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Documenting not dying since October 2013.

The 3rd & 4th; I barely coughed at all.

The 3rd & 4th; I barely coughed at all.

 The 3rd of April.

It has been a long day. We had to go out at twenty past eight for my cataract clinic appointment, so I was on my second coffee by half past nine. First I saw the nurse, who checked my vision and put the dilating drops in. I waited for them to kick in, then I had the curve of my eyes scanned, and the depths of my eyeballs measured by two different nurses. Had a good old chat with the second one about PIP assessors and how most of them are awful people.

Then I got called in by one of Mr. Kolli's minions, who did not start off well with me because when he saw me move from my wheelchair into the one at the table, he was like "Hey, your legs work fine, why do you need a wheelchair?" which obviously got my back up, so I shot back "Because my lungs don't work properly, have you not read my notes?" I think he understood then that he'd made an error, and made an effort to ask how I was experiencing things instead of making any more assumptions. I forgave him. He had a look at the cataracts (apparently the right eye is worse than the left), whipped out several eyelashes, then we were just starting to talk about surgery when Mr. Kolli came in. He had a quick look, then I talked to him about the surgery instead, which was the point of today anyway. We talked about how I can only have a single-focus lens on the NHS, but we both think I will be fine with that (and I don't really want to fork out £4000 per eye for multi-focus), so I'll be able to see for distance but I'll need glasses for intermediate and close up. That'll be weird - I've worn glasses full time since I was about ten. I will probably get either bi or varifocals with clear glass in the top and prescription lower down. Because of the GvHD, I have to start the prednisolone drops again for the next two weeks, then I'll see him again, they'll check my pressures (they are okay at the moment) and then I'll be listed for surgery. Not sure how long it'll be before the surgery actually happens; will have to ask that in a fortnight. He did also say that it is all done with local anaesthetic drops, not even any injections like I've had with the electrolysis. They normally knock young people out for this but obviously that's not an option with me. It's fine; I am a brave girl.

I couldn't do any knitting this afternoon because the dilating drops still hadn't worn off, so I watched the second part of of Leaving Neverland. I'd forgotten how utterly fucked up his face was by the time he died. I remember i cried when that happened. What an idiot.

The 4th of April.

My left eye is really quite unhappy about having been looked at so intensely yesterday. God knows how it's going to be after it has an accrual scalpel in it.

Other than that, I've felt pretty good today! This morning I worked on making the dog on the front of my jumper, while Daddy spied on the neighbours' workmen replacing the fence between us and them. Looks like their new patio is super high so they'll be able to fully see into our garden. Awkward.

After lunch, Daddy and I finally went to see Captain Marvel! I didn't want to go while I was still coughing a lot, but today I haven't been, and it's been out a while so I thought it would be quiet enough for any coughs to not be too bothersome. More people than I expected turned up, but they were all well-behaved, and I barely coughed at all, so it was okay. The film was lots of fun, as I had expected, but I kind of saw the twist coming because in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. the Kree are quite evil. And now I am ready for ENDGAME. Whatever it takes.

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The 5th & 6th; I think I actually feel...alright?

The 5th & 6th; I think I actually feel...alright?

The 1st & 2nd; Graham died in the night.

The 1st & 2nd; Graham died in the night.