baby Jesus my back has never hurt this much. I spiked yesterday evening and again at 1am, so I've had barely any sleep. My back now just hurts constantly at a fairly high level, then I get breakthrough pain when I move and sometimes when I do nothing.

I had clinic today, so we arrived at about ten, waited for three hours and was finally seen by Ram at one. I was almost in tears by this point, and nearly broke down when trying to describe the pain. I've got loads of Tramadol, starting on 200mg a day and if that doesn't work, I can double it. We had to get a massive order from pharmacy, three huge bags, so I gave them my prescription and we went for lunch while we waited for an hour. I was starving.

Oh and no results from any of my tests were back yet, so we have to ring up tomorrow. Ram said depending on what the x-ray shows, I'll probably need an MRI which I can't currently imagine as lying flat is incredibly painful.

Getting out of the chair after five hours was no fun at all, I was incredibly stiff, and since getting home, I have just stayed in the armchair. This is just awful.

The 16th of April.

Things are better today. I had two lorazepam last night which did help - I didn't get up until about ten. I was a bit stiff, but once I'd got the Tramadol on board, it started building up inside my system and I can walk around a bit better now. The constant ache I had its basically gone, which is a huge relief. I also haven't spiked since 1am yesterday, so I'm hoping that continues.

Today I've just watched tv that I don't need to remember (Lorazepam makes me forget what's happened in the day after I've taken it) and made the last two legs for Anna's elephant. I've put that on pause for the night as I'm going to make a black sheep to give to Michaela tomorrow. I've also been through the new Hummingbird Bakery book which arrived in the post today, and there seem to be many tasty things I want to make, like the birthday cake cookies and chocolate doberge cake.

Igor just rang to see how I am (bless him), so I told him, but none of the results are back yet and there's no record of the urine sample being at the lab, so he wants me to go in tomorrow at half one to have more bloods done and do another urine sample. He knows I need to leave by half two.

Right, back to the black sheep!