The 24th & 25th; Absolutely unbearable.

The 24th of July. 

Last night, my feet were so puffy and the skin so stretched, it hurt to walk. The heat really makes me retain fluid! Today I have tried to keep them elevated as much as possible, even though it hasn't been as hot.

This morning, I did a blog post, then sat and repeatedly phoned people in the eye department to see when I was going to see Mr. Kolli. I eventually got through to the clinic sister, who was not the helpful one I spoke to before, because she was adamant that she couldn't help me. I then tried another number she gave me, but they weren't there so I left a message, and then as a last resort I tried the clinic coordinator (she is not usually very useful, because of admin). She had a look and I was not down to be seen for a very long time, but she did happen to mention some kind of secret appointment list that he has, and if he wants to see me at a specific time he can put me on it. And then she discovered that he actually had a cancellation this afternoon at ten to four, which I obviously jumped at. 

Now we knew that was happening, my hair needed washing, so we got that out of the way, then Mommy went to Grandma's. After lunch, it became apparent to me that my legs needed shaving (my hair is very fine and light so it is stealthy) so I went back upstairs to do that before it was time for us to go out. Managed to get some extreme elevation time in as well up there while I listened to a podcast. No paying attention to the news today, it is absolutely unbearable. 

At the hospital, I didn't get called in by Mr. Kolli, because he had been yanked to do an emergency operation. This was not ideal for me for obvious reasons, but after I'd done some of the basic stuff with the doctor I was seeing (I have seen him before so he had some knowledge), he went to get some tweezers to deal with some rogue eyelashes, and came back with Mr. Kolli! I think the person who he was supposed to operate on hadn't appeared yet. Anyway, he looked at my eye and said it's getting better but it's not okay, so I have to keep going with all the eye drops, and he wants to see me again in a week. At that point I said that if he wants that, he needs to put me on his secret appointment list, and he said oh yes, I will take care of that, then he gave the other doctor a list of instructions. Basically, carry on smashing the ulcer with all the steroids, and I will see him again next Wednesday afternoon at 3. If I don't get an appointment, frankly, I'll just turn up. 

The 25th of July. 

And I am back to feeling terrible. I woke up too early and lay in bed listening to a whole playlist because the news is too unbearable. And I think it will stay that way until Boris is no longer Prime Minister. Fucking hell. 

I've spent pretty much the whole day avoiding the heat, sitting in the dark, knitting when I can. I watched a film called Puzzle which is about a woman who discovers she's really good at jigsaw puzzles, falls in love with a hot rich man who wants to do puzzles with her, but for some reason in the end she stays with her husband who is a prick. I really hoped it might at least have a nice, redeeming, predictable ending but no, she decided to be a moron and get a train to Montreal. 

My eye hurts and I am tired and it is too hot and my brain is all fucked up and I just want to go to bed for a week.