The 1st & 2nd; Sad and useless.

 The 1st of December.

Despite it being the start of advent, I have felt kind of sad and useless all day. I think it started when I made my advent calendar coffee this morning - it was just a huge amount of effort, and immensely painful for my back. I don't know if I can do that every day for a month.

I wrote up a blog post, and I've really done very little else. I finally got to the very end of House, and cried at Wilson struggling with his mortality.

I got a letter from Dr. Thompson the other day - well, it's a letter to a Dr. Madathil and I've been copied in. It's about my sats at night after I wore that little device the other week - there is evidence of hypoxemia so he thinks I should go to the sleep clinic to see this guy. He wrote that I have "advanced lung disease" and although I know that, I don't see the words in black and white very often. It makes me wonder how long I have left.

The 2nd of December.

I feel better today. Haven't been massively productive but hey. I had some help with my coffee so I had less pain. Spent my morning watching Sunday Brunch and painting my nails. Oh, and answering the door to the Amazon and Hermes men, the latter of which greatly appreciated my festive attire.

This afternoon, I did do a bit of crochet (back on the jumper because the wool I bought for the mice is not going to work - it's too fine) while Mommy and I watched Netflix's The Christmas Chronicles. At first, it seemed fine, not exceptional, but it became really rather good. The elves are great. However, if you are a sap like me, you will cry at the end. Just warning you in advance.

Oh man I have to get up so early. Ambulatory Care at 8am.